Living With Epilepsy: Part 1 Diagnosis

I had high hopes and dreams for myself. I was in college working on my first Associate's degree. My intentions were to change my majors to criminal justice after my last child was born. I planned on becoming a law enforcement officer. I was saving money to take driver's ed. I felt perfectly fine.

My son was born in February of 1999. A normal delivery with nothing out of the ordinary. I stayed two days in the hospital. My husband was more supportive this time around. He actually remained sober and took a couple of weeks off from work. I began working out after two weeks and the weight started coming off. I went from 160 to 135 by March.

It was in March that my husband received a letter from Child Support Enforcement saying that they were taking his entire paycheck. It was something to do with the fact that his ex had been collecting welfare since before they had split and the state wanted the money back. The whole thing sent me in for a major stress-induced tantrum. To top it off that day we went to bed late around midnight.

I recall waking up around 3:30am or 4:30am and using the bathroom. I considered going into the kitchen for a late night snack but talked myself out of it because I was watching my weight.....Richard Simmons wouldn't like it. I went back to bed. The next thing I recall is a bright light and voices asking me questions. I can't quite recall exactly what the questions were but I think one was if I knew where I was and I answered that I was in a hospital. I think another question was, as they put me on the gurney, did anything special happen to me recently and I said no.

The bright light was actually my bedroom light because I was still home. When they were asking me if something special had happened recently the answer was suppose to be the birth of my new baby. To tell you the truth, at that moment as they carried me on the gurney and I realized I was still home, I had completely forgot I even had a new baby. I only remembered my older two babies. I was worried about what would happen to them without me. I was also concerned about which hospital they were taking me to but I couldn't talk to the EMTs to well. I was drifting in and out of it too much. They put an oxygen mask on me and told me to hold it there but I was struggling with it because I kept falling asleep.

I found out what happened was shortly after I came back to bed my husband was awakened to the sound of our baby crying hysterically. He was sleeping next to me. My husband looked over and found me thrashing my arms which were hitting the baby. I was ice cold to the touch and my eyes were rolling around in my head. Blood was running from my mouth. My husband took it upon himself to pry my mouth open. That is something not recommended to do. The police asked him if I took anything, drank anything, typical questions. Or course not.

Back in the hospital I woke back up and found myself in an emergency room. My greatest fear had come true....I was hooked to an IV. Not knowing where I was or what time of the day it was I was very scared and completely alone. No one was around. My mouth was in extreme pain. I didn't know why. I pulled the blanket up and saw my new jeans I bought the day before were on me. I had no idea who put them on me. I went to bed wearing my Winnie-the-Pooh boxers. Finally a nurse comes in. She tells me I have a visiter. It was my oldest sister. It still suprises me that she was the first one at the hospital considering she lived farther away than we did.

She was as white as a bedsheet and looked terribly frightened. My mouth hurt really bad so I asked her what was wrong with my tongue. I stuck it out and she was so grossed out by what she saw she had to turn and look the other way. My tongue was almost bitten off. I had teeth marks on top and on the bottom which haven't completely healed. She asks the nurse if there is anything that can be done. The nurse says there was nothing for my tongue. Now my sister was in college at the time majoring in nursing she felt really bad. She demanded that they at least bring me some ice but I tell ya it still hurt like mad. To make matters worse, I notice that my front teeth were very loose and sensitive. The doctor said it was probably from my husband trying to open my mouth.

I was very drowsy but I couldn't fall asleep. Other relatives came and were questioned about my lifestyle and history. Same questions over and over again. Have you ever been hit over the head? Do you use drugs? etc. The tests were endless. Blood work, EEG, CTscan, MRI. When they moved me to one of the rooms to be tested the two ladies were very busy gossiping and not paying any attention to what they were doing. The IV unit became entangled in another machine one of the ladies was hauling out of the room. I was watching and screaming at the top of my lungs in horror as I held on to my arm in a futile attempt to keep the darn IV in my arm. They were busy laughing but turned and gave me a strange girl-are-you-crazy-look while they continued pulling the machines. All of a sudden my IV was ripped from my arm and blood sprayed straight up briefly. I fell back and they rushed over and quickly fixed me up and said on no wonder your screaming. DUH.

I had to stay over night. It was very hard emotionally because I finally remembered I had a baby and I was breastfeeding. They wouldn't let him stay because of the risk of me having another seziure. I was diagnose with epilepsy, grand mal seizures. The neurologist put me on Dilantin. The doctors told me the tests showed a neurological imbalance in the brain which is common in epileptics and some sinus problems. A cause for the condition was not found but post-partum was a possibility. I was told that I would be on medication for the rest of my life and I could never drive. Because I had not gotten my driver's license the doctor's said their was no reason for them to contact the DMV. I felt strange. No longer did I feel like the person I had been just two days before.