Out of school, a little sad but happy for the must part in knowing
i would soon be in my home with calvin and my sisters just thing i
knew, and in a great state of mind, next 3 days was a bus ride to
texas boring , no sleep, almost no food, and felt sick the whole way,
got their and everything was just like i knew it would be i was home !
i spent time with calvin and my sisters i had sooo much bedrest and went to
sea world and tinka taco like a billion times, fun ? oh yea, so i was
their for i guess a month and i got the phone call, it was my dad ,
i woke up and was ready to go down to calvins and he called he sad
my mom was in the hospital and it was so bad that she might not live !
i cride so much and ran to calvins house and sat in his bed as he
tried to calm me down, and it help a little but i could not stop thinking,
what am i going to do with out a mother.... my mother.....2 days after that me
and my sisters got on a plane and flew all the way to charleston, south carolina.
we went in and saw my mom for the first time hooked up to all those
things and my heart broke my mother, the woman who as i was growing up
was there every time i fell off my bike and scraped my knee, or had too
much candy and got sick, was so hurt and i could not do anything for her,
i felt helpless. you read books and see movies about kids that lose
their mom or dad and you know how sad it is but never really think,
it could be my mom or dad. I'm scared and i dont know what everything
is going to be like after everything happens, im not saying im hopeless,
just close to it. after we moved to conway i remember being so
sad and not being able to sleep and even if it was 3 in the morning
i would go into my moms room and wake her up and cry and cry
and cry and i cant remember what she would say but i remember
the way i would feel, my moms the only person that can make
me feel that safe, i guess its a mom thing and i cant think
of how the rest of my life would be without that feeling!
i know it sounds corny but i dont really care any more,
i dont think my mom knows how many people love her or how much
i love her, what if she dosen't wake up and she never gets to find out?
~I wrote this about 3 years ago, when my mom got really sick. She's in a wheelchair now, doing great and recovering little by little. : )
