Pouring the dark tears.

There comes a time when all shadows enter your inner self. This time I will call my teenage years. I'm no longer one of darkness and shades, but of blithe light. As you become 13 years of age, the very first minute is your first reality check and then it multiplies to a 100 as the seconds go by; we all know what I'm talking about. Do not contradict me, my teenage years have let me spread my roots into the soil of the wise, yet I did not find water for a long time. Last year, the sun bathed me with its cheerful rays, and I became me again for the first time in years.
Young children yearn to grow older, to be the big "one-eight" (18) yet when you are just about to turn that age in a short amount of time, you start shaking your head "no" and rocking yourself from side to side pleading to be 8 years of age again. The childhood innocence left me far too rapidly, it's as if it never really existed. Please tell me that in 10 years from now, I will not look at those days with regret. By that I mean because I've always chained myself to a 450 feet brick wall. Frankly, it's not that I'm not gregarious, because I love challenges; yet it's a force greater than you and me together. It's the force of the undefined. It's something that keeps me from what I want to exactly act as, yet it just never comes to the real picture...it just plays in my head a thousand times at 80 mph.
I hold an adoration for life, because the smells of all delight me, the thrill feels exciting, and love in the air smell fresh. All in all, life is a black hole at times, yet all I was trying to say is that in the black hole...there's life! And you realize this as you get older, it's value is undefined.