How must an Astronaut feel as he floats fast through the vast void of the final frontier? As his eyes fill with fear on a whim and a grim smile takes hold from ear to ear. But take a second to ponder the power behind the paranoia. You, the astronaut are drifting through a space as empty as the mind where there is nothing to find and human contact is not possible in the slightest. At first you're right as rain, the craft's countdown numbs the brain, 3, 2, 1, and you're off! Imagine the immensity as the ship fades from the vision of the matchbox people gathered below, to the astronaut a crazy world begins to slow. No time warp at all, though it may feel so, as your cares melt away. A successful launch.
And so with the survival of the launch, and a proud feeling like a white-trash beer in hand, you have yet to understand your situation. Glancing at gaia, your eyes glisten with a glimmer of gratitude. O! what a joyous world we live on! How beautiful and great it seems out in the vast dark space! Out in the vast dark space...
And then it must hit you. You, yourself, and your mind are all alone on a journey to nowhere. Questions race quickly through the mind, where they serve only to amplify your qualms.Dear god where am I?, seems most prevolent. And you know the answer. You are nowhere. This darkened land destroys the inhibitions of a depressed man, whose there to hold your hand? You have no one. When you're back in a year or two, will anyone remember you? Well say you're a twenty something kid, no family besides your parents, no love life, few friends scattered about the country, and you think, what do they think of me? They probably won't remember come december.
A tear drips down as you smile sadly, thinking thoughts of all the things you'll never see. A womans smile as she whispers I love you, and the baby girl that smiles with her eyes, A young son that goes and plays ball with you, and with that you cry. So an emptiness is cast upon like the devils shawl, a bleakened future now is all but gone. There's nothing, nothing, nothing where you're going. You mean absolutely nothing anymore. The journey that promised to make you a hero, turned you into nothing.
The earth's just a little pin-prick now, and it doesn't seem as beautiful as it once was. It was once a lush, melodious world filled with the hearts and minds that inspired your trip. But now it appears as nothing more than an insignificant speck of dust, something a human would sweep right up. And you realize for all its beauty and all the things you'll never have and all the music you'll never hear, you realize that this world is not for you. and Asthenia takes its hold.
Do I want to return? No, no, no! A million times no! The chaos of a broken life and a broken man lay lost in the darkened night of an infinite land where breeds only the creatures known as fear and hopelessness. So I, I will tame them. I will take this burden and never return with what I'm shown and why? Because I can't! Yes you can. So why? You want to know why? who are you to ask me why? You wanna hear, you want to hear? It's because, because I don't want to...I don't...
And here lies the fallen hopes and washed-up dreams of a hopeful man full of dreams who drifted bravely into the odyssey of space, hoping to better mankind, though in the process only destroying his self.
This is how an Astronaut must feel, or at least a glimmer of this. Bleak and despairing as well as a bit daring. And cold, oh, so cold. The feeling of numbness getting a bit old? Or so I'm told. Do you want to be here? No, but I got no choice, I've lost a bit of voice and mind out in that 5th dimension and it's beyond human comprehension the invisibility that chameleons a man out there. So despair despair despair despair...
Well if that's true, then let me be the astronaut, 'cause I already got all the characteristics.
