Abstinence: The Gateway to Perpetual Bliss
This generation of MTV, BET, multiple body piercing, and sexually charged songs has truly come a long way from petticoats, The Salem witch trials and The Great Awakening . Generation X , as it is called, my generation rarely practices the sacred lifestyle of “purity, chastity, [and] virginity”, and I mean could you blame them?(Gray 1). Texas alone “nearly tops the charts in teenage pregnancy” and there is no sign of that catastrophic, calculation ceasing any time soon (Nowlin1). The act of “total abstinence until marriage” is a necessity in life particularly in the adolescent life, and it needs to be exercised (Gray 1). Now there are critics and skeptics who are antagonistic to the idea of “true love wait[ing]” because he or she believes that homo sapiens are “genetically
structured to seek out sex to reproduce” (Seghal 1) (“The case against abstinence 1). Yes that is true, but why would a person particularly a teen have a principal goal in wanting to repopulate the earth? When he or she can not even make up their mind on whom to put as their number one on myspace. Teens tend to be easily swayed when the catalyst’ are trends, fads, and the most notorious--- peer pressure. Now do not get me wrong sex is good, sex is even great when the union is between husband and wife. People have been fed lies for years about intercourse, which later leads an unfortunate individual down a gloomy path of “headaches and heartbreak” (Gray 1). The tale that has been going around about sex for many years is that “when a person becomes very special to you, you want to share your body as well as your mind”(Ayer 10). Lets get real, now how many people who lost their virginity to their first “love” are still with this first love, more like
first “quick thrill” (Ayer 11). Astonishing as this information sounds “nearly 900,000 teens become pregnant each year in the United States, 500,000 babies yearly are to show for it” (Endersbe 6). Teenagers have been getting “pregnant for hundreds of years”, but this day and age “teens have [had] sexual intercourse more than [ever] in years past” (Endersbe 6). Can you imagine what goes on in a father’s head once he comes to the realization that his once pure, untouched twelve year old daughter Suzie, is consummating her three month relationship with her sixteen year old boyfriend? No longer will the pseudo, unadulterated façade of Suzie’s innocence stand upright, rather when the saddened news of her pregnancy is know by her naïve father, the walls of innocence come crashing down. This ill-fated outcome could have been stopped in its tracks immediately, if Suzie knew about abstinence and most importantly if her father taught her about abstinence.
Luckily “one in five teens [do] not have intercourse during the teenage years”, so amongst plenty of darkness there is a light; one out five at least. A few of these lights being “The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and Jordin Sparks”(Gray 1). The fact that beautiful, talented, and wealthy teenagers are able to stand firm and “proudly flaunt their decision to remain abstinent until marriage” in an environment that definitely does not support abstinence is truly amazing (Sehgal 1). If these influential youths are able to stay unbending in their beliefs and views in Hollywood, the epicenter of sex, lust, and promiscuity; than how come teens form suburban “working families” can not? (Nowlin 1). The only way abstinence can still be part of our lives is through a powerful, parental paste, better known as family. No matter what hurricane of chaos that may occur in a teenagers life, as long as he or she has a strong, spiritual, support system as the eye of their hurricane; he or she is
able to accomplish the exceptional feat of abstinence until marriage.
There's a few things the "abstinence-only" camp seems to neglect.
1) Rebellion and the temptation of taboos -- This is, in my opinion, one of the largest driving forces behind the fact that teens aren't abstinent. Why? Because as soon as we, as a people, are told we can't or shouldn't do something, it becomes all the more tempting.
Did you know people used to think ankles were sexual body parts? Seriously. People weren't allowed to show their ankles because of it. It was taboo, and because it was taboo, people wanted to see them. Once it stopped being taboo, people's fascination with them stopped as well.
The Prohibition is another example. Outlaw alcohol and more people start drinking. Why? Because it's dangerous. It's risky. There's a chance of getting in trouble. It's that that's so appealing, not the act of drinking.
2) Knowing does not always equate to heeding - Again, the result is actually the opposite of what you may think. Abstinence-only education actually results in more sex and pregnancies.
Texas
is abstinence-
only.
It spends more money on abstinence-only sex ed and has more teen sex than any other state.
3) Believing that one's child is a "perfect little angel who can do no wrong" is dangerous - Guess what? As a parent, you're human. Your teen is also human. Think about it this way - even if you were "the good kid," were you anywhere near perfect? Probably not. So what leads you to believe your kid isn't the same way you were when you were his/her age?
By believing that your kid is some perfect little angel, you are very likely to ignore the fact that, hey, your teen's human! They're going to make mistakes, they're going to get in trouble once in a while. In order to make sure they don't get in trouble all the time, you need to accept that they're human and act accordingly to teach them. There's no Utopian idea of your child being an untouched angel to tear down if you've never built it to begin with.
That's not saying that you should treat your child as if they're some tramp. Just face the reality - they're going to have sex eventually, and whether that's when they get married or not, it's ultimately up to them. Your goal is to make sure they understand the importance of waiting and, should they choose not to wait, the importance of proper use of contraceptive methods and staying safe.
On a side note, if you're going to cite sources within your text, please include some sort of bibliography or link with them so your readers can see what you're referencing.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
About the source thing, okay i shall do that. So by ur response i'm guessing you dont believe in abstinence huh? Because it is true with the teens having sex thing to rebellious, but you cant like generalize it becuase not all teens are like that. It all depends on a persons morals, family, and will power. It is possible to be a virgin till your married, i Know many who have successful marriages, becuase both the wife and husband waited for the right person Blessing Wokocha
I believe the choice to remain abstinent is up to the individual. I made the choice to remain such until I chose to have sex with the man I came to marry.
I don't, however, believe that abstinent-only sex education is the way to encourage kids and teens to be abstinent. In fact, I find abstinent-only sex education to be ineffectual and dangerous. The links in my previous comment made that clear.
Because it is true with the teens having sex thing to rebellious, but you cant like generalize it becuase not all teens are like that.
Reread what I wrote about rebellion. People do things because they feel they aren't supposed to. It doesn't matter if it's a teen or a 40-year old. The Prohibition is a prime example of this. The story of Adam and Eve is a prime example of this. It's a simple matter of the fact that if something is readily available for us to make use of, we take it for granted, but if something is restricted, we no longer take it for granted and it becomes tempting.
And no, not every single person is going to exhibit this behavior, but when dealing with sex education, you have to generalize. The ones that choose to remain a virgin will most likely continue to do so even after learning how to use a condom.
It is possible to be a virgin till your married
Indeed it is, and I never implied otherwise.
i Know many who have successful marriages, becuase both the wife and husband waited for the right person
And, conversely, I know many successful marriages where either (or both) member did not wait. In fact, some of the best marriages I know of are ones where one or both people came into the relationship with kids.
The point here is that if being a virgin breaks your relationship with someone else, then perhaps that relationship didn't have a solid foundation to begin with. There's more to any relationship than just sex. If you marry someone, it's generally assumed that you're going to live with them, and that means you'll probably have to pick up their dirty socks on daily basis.
It all depends on a persons morals, family, and will power
Indeed it does, and that's why I advocate comprehensive sex education, where the message is basically "it's best to remain abstinent, but if you choose not to, here are the potential consequences* and here are things you can do to help prevent the physical ones."
*Note: "consequences" do not just include pregnancy, but the various STDs (in all their gory, gross detail), as well as touching into the emotional effects that sex can have.
I am treated as evil by people who claim that they are being oppressed because they are not allowed to force me to practice what they do. ~D. Dale Gulledge
The Miley Cyrus, Jonas Brothers and Jordin Sparks thing upsets me a bit, I am being mean I think, but I want to say, there must be other things that they can do and be infatuated with so that sex does not consume their thoughts like most teenagers...
Even then, I doubt the veracity of some of their words and it is NOT because they are famous, it is because they are human.
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart...Fudge
SOOOOOOO? wut r u trying to say u think dat the joe bros, miley, and sparks, are pretending and doing worse things than sex Blessing Wokocha
I never meant worse things and I don't really think they are pretending or lying...
I am just saying that although they are human and teenagers, they are not the everyday teenager, that you and I see, in some ways...so to compare all teenagers or hold them as a role model for all teenagers regarding abstinence is kind of not what I would do
I firmly believe in this
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can." - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude Fudge"It's the hard-knock life..."
Why are they not the average teenagers, because of their money? I used them as examples, becuase you know how crazy tweens go for Milley and the Joe Bros and you know that from merchandise, albums, etc, that has their face on there, tweens will swarm. So if tweens see that these poeple that they abosulety adore are abstinent, they'll be like "HEy! i can do it too if they can". You know what i'm talking about. "so to compare all teenagers or hold them as a role model for all teenagers regarding abstinence is kind of not what I would do". What would you do?
Blessing Wokocha
My point was that not all teenagers should be made to uphold or live upto their standards and to those that love these celebrities/artists, that's great if they actually think like you mentioned and I hope they do.
What I would do is teach abstinence plus protection, give teenagers the details, the gory ones that tell everything from STDs to pregnancies and tell them of not only these Joe bros and Miley Cyrus but also of normal, not rich celebrity teenagers who decide to go this route and why.
Then I would also like it if people who made some wrong decisions tell of their regrets to teenagers so that others don't make the same mistake.
All this might not have an effect on every teenager but you win some, you lose some, just getting the knowledge and facts and other people's life stories out there helps.
The rest is then up to the individual. The individual needs to decide what his belief and values are regarding all this mess.
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can." - Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude Fudge"It's the hard-knock life..."
This is the only way. The only kind of sex I am interested in is informed, consensual sex.
If anyone having sex does not know what the consequences are, as well as the options and safeguards, that person is being sexually abused.
I am saying that the state has a responsibility to mandate sexual health education. This means education about anatomy and physiology as well as psychology and sociology.
Why are we waiting until after high school to teach this vital information? Everyone has a right to freedom. Being misled and misinformed about sex, particularly safe sex, leaves young women helpless to the cycles of abuse that are already all too familiar.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I do agree that when most kids lose their virginity they are too immature to understand the consquences hint the 900,000 teenage pregnacies per year.
the problem is with our culture. if we treat this generation's youth as pure and untouch, and if we view sex with a silent ear then we allow for fallacies to flow from the other end . we are simply closing our eyes and ears to the truth, and this is why so many teenagers are messing around.
we should approach the subject in a different manner. lets open up to sex.
What do you mean "lets open up to sex"? Do you mean eduacte teens about sex, properly? Because i think they already know, i mean how hard is it to learn about sex in this day and age? By opening up to sex do you mean let teens have sex or support abstinence Blessing Wokocha