The Chicago International Film Festival is renowned for its selection of interesting and independent films from around the globe. This year, however, many movie-goers were swindled into paying $20 a ticket to see “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” which was directed by Kevin Smith. As I walked out of the theatre and made my way home, I could not have been more disappointed. My knowledge of filmmaking was very limited before this experience, so this is the first time I will blame the failure of a film on the director, instead of the actors. Zack and Miri is an embarrassment to filmmaking not only because of the shallow and absurd plot, but also because of the poorly written script, and boring camera work.
With my friends, I refer to “Zack and Miri” as “Knocked Up 2.” Not only because Seth Rogan stars in both of them, and Elizabeth Banks (Miri) might as well be Katherine Heigl, but because it has the exact same exhausted story line. Two high school friends live together for 10 years find themselves in a financial crisis. Zack and Miri come to the conclusion that they should make a pornographic film to make some money. While having relations on film, the two suddenly realize they have romantic feelings for each other, have a falling out, and then in the end get back together. The plot is so painfully predictable that the words “romantic comedy,” would make anyone want to scream after seeing this movie. The slight twist on the plot by Kevin Smith was adding in the “make a porno” part. This bold move has created a lot of publicity for the film, but in reality, does not add any merit to the substance of the plot.
The dialogue of “Zack and Miri,” comprises of an unrelenting flow of sexual innuendos, crude jokes, and embarrassingly unrealistic scenarios. While the film is not an actual porno, and it is obvious that no one is actually having sex, it is ironic that the offensive material is not the footage itself, but instead the super offensive and vulgar language that was altogether unjustifiable. The humor of the film is intended for middle-school boys, but the content is intended for adults, making the film awkward to watch. In the Q&A session after the film, Kevin Smith admitted that it took less than a week for him to write the film. This much is evident from the poorly developed plot. While most of the movie Zack and Miri appear to only have a platonic relationship, Smith is desperate to pull in the romance, probably to ensure that both women and men will be included in the target audience. The final few moments of the movie are supposed to be endearing as Zack apologizes to Miri, of course she is on the toilet, and one of the naked co-stars bursts in for a cheap last laugh. Viewers are left with a hastened happily-ever-after, still trying to forget the perturbing images that were just flashed across the screen.
Kevin Smith’s “partner in crime,” in this movie was definitely David Klein, the Director of Cinematography. After the film, Smith boasted about how happy he was to work with Klein again - they had previously done “Clerks” and “Clerks II” together. I was surprised to hear him say that the camera work of this movie was a lot more interesting than his past projects, because the camerawork seemed to be minimal. Smith claims that the camera “moved around more,” in “Zack and Miri,” however, most of his shots are straight on shots of the characters. I do not recall seeing any interesting camerawork at all. The camera was always directly on the characters, never showing extreme close ups, cut-aways, or cut-ins. By doing this, Smith made the film shallow in every possible way. It seems that the camera work in this film is just another example of the low standards Smith had for this movie.
“Easy money,” is the reason Kevin Smith gave for making this obnoxious movie. When he said this, I personally felt shocked and a little offended. He made it clear to the audience with these words that to him filmmaking is not an art, but a way to steal away people’s money as they are tricked once again into thinking this film may be original and not a complete waste of time. The directors of the International Film Festival should be ashamed to have let this film in with true artistic pieces. However I can thank Kevin Smith for showing me exactly the type of film I will never be paying to see again.
Personally, I'm not the least bit surprised that this movie proved to bit a crock of shit; I think Kevin Smith is totally over-rated. Clerks was a great movie from start to finish and sealed Smith's cult status, but what has followed since has yielded a less than impressive legacy.
Chasing Amy starts out great, then descends into schmaltzy bullshit. Mall Rats could easily have been pared down to the half-hour mark, without doing anything but enhancing the movie. Dogma, I actually enjoyed, but again my enjoyment was tainted by numerous geeky stabs at being 'wacky'.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was sickeningly bad; my viewing of this piece of shit in the cinema was only saved from a sense of utter misery by the fact that when half of the audience took their cue to applaud, when prompted,upon the entrance of Mark Hamilton, the rest of us had the opportunity to collectively abuse them mercilessly for being so utterly sad.
I could go on, but all-in-all Kevin Smith has produced nothing of real note beyond Clerks; all the good stuff from everything else he's produced could be reduced into one movie, with trimmings of pure shit littered around it in heaps.
Smith is a brand, I've watched most of his movies hoping for a glimpse of the substance that made him a brand in the first place, but he's done nothing but fill his pockets from his audiences' misplaced faith, or at this point it's probably closer to hope. I'm a bit sick of having to remind myself that he made Clerks, just to justify the time I've wasted watching his crap movies, hoping that he'll actually manage to dislodge his thumb from his fat ass long enough to actually write something that earns the faith he so undeservedly gleans from the film watching public.
If he didn't limpet so unashamedly to the Star Wars band-wagon and pander to the most simple of the stoner brigade (the guys who think any movie with a joint in it is hilarious, y'know, the guys who make it a necessity for everybody else who smokes weed to point out that smoking pot does not actually cause retardation, but might aggravate pre-existing cases of idiocy), he wouldn't even have his dummy and the geek following.
The fact that he stated his latest venture was about 'easy money' actually redeems the man in my eyes. At least it's honest and explains why he's released utter shitfests like Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and this new one. I'd imagine he hates people who describe themselves as fans of his and rolls around in a big bed of money laughing at them for being so sad. There's no way I can fathom that the guy who wrote Clerks, could have an ounce of respect for a self-described Kevin Smith fan at this point in time.
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I am the people my mother warned me about.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/tuffgong
TUFFGONG
Senior Executive Administrator™