A few weeks ago, in honor of Banned Books week, I read several Judy Blume Books. One of her books for an older audience is called "Forever." For those of you who do not know, as I did not until I read the book, it is about a high school senior, Katherine, and her first sexual experiences. It is told through her point of view and details how she met the boy, Micheal, their first time, and the consequences that followed.
Reading this book reminded me of a quote I read once: "There are no rewards or punishments, only consequences." I would guess that Blume would agree. One of the consequences that struck me, was both of their obsessions with forever. Both Katherine and Micheal believed that they would be together forever. But how strong was their relationship? She feared that a summer apart would be the end of the world while he was threatened by a tennis coach his girlfriend just met. If they really believed in their love, wouldn't they think it could withstand anything?
Of course, there was the importance of the act of sex, or lack thereof, itself. Micheal's best friend even took extreme action, partially because he could not "perform." Katherine's best friend, at the beginning at least, believed that it would be shameful to go to college as a virgin.
Of course, the characters practiced safe sex, and went to Planned Parenthood. This is one of the points where family influence is shown. Her grandmother is a big advocate of PP. Also, even though she never told them, her parents still seem to know what is going on. Her mother gets her to think about what's going to happen when it ends, which upsets Katherine, because she thinks it never will. She wants to know when her parents lost their virginity.
Is this book a realistic portrayal of teen sex and love?
When we are seveteen and head over hills for a guy or a girl how are we supposed to know if its love or lust?
I feel that as teenagers its always love because we are young and innocent. I don't mean we don't make mistakes, we all do and some of us give up our virginity before marriage and some of us don't; however, we haven't really experienced life and being hurt. I think as we get older we are so afraid of being hurt we forget how to love because we are too busy trying to protect ourselves. But isn't being hurt part of growing up? I don't think the pain is ment to stay with us as a reminder of a consequence. I don't even think we are supposed to remember the pain; but, to remember the good times before that. When for a moment everything was perfect. If we dwell on the bad then whats the point of even having anything good in our life.
I just feel that as teenagers we know how to love and part of loving is forgiving. I think we hold grudges even if we say we forgive. How can we truely forgive if we don't learn to let go and forget? If we are always bringing up the past then have we truely forgotten?
I attend church every sunday and I sit and listen to the pastors talk and every thing they say goes in one ear and out the other. But I remeber one of the sermons. She was talking about forgiving and how in the bible jesus says that if our neighbor asks us to forgive then we should forgive them 77 times. That doesn't mean actually 77. Besides we could never keeps track of the number of times we forgive someone. She challenged us to take a flash card and every time we forgive someone to mark it down on the flass card. Then she said that when we forgive them 77 times that we don't have to anymore that when we get to hevan they could show God that they did as they were told.
Then she said that we would not truely be forgiving because we wouldn't be keeping a tally sheet we would be forgetting. She said that Jesus shows us true love by forgetting our sins.
Is true love not forgetting what other do to us? I think it is which is why I think as a teenager we still know how to love because we are much more forgiving.