So I had a great weekend in bed with a new lover...and I learned a thing or two.
What did I learn? Some crazy new position or Karma Sutra pose? On the contrary, I learned just how sexy it can be to truely, really, respect the other person you are sleeping with. I've never ever had a man ask me, every step of the way, whether what he was doing was ok. I used to be one of those girls who scoffed at the idea that "consent is sexy..."
I mean, I knew that it was good to make sure you aren't, essentially raping the other person, but I used to hear people in radical circles talking about "asking permission to touch," I was the first to roll my eyes.
No longer. I found out this weekend just how sexy and lovely it can be to have someone ask, every step of the way "Are we good here?" "What do you want to do?" "Can I do this?" "Can I touch you there?" "Can I hold you like this?"
Oh. god. Truly mutual, consensual, talked about and agreed upon anarcho-punk sex is sooooo sexy...I suggest you try it. But stop...first make sure you've got plenty of Clash albums and anarchist reading material to throw in between lovemaking sessions.
I'm serious. Try talking about each and every thing you do with someone next time you get down. It is very sexy to be looked in the eye and asked "whats next? What do you want to do?"
Even better...men, bring condoms with you! It'll turn her on, guaranteed. The best part perhaps was that he let me completely chose my level of comfort...I took my own clothes off when I was ready (doesn't sound sexy I know, but it was, and because it took me a while to realize that I was calling the shots, which I am not used to, I got a massive amount of kissing and foreplay!) Anyway, I'm used to men who play tricks in order to not use condoms and people who immediately get out of bed after sex to play computer games...not used to a sexy punk guy holding me and reading to me about Robin Hood...
Shout out to considerate lovers!!!!!
Love ya,'
Carrot
You know if you were sitting next to me I would totally punch you for telling me about your sex life. I would of course ask if I could before hand just to be sexy...
Ok seriously though, I am glad you had a new and an amazing experience. As cool as it is now do you think that after a while this might get annoying? I only ask because my husband's pattern of things is but I thought it was...neat... in the begining.
To TMI!
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T
I guess I was a little sex-high on oxytocin when I wrote this entry...not only is it possibly too intimate for some folks, but it is also just terrible writing.
Did you know that after a woman organisms she is pretty much high on oxytocin for about two days...whereas a man is high on oxytocin for about twenty minutes after orgasm. This explains a lot, doesn't it? men pass out shortly after sex, because the body tends to "crash" from the high of oxytocin, and when it does, like pretty much any crash, you need sleep. women on the other hand, would prefer to stay and cuddle in bed for oh....two or three days and talk about their experience. This is because she is still running high on oxytocin.
Oxytocin is an amazing natural "drug," and is responsible for what some women called "orgasmic birth." You see, without pictocin in the system, (which is the artificial form of oxytocin,) a woman produces so much oxytocin, especially during the very last part of the pushing stage, she's essentially higher then she'd ever be on any man-made drug. If you watch birth videos of natural labors and births, you will see this look on mommas faces as the baby comes out that spells ecstasy. Anyway, that's how it happens for some people.
I love oxytocin!
Love ya,
Carrot