The one thing I hate about my job is when you HAVE to report suspected child abuse.
Each year since I have been in business I have had to do this and now I am upon it again. I called CPS and made an annonymous report stating that I was a mandated reporter and reporting it. I told her what was going on with the single mother and her out of control daughter. I also complained to building security about noise and they said when you hear it to call them.
All day sunday there was out of control screaming and yelling from this kid. Not around the clock but at least every hour. Finally around 6pm I just got tired of listening to it and called them. So sunday evening was relatively quiet as is Monday.
The thing is I KNOW she's beating her kid. Not all the time but she does. How do I know? She told me of course!
She always said in letters, "She doesn't listen to me" in her own broken English, she is not from here, so I ask her a few days later, "Is she listening to you?" and she said, "Yes, I threaten her with a belt" and then she saw my reaction and said, "I don't want to but she doesn't like it." and how do I know she uses it, when I was taking out the garbage I heard typical loud arguing and then WHACK and then CRYING and yes I called security.
How many times have I told her that 'NO MEANS NO" If you cave into her crying she's won the battle! "But she cries" she whined. "So what. she's going to stop eventually." So she resorts to a belt.
Needless to say I have gotten rid of this parent for the constant problems and just failure to establish any kind of working relationship when she can't follow through.
What you may not know is she lives on the same floor as me so I can hear everything. Its not like I've totally abandoned the kid. You might not approve of me letting her go but it was not worth the drama or money and I have since replaced them and still listening for signs of abuse.
So Have I done enough???
How interesting that you wrote about this at this time! I, too, am a mandated reporter and have been struggling about sounds I've been hearing downstairs. We can make anonymous reports? How much information do we need? For me, it's the guy who lives downstairs and all I have is his address. Not his name or anything.
With regards to your actions, I'm afraid that I didn't totally follow it - "...I have gotten rid of this parent..." I don't totally get that, how did you get rid of them? And you didn't abandon the kid? I don't totally get it. However, to answer your question - have you done enough? I don't know what else you could do. You can't enter the woman's house and stop her, you can't take the child... I think you did the best you could, and now we have to have faith in the system. Because it works so well.
It's a tough call, though.
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara
Hi.
I read your post and saw the date on it.
Yes it happens to often
I am a preschool teacher and now run a daycare from my home. She lives in the same building and floor as me so I can hear everything.
So when I say, "got rid of her" I mean, get rid of her as a customer. Just too much drama.
I do think you need to report what's happening downstairs. Do you have security like i do here?
Susan
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A life not examined is a life not worth living.....plato
So she's not a customer anymore, but you can still hear what is going on with her and her child. What a tough position to be in!
No, I don't have any kind of security in the building - it's only 12 units. So one can call anonymously and post this report?
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara
"I think you did the best you could, and now we have to have faith in the system. Because it works so well. "
I don't have much faith at all in the system, and it doesn't work well at all. Only thing is, it's the best we have for now. That's why I am working to change the system.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
re: how well it works. I was being VERY sarcastic. I don't have faith in the system either, so I can understand why she was wondering "Did I do the right thing?" That sucks.
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara
The system is meant to protect the children, but do nothing to help or prepare the child for the real world. once they turn 18 they are kicked out and many end up in the streets
And I don't know if you have noticed, but when people are between the ages of 18-24 - I don't know what it is...b/t 21 and 24 seems to be a "no-person's land" of services. So they're a tough population to help.
"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."
H.D.Thoreau http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sahara
you did enough. You did what the law requires of you. What else do you think you could have done?
I have noticed a cultural trend of child abuse that occurs almost without shame. When people from third world countries come to America, they do not understand that children are not personal property. I have run into this A LOT, but I do live near the Mexican border.
Sometimes education is all these people need. i stood in on a parenting class for parents who were going to classes trying to reunite with their children who had been taken from them due to abuse. It was for a class project, but I had to pretend to be one of them.
I was shocked at how many of their stories were simply due to ignorance and no education. It really opened my eyes. Not everyone who abuses their kids are bad or terrible people, they just don't know any other way, and it is probably how they were raised. It will do this woman good to get some socialization.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude