Taking the Stage

“If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?” - so said by Chuck Palahniuk...

I've been known to stare off into a distance of oblivion, others trying to reel me in with their golden rods, fishing me out of dark waters. I never seem to place myself into a situation, but rather- it finds me in the corner, and offers a free ride. I ponder whether or not I'm doing justice for myself or just for the sake of other's around me. I question too often, who I'm supposed to be and where I am supposed to place myself.

I don't want my whole life restricted into a single word, a story. I want out of labels. I want to find something undefined, a blank. I want to be something that's not on the map, become a real adventure.
I want my life back.
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Back to Mister Palahniuk. His satiric humor throws me for a loop at times, since I can relate on a grand level.

This is my new start. Everyone has the times in their life where they fall to their knees and beg for a reprisal, for another beginning. I wouldn't go back in time to fix things. I have no regrets. Each lesson learned is what's going to help me in the long run for this new... outlook- so to speak.
You have to start somewhere, right?
You have to make a decision to do something, instead of letting everything just slip by you.

so, here's my defining point- or, undefined moment...
I'm ready to readjust myself, brush off the dust. I'm prepared to have a new mindset, gather my old jury, and give others a run for their money. I will not deal with "drama", or liars, or being treated wrong.
I am who I am, and there's a reason for everything.

And so to end this only slight rant:
"You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”-C.P.