On December 11, 1995 a mother with high blood pressure is told her blood pressure has sky-rocketed and will not come down. She is sent to a bigger hospital where the doctors perform an emergency cesearean. Baby AJ was born two months premature and weighed only 2 lbs. Because of his size he is not capable of crying like a normal-sized baby. The mother is unable to touch or hold him. All she can do is look at him as they bring him to the neo-natal nursery. The parents have to explain to the brothers, age 6 and 5, why not only is their new baby brother going to stay in hospital for an unspecified period of time but they couldn't see him.
After two months of feeding tubes, oxygen, lril-light for the jaundice, and blood infusions and was finally able to go home on February 12, 2006. A happy family reunion. So how did this all come about? How is the child now?
Well some people believe it all had to do with the mother's health. We know she gave birth prematurely because her blood pressure wouldn't come down, but could anything have been down prior to the event to avoid it? Was she taking proper care of herself? At the time, she was abusing alcohol and was addicted to cocaine. The question remains asked is if she was using during the early stages of her pregnancy. Interestingly, she has a sister who went into labor prematurly the same day. Her baby was also two months premature but weighed 6 lbs and was perfectly healthy.
As far as her blood pressure goes, she was suppose to take medication and see her doctor regularly. She had a history of cerebral aneurysms and had two brain surgeries. Hence the reason to take proper care of herself. She was also ordered to lay off the nicotine. She neglected to do any of this. The medication was expensive and they were always broke. Both parents having drug and alcohol issues, important things like health take the back burner over addictions. Could this have any impact over why her blood pressure failed to come down? Some people believe it is possible.
Well, AJ went home and made great progress developmentally over the next year. I can't say the same thing for the household he lived in. His doctor order a smoking ban around him. His family followed orders at first and only smoked outside. Then they turned the boys bedroom into a designated smoking room. By the end of AJ's first year they were smoking anywhere they wanted too. His mother seemed to cut herself off from her outside family even more as she slipped heavier into drinking.
Sometime in '96 something happened. I am told by AJ's father that the mother came home from clubbing late one night. Whe she came to, she found little AJ on the floor next to her bed. Not knowing what happened or how he got there the incident frightened her to the point where she had enough. She had hit her proverbial bottom. She started going with her father who was a recovering alcoholic to AA meetings and dances. Because they were so far way and her license was expired she would spent nights at her sister's house. Her husband got angry and didn't support her actions. He himself still a user and a closet drinker. It is unknown if AJ's mom knew her husband was an alcoholic. She made new sober friends and no longer associated with those who used. That meant her husband's friends. This caused and even greater rift between them. Here's the thing one can't remain acquainted with users even family if one choses to remain sober. Well, in October '96 he pulled up in front of my apartment with all of his junk in his truck. Apparently she kicked him out.
He stayed next door to me with his alcoholic brother. Both drinking everynight. By December, she took him. More than likely it was for convenience and the holidays. If she loved him, well, love is not enough to stay in that kind of a relationship. She did not seem happy at all.
In January, she came home from an AA dance. She was very excited beause she had won a trophy for doing the best Macarena. It was something she was proud of because it showed how far she had come. She couldn't wait to share it with her husband. He didn't care. Remember, he was using and drinking. He beat her, broke her trophy and smashed some pieces of furniture.
She was scared. She was afraid of calling the police out of fear that he would do something to her before their arrival. She made a plan. Fight chaos with chaos is what a call it. She waited until she could get him out of the house and then she got a restraining order and called the police and all that jive. So by the time he came home the cops were there waiting for him. I don't recall now if the charges stuck. She may have waited too long. He was made to leave and he couldn't come back until she vacated the premises.
She and the children moved away. She rented a nice 3-story apartment and got a job working at a mall. She renewed her license and bought a cheap car. She enrolled in college majoring in nursing. AJ was placed in preschool where he continued to thrive learning his ABC's and123's, colors and shapes. She invited a man into their lives. One who moved in with them but had a violent nature and would scare the crap out of AJ. AJ was scarred for years to come.
Dad was allowed EOW but it proved nasty. Fights always broke out between the parents and the new boyfriend. Dad didn't want AJ because he couldn't handle him. As a result drop-off was down at the police department. However, over time it was ordered that Dad no longer have any visitation at all unless he underwent drug testing. He refused. As a result, the boys didn't see their father for 2 years. AJ was forced to call the new boyfriend daddy. The older boys would take me aside and whisper to me questions like how's daddy, do you see daddy sometimes, tell daddy we love him.
The mother graduated phi theta kappa second in her class with an associates degree in nursing in May of 1999. She was engaged to marry her boyfriend. She borrowed money from him to fix her teeth. After paying him back, she was planning on saving money for breast implants because her boyfriend didn't feel they were BIG enough. This was once a woman who prided herself on, yes, her boobs. Now she was going to make 'em bigger because some loser thought they weren't big enough. She wasn't taking her medication because he wouldn't let her. They fought alot about it. One side effect was a low sex drive and he didn't want her having a low sex drive. She avoided her appointments. The good news was she good hired at a hospital. The job she was shooting for. She also got an autograph from her favorite race car drive Jeff Gordon. A dream come true for her.
However tragedy struck. On September 20, 1999, just days before she was due to start her new job she was found dead in her bathroom floor after coming home from the NASCAR race. It was in the middle of the night. When I got the news I went over to let the dad know he cried and I left and headed to the hospital. I watched family members come and here the news and fall to the ground unable to stand the agony of our loss.We headed to the house. The feel of death was in the air. We sat the older boys down and explained to them that their mother was gone. I looked at the younger one who had a bad relationship with his mother. His face was expressionless. They left with the boyfriend's family who immediately sought guardianship without asking any family member first. The fiance said he couldn't pay for her final expenses even though he had a huge bank account. My mother paid for the final expenses and she was cremated.
The father wanted me to help him get custody of the boys. I told him he needed to prove to me that he was clean and sober. Otherwise, I would seek guardianship myself. Eventually I went to the court and helped him file the necessary paperwork. The family was reunited in October 1999. Big mistake. I have done alot over the years for this family and continue to do so.
Currently, the older boys are constantly in trouble with the law. The middle being in the most trouble facing a possible 11 B & E charges. AJ just went back to school after being suspended for having cigarettes in his possession. Today, on his birthday, he is facing charges in court of possession of tobacco product by a minor. He's constantly in trouble. There's alot more going on. DCYF was notified by someone and they opened up a case. Around that same time I contacted the police department because of concern for AJ's safety . I was told not to get involved. The reason for contacting the department was because it was a holiday weekend.
Well, it's his birthday. I doubt anyone bought him anything. I doubt anyone cares. Happy Birthday. Don't get into anymore trouble. Tell the truth and the truth will set you free.
