Buyout Sex or True to your Heart

Among my huge group of friends, four of us are single. We have been single for a really long time and don’t get me wrong we are happy the way we are. There is this one friend, her name is Wes. Do you remember the character of Mischa Barton’s mom in the series The O.C? Well, she is more or less like her. She jumps from relationship to relationship. And she doesn’t do it because she hates to remain single; she does it because she’s emotionally insecure. She is my close friend, so whenever the relationship hits rock bottom she comes to me for advice or just to talk things out. Helping her go through all this makes me feel like Iam the one in the relationship. Like her problems are not hers, but mine. There, you know why Iam single for such a long time. Ha!

Most of my friends get into physical relationships with their boyfriends. This at times creeps me out, because I fail to see the logical reason behind it. Like Wes, she has been physically involved with all her boyfriends. And after every break-up she was devastated. I have always hated the kind of negative person she used to turn into. She just broke up last month. This time it was sad, because she was really serious about this guy (take it from me, she was). Even though he was abusive, alcoholic and a chain smoker; there was some goodness in him. They had planned on getting married and God knows what happened, the guy freaked out. He was three years younger, so Iam guessing he didn’t want to feel committed at such a young age. Leaving her wounded and hopeless. She’s taking it slow and is going to wait for the right guy this time. And I do believe her.

I was reading a newspaper article titled “Sexy Ribbon on the buyout package”. It talks about how the author was involved with the colleague at the workplace, but they weren’t committed for future. There physical relation was what the author called “Buyout Sex”, announcing that this was not sex leading to a relationship.

I liked the term “Buyout Sex”, explains the situation that is prevalent not only in a single country but all over the world. This kind of trend makes me feel sad. I ain’t being judgmental, you might even think that Iam irrationally opinionated. I have gone through so many of my friend’s break-ups, their misery and the sadness. I always wish they hadn’t let their hormones make decisions for them. I mean, if they were sure of the guy, sure that “Yes, he’s The One”, then things will be so much better.

Some people thing that this kind of view is so outdated. For example, Iam sure all of you have heard of Kaka, Brazilian footballer. In a news report he stated that he wants to end his professional career in order to become a priest. “I love the Bible. I want to study it because it fascinates me. I want to share with people who exist around me everything that god is capable of’.”

Iam spiritual, but I have do believe in the fact “to each his own.” So no matter what is wrong or right, in the end, it’s what your heart tells you to do. In one of my so-called counseling sessions with Wes, I would tell her to actually go through what she is doing. Is he the one that she wanted to be with? Is she sure of the fact that he is right for her? Like her last one, as I said before was an alcoholic and they were planning to settle down. This is a huge decision and the fact that she didn’t approve of this vice in him, made me feel concerned for her. Because in my earlier blog, Sonni was having a real hard time as her husband was a drunkard.

People in a relationship feel that the vices in the other person are his and not theirs. And that there is no way they’ll let themselves or their family be affected by it. Like Wes’ boyfriend had promised to quit drinking and smoking after they move in together. This declaration I highly doubted. It’s not in the areas concerning boyfriend and girlfriend, wherein buyout sex takes place. In my opinion each and every case of rape is a buyout sex. It’s a heinous crime, no doubt.

What matters is whether you are true to your heart or not. Because it doesn’t really matter on what people think or question. But if your heart is unsure of what you have done, that’s when you need to realize that something is not on the line.