This willl be short, just enough for the 200 word limit.
MY fucked up life entails a lot of things but probably the biggest thing that I am a victim to is the fucked up relationships in my family between my parents and me, between my parents and their siblings, between my parents and their nieces and nephews, and between my parents and their uncles and aunts.
We are probably a messed up, mixed up and fed up people just like everyone else.
But, Today I feel a special kind of hate for the family that I am a part of, it's not that I wish I wasn't born in it, but more like I wish that I was not here to witness any of this bull shit that goes on in our day to day lives.
My parents and I and my siblings are probably the single part of our family that have an OK relationship with almost everyone in the whole extended family.
But everyone else has something against each other.
They hate the other because shit happened and none of them wants to put it behind and move on.
My family gets stuck with the hate and anger from both sides. We are the middlemen unwillingly.
The shit that I go through daily is just barely enough for my brain to put up with....sometimes I want to really break something, if I was a little more depressed like the past, I would probably think of ways to end this misery but I have overcome that kind of stupidity and cowardice.
Believe me that it takes a strength and confidence and especially, a good heart that beats inside my parents and us, to put up with this shit.
My dad really wanted to move away from all this...he wanted to buy a house in Tampa after his mom passed away this June.
He did not care for any of this but they have a hold on him. He is probably the one who is holding on the most, and maybe he knows that.
I want to move away. I plan to leave them, really, and just visit my own family because truthfully, only my parents and my siblings are the ones who I care for at this moment. Everyone else is just a user.
I want all these fucked up family members to realize just how fucked up they are and how they are using my family just because they are too stupid and selfish to change things.
and just because this helped me get over the hate inside of me
---
there were a few seconds a couple of minutes ago
I felt like killing myself and ending this stupid misery
then I got a hold on this crazyness and
remembered that never give in to the fucked up world
let it go and let them go
I want to breathe somewhere free
and I might just leave those fucked up people,
so that the fucked up world can become right again
seeing as rap is not people's cup of tea...
but it's really good therapy at times to just listen to his shit and one almost feels better with their own shitty life
:huh:
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
Ah, extended families. Can't live with them. Can very easily live without them.
"Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos."
Homer Simpson
my cousin and her husband plus her two kids moved right across my house
I was the only ass hole who told them don't do it and was hated by everyone for saying that BUTnow parents tell me how right I was
I am going to leave...I just need some help from god and myself to be a little stronger
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
Ow...
Well, good luck with that.
"Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos."
Homer Simpson
doesn't hurt to have it on your side
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." A Muslim Girl's Plight
Touche. Well, hope it all works out.
"Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos."
Homer Simpson
You are being affected by the energy flows which takes place in between you all. You literally feel the hate going from one to the other and it affects your balance because you are sick and tire of that feel.
It’s not easy to change it because most people are simply too stubborn and self-centered when it comes to handling negative emotions. People love to vent frustration, they don’t always realize the effects which these acts of venting can cause upon another.
There is a way to handle this, but the most effective way is to create a venting show of your own, meaning to really verbally kick some ass!
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
that shit does not STICK
they do the same fucked up shit and
you know why my aunt said to my mom that I need to see a shrink BECAUSE I am the only one in my family of five who actually lets them know that they are biggest USERS and they need to stop this fucking cycle but it has not changed anything
I stopped talking to one of my cousin's because she was actually ONE of the biggest root cause that our family has to put up with this shit and even though I might still love her
I CAN NOT PUT UP WITH HER SHIT
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
You are HOT girl!!!
You have absorbed to much of it, lol.
Don’t worry about the hate, because you don’t carry it inside yourself, but the amount of anger is present while you need to get it out of your system, like in soon!
It’s good people think you need to see a shrink, it means you are alive and kicking!
I guess you are involved in this fight alone, what did your mum respond to your aunt telling her you need a shrink?
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
My mom told my cousin what my aunt said, one of my few cousins who is not a user, and she said my mom was :cry:
Can you bleieve the heartlessness of my aunt?
Saying that to my mom who I think had a benign tumor in her breasts and is still taking tamoxifen ( I think because my parents never told their kids and I also found this out from others and my own brain because my mom was taking mammograms ever six months.)
I hate this aunt... she said so much shit about me to my cousins (her kids) just because I was arguing with my cousins over clothes and I was only 14 or 15 at the time and I heard her say all this in her hotel room because I was in the bathroom and she thought I had left, my cousin (the daughter of my aunt) saw me in the bathroom right after she heard her mom say all this about me and she saw me crying and she did not say anything.
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
There isn’t much she could had told you, if she would she would had been in conflict with her mother.
Well I guess your aunt enjoys the POWER she has over your mother, whether she is a bad person or not is something else.
Anyhow, she made your mother cry, so she used the right words in order to trigger that effect upon your mother.
When I say the right words, I mean, your aunt was fully aware of what her words would mean and represent to your mother.
There are some reasons why she has said the things she has, this can be jealousy, resentful thoughts or whatever negative emotion she carries within.
To openly question her role in presence of your mother would bring you the answers you need. Never ever question her in front of her own kids, it will only make things worse.
Taking in account what she already did to piss you off, she might hit even harder when she really starts to focus upon inflicting hurt in your life.
You should try to open this up in conversation with your mother, she might come up with reasons upon why your aunt is doing and saying the things she does.
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
She really has something against me, I did nothing to her, I used to love her like a mom but she really broke my heart and changed her image for me
and my mom does not say anything to her because she is my mom's brother's wife and my uncle is diabetic and in bad health and my aunt does take care of him so we are grateful for that and that is what has made her have power over us
and I have learned/ and remember not to talk bad about my aunt in front of her kids
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
If you are sure she carries negative emotions towards you, use “it” the negative!
Reflect it back but in a painful way, she will not be able to cope with that.
Because of your age, you carry something inside she herself for long has lost or run out of.
It’s called energy, bend what’s coming your way in a intelligent way!
Meaning, regardless of how she sends you poisonous arrows, try to give them no other meaning than love by not trying to dodge them.
Send out this loving sympathy for all she fire’s at you or loved ones!
Treat her as your best friend, not in an acting way, but try to evoke and bring up all the
sympathy you can while push it her direction regardless of how she will respond to you in doing so.
If she carries evil inside, it will show it’s face and bite her own to dwell in shame.
Once again, what you carry inside is no match for her, if you pull appreciation and love inside this conflict, she will lose and learn from whatever she started.
Bend it all into the positive!
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
to remind myself of these things
but last year, she also did something very hurtful and what I did was I left to New york and when I came back I got her and her kids presents, just so she knows that I am not like her but I don't know if that was any good.
and I still talk to her and treat her with respect but the feelings that are in me, I hide them yet they remain.
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<
Were just perfect and exactly the way to deal with her condition.
The reason why these feelings remain inside is because they are linked to hurt!
It is to you to give another emotional meaning to this hurt, so it becomes unimportant, so you can let go of the side effects of these feelings troubling you.
Don’t care if she loves you or not, make sure you learn to love her, regardless of the weaknesses she reflects upon you, apparently she uses you to make herself feel better, you are a platform for her to vent negative upon, so you are already helping her out.
Don’t try to understand now, it will make all sense later on.
http://www.wowzone.com/monkey.htm
"A person doesn't die when he should but when he can."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." Allama Iqbal...An Ode to the Cup Bearer<