It's incredible how much life can change in so short a time. Of course, there are those second changes when a car accident or other such tragedy takes the life of someone you love in a mere moment. Those are probably the scariest and most sudden of changes. But there are also those changes where you look back to the previous year and wonder where the time's gone and how in the world you've become who you are today.
This past year has been one of those years. A short year ago, I was living in the north east. We knew of the possibility of moving back to the mid west (we'd lived here for 7 years before living in the north east for two years) and I wanted it more than anything else in the world. Also, I had just taken my PSAT (on the 17th...I cried for 20 minutes when I got my scores back. Now I can't even remember what it was). I had just begun my junior year. I got bored like you'd never believe because we lived out in the middle of nowhere. I was convinced that my life would be perfect if we moved back to where we belonged...the mid west.
January came about and we discovered that sure enough, we were moving back home. I was so excited. I squealed, I cried. Life was crazy as we cleaned, organized, said goodbyes, found a buyer for the house, and all those other fun things that go along with moving. Three short weeks after we discovered the move was definite, we packed a few belongings and drove down here. We didn't even get to say goodbye to some people. I cried as we drove through our small town for the last time. Leaving was a melancholic time, as I was headed for something I loved while also leaving behind people I had truly grown to love.
Once we arrived, we lived in a small apartment (all seven of us) for three months. This apartment just happened to be two miles from my best friend's house. Our friendship had prevailed for four years and, even though we had lived a thousand miles apart, we talked every day. I was so excited to be back. I imagined getting right back into the grove of my old live. Within a few weeks, I realized that that dream was wrong.
It's incredible how different life can turn out to be than what you imagine, what you cling to. It's difficult to explain to others the total turmoil I've gone through during high school...moving a thousand miles away during freshman year and spending the next two years trying to build friendships, only to leave them at their peaks in order to return to a faded dream. My (I guess former) best friend and I hardly ever talk anymore. I'm still struggling to find a job. We live even more out in the middle of nowhere than we had before. However, sadly, I'm never bored...there's still a ton to do. Life's way different than I had imagined it would be.
I question how this is possible...how can seemingly simple things (friendships, school, etc) get so complicated? It's rather incredible...all I know is that I hope between now and next year, I'll have some better changes than broken friendships, crazy school work, and stress.
Respect Life
