Today was a girl’s day out. It is like a weekly ritual among my friends. We go out for movie or lunch or just some window shopping. The main motive is to spend some quality time together. I had college today, so we attended two classes and bunked the rest and went for a Bollywood movie called “Dostana”. The story throws light into the life of two guys who pretend to be gay so that they can live in the apartment of this beautiful girl. And the reason for their action being the fact that the girl is conservative and doesn’t want to share an apartment with guys. But as they are gays, she has nothing to worry about. The tale revolves around them and the funny encounters with their mothers and bosses. It’s a crappy movie but hilarious to the core. After the movie we went to KFC, as all of us are chicken-tarian. Then we gawked at some BMW’s in a showroom. In short, a day full of fun and not a pinch of worry.
When I came back home, I was just making my tornado-hit bed and introspecting… just going over my day and thinking over all I did today. One incident that pulled my heartstrings … While we were entering the movie theatre, a female with her kid approached us. She was dressed in clothes close to rags and her kid had the hungry-stressed-forever, kind of expression. And she was begging for money. Now my friend quickly gave her some pennies so that we wouldn’t be late for the movie.
You know how I would have reacted? I wouldn’t have met her eyes. I would have felt repulsive towards her and would try to get away from her. While Iam writing this Iam going over in mind as to what it is that repulses me about that woman, who is a normal human being with a life like my own? Just because I dress pretty and posses resources that satisfy my needs and desires gives me no right to look down upon her. And you know what came as an answer?
I don’t want to be her. It’s like being near her gives me the feeling as to what would happen if I end up like her. What would happen if I have a kid from some guy who walks out on me and leaves me and my kid alone in this world with no one to turn to? Turning my face from her… as if she’s some creature that is to be pitied and not loved or respected. So the moral of the story is she would be left even more alone and she would give up hope and would god-knows even try committing suicide.
With the recession going on, job security is so minimal. You never know when you are chucked out of your job. Citibank fired 54,000 people world wide. Even though the number is not that huge compared to our trillion populations but if you zero it down to the lives that it is affecting. I admit it’s very scary. 54,000 people with families, with dreams and their specific lifestyles. There life is all suddenly in chaos.
In a discussion with financial analyists the Queen of Britain questioned them, “How could you miss such a phenomenon (recession) when it was in its initial stages?” If I were to answer her, I would say, we are so confined in our own heavenly cocoons that we ignore the person who’s suffering. We try not to help as long as it doesn’t affect us personally. In Aristotle famous quote, “Man is a social animal. A man who lives alone is either God or a beast.” And it, to be honest, points to my beastly attitude towards the woman whom I refused to help.
I can never thank God for what he’s done for me and given me. But how many times have I helped someone else without any ulterior motive? Sadly, I can’t remember even one occasion.
I have come across so many people who do not posses adequate resources for a sustainable development. What scares me the most, their eyes. If you look at them, they are so transparent as to what they have gone through in their lives. The scared feeling if they will have enough food for the day. Stressed, whether they will be able to feed their improvised families. Given up on hope and love. Given up on the people that surround them. People who don’t look at them and just glance over them as if they don’t exist. Given up on people who think watching movies is more important than saving a soul.
i think we are all guilty of this. studies have actually proven that people view the homeless lesser than beings.
http://seedmagazine.com/news/2006/07/what_you_think_but_dont_say.php
I've never looked at a homeless person who came up to me as a lesser being...but I have tried to avoid giving them money if I thought they were going to use it on booze
"I'm more like a fool for soul and passion....
I watch crash, and realize that we all survivors
no religion or race, whatever describe us." -Forever Begins, Common
http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...
Why does it matter what they spend the money on? I had a sociology proffessor that had been homeless for a time and would ask this sort of question. The point he was trying to make was they ARE people just like us and I bet you would be pretty irritated that other people told you what to spend your money or enforce their values on you. Also, they have a very rough life with few, if any, joys so let them have their beer, or whatever, for a moment of peace and comfort and know you had part in their happiness.
Just thought I would share that.
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T
did your professor willingly live a homeless life to study the lifestyle?
but i would have thought that beer would be one of the causes that led them into a homeless lifestyle.
Actually no...he was in a really tough time as a vet of 'the war' and eventually pulled himself out of it, got an education and became a teacher. He is a really interesting man.
I am going to see if I can find an online link to info on him and what he does...
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T
more often than not, I knew that the money I gave was going to alcohol but I mentioned that I tried to avoid it but the thing that probably made me a little more happier was when I gave away food that I bought for myself.
"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...
the birth of awareness.
It is scary to look into those vulnerable eyes. Eyes that know you want them to go away.
Those same eyes that shudder in confusion when met with a warm smile.
It's not about the pocket change they are asking you for. It's about the disconnection from society.
When we dare to meet on common ground, it is shocking to see how similar we are, and how easy it is to end up in their very shoes.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
that's all I have to say
you were living a sheltered life until now,
glad to see how far you've come
"I'm more like a fool for soul and passion....
I watch crash, and realize that we all survivors
no religion or race, whatever describe us." -Forever Begins, Common
http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...
This my reply to the general discussion about whether or not it is good to give money to the homeless.
First, not every homeless person is homeless for the same reason. It is not accurate to assume they are all alcoholics or addicts, though many are. More prominent than substance is mental illness, and many mentally ill who are homeless resort to drugs and alcohol to self medicate. Alcoholism is rarely the root cause of homelessness, it is the coping skill they use to deal with life.
Second, it is not about what you give them, be it change or food. It is about the spirit in which you react to them.
The first time I encountered this situation I was maybe 12, in the Golden Gate Park in San Francisco with my church/school, singing hymns in the park to witness to people. I was sitting on a bench with my sack lunch. A bum came and sat next to me. He asked me for money. I didn't have any, so I gave him my pear, the only thing left in my bag. He took it from me, took a big bite, and looked at me. He said, almost spitefully, "You think you just did something good don't you? You think I am grateful and that I care." I didn't say anything. I was shocked, but not offended. I felt he was probably treating me that way because of my affiliation with the church.
When I was 18 I worked at a gas station. Several of my regular customers were homeless. One was a lady, very nicely dressed, her hair in a neat beehive, with a European accent. I didn't know she was homeless for a long time. She would come in for coffee (we had fresh coffee and didn't charge for it) and just to chat. I eventually learned that she lived in her car with her dog, that she had lived in Villa Park (the richest part of central Orange county) that her husband had died, she had never worked or gone to school, and no one she knew would rent her a room because of her dog, and she couldn't be without her dog. She never asked me for anything, but she provided me with good conversation at an otherwise boring job.
The last and most memorable conversation I had with a homeless person was with a woman, in traditional Muslim garb, with a newborn baby. She had a strong aura of fear. She was desperate for help. She asked me for money, I really didn't have any. She said she had no where to go, and needed to find somewhere where she and her baby could stay. I happened to have a bunch of diapers in the trunk that my baby had outgrown, that I was considering dropping off at the battered women's shelter. I gave them to her, along with their phone number (I am a subscriber to their newsletter, and donate regularly).
I went home and cried to my husband. i really got the feeling that she must be running away from an abusive husband. Most Muslim women are part of a community or family, and are generally looked after. Her face is still very vivid in my mind. I prayed for her for months, and now that you remind me of her, I pray for her again.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
but that women was one of the many women regardless of race/religion/culture who was fighting her circumstances and thank you for praying for her :)
"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...
It was her clothing and poor English that struck me so fiercely. Those things made it very apparent that she wasn't the average every day homeless person, but in reality, yes, many share her experience. And many in her shoes are patronized, sighed at, and receive reactions of disgust.
I remember feeling that this encounter was pivotal. I knew it was pivotal for me, but I also hoped and still hope it was pivotal for her as well.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
so I can relate, of course, mine has been to acknowldge the struggles of a different kind such as kids from well off families that come from broken homes
"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...
I was just reading all the comments and the opinions that people have put forth.One thing I would like to clarify, I wasn't living a sheltered life neither it was like a one day awareness.This feeling and point of view regardin homeless and poor people have been inside me ever since I was a kid. And whenever I would do somthing fun,I would catch them watching me and I would feel so guilty.
So when I was writing this article, it was just what I have been feeling for a very very very very long time!
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It always seems impossible until it is done-Nelson Mandela.
now that you have given us a bit of back ground, we know more of how you have reached to the realizations and acceptance today ;)
"The heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good."
- Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
"close your eyes, clear your heart..." http://www.progressiveu.org/012450-old-and-gold-times-change-my-immigran...