These Things Do Happen

I was popular in high school. I wasn't in that top tier of girls, but I was friends with those who were. It just sort of happened, you know? I didn't dress like them or act like them, but for one reason or another, we got along well. Honestly I think it was that those girls had a hard time being good friends to each other, and just wanted someone who would actually listen to them and not just compete with them. So I was that girl to them- supportive, kind, and generally fun. But I rarely dated.
In fact, I actually dated maybe twice. And then came college.
First thing, the laws of attraction are different out here, but we'll address that another day. Just know, the Midwest is NOT the East Coast.
We'll address one specific incident. He called to hang out. I was hosting a girls night with 10 or 12 girls in my room, and couldn't cancel. He suggested they all come over to his place, seeing as his tv was at least twice the size of mine anyway and he wanted to get to know more people.
We spent hours playing rockband and watching chick flicks with 2 dozen others. He ignored me all night however, and i decided i was being used to meet other girls.
I got home just before midnight. My phone battery had died, and i plugged it in and turned it back on. Before I even saw my background I was receiving a call from him.
Come over, he said, We didn't really get to talk.
We didn't get to talk then either. Less than five minutes in the door, I was engaged in my first ever makeout session. I honestly can't even say how we got from point A to point B. It just happened.
Did he have an agenda? Probably
Was this his plan the entire night? Perhaps
Should I have known better? Yes, but how could I have?
I got back to my room three hours later, where my friends said they were shocked I hadn't realized this was what was coming when he'd called me.
The thing is, we spent 7 more hours the next day doing the same thing. Not having sex, just kissing, cuddling, and more kissing.
I felt dirty and stained afterwards. Especially when he told me he had slept with five other girls previously and wasn't actually interested in me for anything other than this.
I am not a fuck buddy kind of girl. Or even a groping/makeout kind of girl.
So when it became clear to me that this wasn't going anywhere, I immediately cut it off.
But this isn't a place to describe one's sexual conquests.
The results, however, are definitely worth discussing.

embarassment, shame, anger, disappointment....
But it wasn't him that hurt me, it was the fact that I had become another college freshman scarred by a stupid hookup that shouldn't have ever meant anything in the first place.

And it just seems like this is a culture that values casual hookups more and more. I don't get it...how can people survive this kind of thing? Casual sex?? I can't even handle casually kissing!
This can't possibly be good for our emotional states, much less the future of relationships and marriages. I hate when people say things like "the trinity is like an egg; three separate parts but one unififed piece", but i can't help but think of that stupid duct tape illustration i've seen a hundred times...
you know the one where you stick duct tape to several people's arms, and each time it sticks less? It's supposed to illustrate how every time you are sexually involved with someone, you risk your ability to have intimacy with someone else.
I can't help but feel that it relates. Casual sex must have some negative effect on future relationships. How can you really have a no-strings attached hookup? Don't emotions play some part in this whole process?

It's fascinating the things that change our lives.