I am just writing to point out how important military wives are. My husband was recently medically discharged from the Army and I was only an Army wife for a short period of time. My husband went into the Army just a few months after we were married. I don't think people really realize how hard it is to be away from your spouse and how hard the military life can be. My husband was only in for about 2 1/2 years, so I know I only experienced a taste of how tough things can get.
I do think the military has come a long way in acknowledging the efforts of the wives as they try to keep everything going while their husbands are away. It’s not that people don’t appreciate the hardship that is endured by military families, I think people just don’t know about it, or hear about it. Long deployments really test a marriage and many don’t make it. The role of a military wife calls for incredible strength and faith. Many husbands depend on the letters and few calls from the wives and families to give them mental and even physical strength to carry on. It gives them a reminder of what they are fighting for, our freedom and future.
Please post any personal experiences or ones of a friend, or add on to my original post.
One thing that I find rather interesting is that many radio stations and whatnot are financially helping out wives that have been left behind after a deployment. While the thought of helping out is great and all, these women and families are actually making more while the soldier is deployed than they would if he was back stateside. I think they should be giving a different sort of support, because these women typically don't need the financial support, unless they were going under before he left.
I don't know of things from a military wife's point of view, though. I know it from a daughter's. My mother was deployed to Desert Storm when I was little, and I think that deployment contributed to my parent's divorce. She was deployed again to Kuwait my first year in college (she quite literally dropped me off at my dorm, drove up to drop her car and dog off at her parent's house, then flew out to Kuwait). Now, three years later, she's getting ready to be deployed again, this time to more of the battle zone in Iraq itself, and I'm left behind taking care of my two little sisters. I don't think the wives have it that bad (after all, they are adults and can better deal with that sort of transition); it's the kids that suffer more.
~C
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One thing that I find rather interesting is that many radio stations and whatnot are financially helping out wives that have been left behind after a deployment. While the thought of helping out is great and all, these women and families are actually making more while the soldier is deployed than they would if he was back stateside. I think they should be giving a different sort of support, because these women typically don't need the financial support, unless they were going under before
That statement is not true, we do not make extra money when the guys are gone, not the NAVY at least, and if we do, it's only an extra $50.00 a month, my husband ship is so cheap they cut the deployments short so that they do not have to pay them the extra money, and that is when they are in dangerous ports.
It is very hard being a spouse. MY first deployment i was pregnant. It was an easy pregnancy until i started passing out and almost died from preeclampisa. MY husband ship would not send him home until My doctor sent a red cross message demanding he come home. and when our daughter was in the NICU hooked up to an oxygen tank they still made him go back out to sea. His C/O's exact words were "unless your daughter dies, you have to come back, we did not send you home to babysit your wife"...Even thought i had a c-section and was put on bed rest..my blood pressure was so high i could not walk to a week because it took that long for the preeclampisa to leave my system. MY mom had to take off of her job and move to Florida with me . for three weeks, the meds i was on made me not able to drive.
This is just what i went threw. I know other women who have gone 15 months or more with out seeing their spouses.
Some women like to compare saying the ARMY is worse than the NAVY, however i see no difference, it does not matter how long your hubby is gone, because we all stalk out e-mail, and phones waiting for some sort of world or an "I love you" when they are gone, we all rock the name tags and we all sleep in their shirts. Love is love.
No one knows what it is like unless you have been threw it. I am si grateful for the ombudsmen and other wife's i have met, they are true friends.
~I want to know God's thoughts, the rest is just details.-Albert Einstein~
Well, I don't know what they do in the Navy, but in the Army, they get both a hazard duty pay and a separation allowance, in addition to their regular allowances and salary. Not to mention the fact that during such deployments, their income is completely tax free. That does amount to more money coming home each paycheck. For enlisted people, that in all can mean as much as an extra $1000 hitting the bank each month. My friend, whose husband just came home from Iraq, used the extra money he was making to pay off most of their bills while he was gone. My mom paid off much of her bills while she was gone, because she also got a special savings account that kicked back a huge percent of interest during the time she was there. So yeah, the women here, where I live, do get more money when their husbands are deployed (we have a handful of Navy people here, and they are all either recruiters or work for NORTHCOM).
I am sorry for what you had to go through, I really am. But I still stand by my claim that it's worse for the children than it is for the spouses.
~C
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my mother's father was in the Air Force all throughout her childhood . During the Vietnam War my mother had to deal with neighborhood deaths. She had to deal with the anticipation that her dad could possibly be called to Vietnam and never come back like the other families.
the military life is stressfull and they do not receive all the credit they deserve.
You know, I remember someone saying that people should start thanking the family of service members, rather than the service members themselves. I mean, yes, the service members do actually serve, but the family is the one subjected to the constant moving, the instability, the chance that their family member could die, etc. The service members are simply doing a job, and getting lots of benefits from it. The family members have to deal with the repercussions of that job.
~C
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I really respect you for being a military wife. The only job that I in no way, shape, or form want my future spouse to be in is the military. I've moved more during my childhood than some of my friends whose parents are in the military, so I've definitely gotten a taste for moving and I don't like it at all. Secondly, I cannot imagine how stressful it must be to let him leave for 6-18 months not knowing if you'll ever see him again. I really don't think I could handle it. I'm such a worry-wart.
I have an uncle in the Navy, friends with dads in various parts of the military, and a friend in the Army who's going to Iraq in the summer (according to his current orders).
RESPECT LIFE
http://progressiveu.org/blog/respectlife
"It is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."
~Mother Teresa
Being a military, not just wife, but a spouse in general, especially during a time of war, is horrible. The constant power outages, commo black outs, the only forms of communication are taken from you.
I have been in over 70 funeral details, 100s of mourning families. Have you ever gave the flag to a spouse that can't receive it because they are in shock? Just the other day a Sergeant First Class saved one of his soldiers out here in Mosul, but lost his footing, fell into a river, was swept away in the current. They pulled him out of the water 3 hours later. He was going back home to his wife and kids next month in DEC.
Your boots fill with water and it's extremely hard to swim. Your uniform soaks up the water and weighs you down. I know this because it's mandatory for people stationed in Hawaii to swim 12 feet in uniform and boots. I could barely swim it and chocked half the time. Now add over 50 pounds for body armor. That guy wasn't getting out.
Last weekend two of my unit's 58D Kiowa pilots died. One I knew well, A chief warrant 3, really good guy. Had hellfires loaded on his aircraft when he hit a wire and crashed into a wall setting off all the missiles. He now has a widowed wife and 7 kids in Alabama.
The following day we had a memorial service out on the flight line when we received sniper fire. The sound of rounds passing by is... interesting. Like a whizzing sound. Hit a guy in the head, thank god it didn't kill him.
But it's stories like these that military spouses hear, think of, while their loved ones are away. I have to lie to my fiance about what goes on here because I know she'll get worried, and I'm only on a FOB. I feel bad for all the guys knocking down doors, detaining insurgents, and getting his by road side bombs while on patrol.
Not to mention the finical situation and taking care of the kids, if any. Which bring me to my next segment... GET A JOB! I know you guys don't work and I know how irresponsible your husbands and wives spend their money over here. Move back home if you have to so you have somebody watch the kids.
Another thing, talk to your spouses leadership about not making SINGLE SOLDIERS go to your stupid FRG meetings. We're single! The information never pertains to us. You guys have a fun time chatting and we have to sit there because you want to chat with the other spouse. Go to CURLY SUE'S on YOUR TIME and chat. We're sick of wasting two hours of our lives because you guys want a stupid meeting. Makes me want to slit my wrists, seriously. Especially right before a deployment.
One more thing... it's not just the spouses and It's not just the kids. It's everybody connect to that soldier. I'm sick of hearing that this branch is worse or, "I'm the spouse. It's worse for me," blah, blah,blah. Grow up and quit looking for sympathy or attention.
Yes, I am disgruntled but military WIVES make things out to be more than it really is with their girlfriends who agree and civilians that really don't know any better. Shame on you.
You guys wanted the war, this is what you get. Thank god Obama is in. Guys have a second chance to fix things. But most of all, GET A JOB. J-O-B, job. Get one, they're awesome. You make this stuff called money. It solves a lot of problems.
Yes, it is apparent that you are disgruntled. Very. It is also sad how you think of the military family. Maybe it is time that you look for another line of work.
Should I assume that you are an officer? If so, it is clearly time you got out. Your attitude towards the wives of the Soldiers you lead is, at the very least, disgusting, and discredits all of the faith and trust they put into you. The same would go if you are a Warrant or senior NCO. Not all military spouses have families that they can turn to. And it is not easy for the wife of a PFC or SPC with 3 or 4 children to find a job that pays enough to cover the costs of day care.
Again, assuming that you are someone of some rank (I am truly praying I am way off here), your Soldiers follow you into battle, their families turn their loved one's life to your hands, the least you can do is give up a couple of hours to show your support of their trust and confidence in you.
Or maybe you do not realize the impact on the families and minimize the situation. You can not even veiw it accuratly since you lie even to your girlfriend. Apparently even you think she would break under the truth. Typical 'silly man' stuff. We do not break as easily as you think because of the things you frown upon.
SiA said it best above, I sure hope you are not leadership, and I wish you a safe return never the less.
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T
Having been there done that both as a military meber and a military wife, I will have to say it takes extraordinary children to help out in the times of stressful deployments.
The stories are endless. Briefly, when mine was gone TDY my son (almost 4) was a great help and the house remained clean and the kids stayed loved and full bellied. Now that he is back it is a lot easier to live but the house is a mess;)
ANyway I really liked your post.
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T