Masclinity and the Modern Man

The Ideal Modern Man
Masculinity is in crisis and it is men, not feminists, who put it into its current state. The losses of traditional roles of breadwinner, protector, and leader, have been attributed to the marked decline in male achievement. However, the inflexibility of current definitions of masculinity is more likely at fault. The current crisis in masculinity has been coming for a very long time. Twenty first century males, modern men, lack a unified understanding of what it really means to be a man in the ever changing world. Men must feel comfortable in a variety of roles, balancing complex and seemingly contradictory characteristics. America needs men who are confident and open, secure and dynamic, moral and accepting, strong and non-violent, as well as intellectual and passionate. Masculinity must be redefined; the modern world in which we live requires no less. The current definition of masculinity limits men, propagates violence, and sabotages relationships.
There are some who still hold that all is well in modern masculinity. Those who question the existence of a true crisis in masculinity hold a multiplicity of views, from outright denial to more logical evaluations. Some do not support the idea of a crisis because they do not perceive any changes in male performance. A recent article in The Economist (US) revealed some surprising statistics that revealed not only a marked decline in male performance but also increased performance by females. Since the Seventies, the share of economically active men has dropped from 86% to 84% while the corresponding share of women has increased from 51% to 71%. In the Sixties, men received 66% of all American degrees. By 1997, the number had dropped to 44%. Women are increasingly competitive with men in school and the work place. Men must accept changes in society and replace the unquestionable idea of ‘man as provider’ with the thought of ‘woman as equal.’ In 2008, the result of the feminist movement can be clearly seen by all of those who choose to look. A generation of newly assertive women , damned if they will let any man get between them and their goals, have infiltrated every place that were once considered only for men. Merriam-Webster defines a crisis as “an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending.” This is a crucial time for men. A decisive change in how men view masculinity is required if men ever want to feel comfortable in the variety of roles that they must now assume.
Current definitions of masculinity force men into limiting behaviors and roles. Throughout their entire lives, men are continually pushed into a rigid mold of what it means to be a male. In his writing “In Harness: The Male Condition,” Herb Goldberg reveals that men are suffering for the roles that they are traditionally expected to assume: heroes, providers, warriors, and empire builders. He states that, “Men evaluate each other and are evaluated by many women largely by the degree to which the approximate the ideal masculine model (Goldberg).” For this reason, we must redefine what our society deems to be the ideal masculine model. While women enjoy the flexibility of being able to switch between ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ roles, males are caught within conventional ‘masculine’ roles and are punished when they deviate from ‘masculine-appropriate” behavior. Society wants to tell us that ‘real men’ are large-muscled, professional, working men whose interaction with women is limited to obtaining dinner and having sex. ‘Real men’ should have nothing to do with anything remotely ‘feminine’ in nature. I don’t buy it. Real men, modern men, should feel comfortable both watching a football game and going to yoga classes. Real men should stand up for other’s rights, denouncing the racism, sexism, and homophobia so prevalent in popular masculinity.
Some may defend a strict view of ‘masculine roles,’ arguing that men and women have traditional roles and characteristics. This thought, however, is limiting to both sexes, damages the flexibility of our modern culture, and is fundamentally sexist.
The current definition of masculinity encourages violence within our culture. When a boy is placed with his peers, he becomes preoccupied with trying to become more like a man. Males put forth a tremendous amount of effort in order to appear to be seen as a man, and not as ‘gay,’ the perceived opposite of manliness. In his book “Masculinity as Homophobia,” Author Michael Kimmel talks about this phenomenon.
This, then, is the great secret of American manhood: We are afraid of other men. Homophobia is a central organizing principle of our cultural definition of manhood…Homophobia is the fear that other men will unmask us, emasculate us, reveal to us and the world that we do not measure up, that we are not real men.
Boys and men alike live in fear of being seen as not a real man. One way that males assert their manhood is through violence. Kimmel writes that. “Violence is often the single most evident marker of manhood. Rather it is the willingness to fight, the desire to fight.” This concept of violence to assert masculinity may seem silly, and it really is. Violence, more specifically murder, assault, and rape, is an overwhelmingly male perpetrated offence. In their writing “Crisis in Masculinity,” Jackson Katz and Sut Jhally explain the reason for the explosion of violence within our culture.
The issue is not just violence in the media but the construction of violent masculinity as a cultural norm. From rock and rap music and videos, Hollywood action films, professional and college sports, the culture produces a stream of images of violent, abusive men and promotes characteristics such as dominance, power, and control as means of establishing or maintaining manhood.
What is needed is the uniform denouncement of violence as a way of gaining manhood. As long as masculinity is narrowly defined by muscle, firepower, and physical authority, men will continue to act violently in order to reassure their masculinity. Real men should only use violence in the protection of others.
Current definitions of masculinity sabotage relationships between men and women. In a traditional masculine role, men are seen as a success object. Much in the same way that women are objectified as sex objects, men are subject to objectification in their relationships. Men are also confined by the idea that masculinity implies a lack of emotions. Women often complain of husbands who will not emotionally open up to them. Men aren’t to blame for this, a flawed concept of masculinity is at fault. A man should not be afraid of revealing his feelings to a significant other. Real men should be open and assertive within relationships. I am in support of a masculinity that honors and respects women; respecting women sometimes means telling them when you’ve had enough. Real men should not be afraid to be themselves around women.
Some would argue that a reanalysis of masculinity in relationships is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. Authors like Nirpal Dhaliwal claim that feminism has destroyed ‘real men.’ He offers that ‘real men’ should stick to their guns and “look (women) in the eye and tell them to shut up when their hormonal bickering has become too much.” In his article “How Feminism Destroyed Real Men,” Dhaliwal explains a ‘real’ man’s view of relationships, “The truth is, a real man doesn’t care what any woman thinks of him. He doesn’t care what anyone thinks of him: he answers solely to his spirit.” I feel that Dhaliwal’s views are dangerous because they don’t take a woman’s feelings into account. Once a man has betrayed a woman’s trust, he can never fully regain it. Despite criticism, there are no problems with a renewed concept of masculinity. Instead, the ideal modern man should be unencumbered by gender roles while still free to embrace the sexual dominance that women love.
Masculinity is in crisis, but it doesn’t have to be. Men should assume responsibility for masculinity instead of being slaves to it. With the ability to be free of traditional gender limitations, men would finally be free to fully embrace the kind of masculinity that is needed in the modern world. America needs men who are confident and open, secure and dynamic, moral and accepting, strong and non-violent, intellectual and passionate not men who are too busy fighting with each other to reassure their own masculinity.