Can't we all be friends?

I grew up with 3 brothers, two of whom are very close to my age. So I was always trying to fit in with "boys" and constantly being made fun of for being a "girl". So I grow up and happen to have practically all male friends, and I don't particularly like it right now. Well, then I grew up even more and realize that more than half of my male friends aren't really "friends" with me on the purest level, as they have hidden agendas they are not willing to reveal (and they consider themselves “nice guys,” which, for all their deceitful efforts, I won’t deny, they are pretty nice to me). Having 3 brothers stopped me from realizing that I was a girl, and a feminine one, which includes big eyes and... ... ... well I won't go there. But never do I think to myself "I'm so hot, all these guys want me!", in fact, the opposite got hammered in my head by my brothers: Who'd have thought that me not thinking like that would actually be the problem? I'm 23 and I should know better! But it blows up in my face half the time: I will be working with a guy in school, or work, and meeting for those specific reasons, I will think I have a good friend with common interests and then I find out the guy has no intention of being my friend! It doesn't help that I am in a male dominated field. So, I think I am the only one, only to find out that most single women tend to say the same things as me: That they get along better with guys, that they are one of the guys... blah, blah blah. Um, sorry, no, you are NOT one of the guys unless you talk in a manly voice and are extremely unattractive. Don't lie to yourself!!
I never thought I would be wondering this, but generally-speaking, can men and women be friends? I always thought that they could be, but now I am not so sure. Yes, I KNOW that it is POSSIBLE for men and women to become good friends, but more or less, how often does it work? Do most people who have friends of the opposite sex just keep them as friends because they are interested in other areas?
Anyway, I just finally got my career started this summer and was happy to be working. There were basically all men which I was working alongside with and I was expecting sexual harassment to be like "nice ass," or a guy greeting me good morning and staring at my chest. (Which happened once when I was wearing a turtle neck in the summer!!)? I did my best to look professional and even prude because of the reaction of surprise I noticed in respect to me being a woman. It was a constant struggle to look clean and professional while not appearing attractive, but in the end nobody slapped me from behind, the team lead wasn't hitting on me, (sigh of relief), or anything like I would classify as sexual harassment. Then I realized there were 3 groups of men in the building: Younger men who were extremely nice to me to an unnatural level, younger men who refused to look at me and believe I had a brain, and older men who were surprised but willing to give me a chance. This got me thinking…
Work was extremely frustrating mainly because of the first two catagories of jerks that were ridiculously nice to me, alongside the ones who ignored and talked down to me. Maybe if you averaged the two together you could get an “equality” treatment sort of deal, but I’m not buying it. Sexual harassment typically isn’t your boss asking you to go down on him, or your co-worker saying something nasty to you: For a woman, it includes generally not being treated competent and equal with the men surrounding you because you are a woman. This is so common and frustrating to the point that I even wonder if it is genetic where men can’t work alongside a young, attractive woman and respect her for her work? In that case, they should have taken their mother's advice on "respecting women", which clearly never got hammered into their heads. I would have rather been told “Your hot, nice rack”, responded with a thank-you, and then got back to business, then have conservative men think that I want attention because I refuse to wear ponchos to work, and other men treating me like my sole purpose of being there was to entertain their fantasies (none of this to be said outloud by such men, but clearly, the reaction). I couldn't even smile because, oh dear, that would be considered flirting and being kind would be considered "she likes me!" so I had to develop this angry personality while wearing turtlenecks in the summer time to keep it all under control. In two months I was practically sick, and I give up on the idea of having friends from work, which was really lonely for me because I was in a new area.
So I come to the conclusion that men who can’t have female friends are men who cannot respect women, and “nice guys” are really fools who think that if they are so nice to you, it’s creepy, you will eventually see how great they are (I wish I would have learned this in high school.) Sorry, but it takes more than just being nice to someone that you are attracted to, in order to be considered a genuinely nice person. If I were to give a man advice, I would say to just be honest about your intentions!
And I don’t mind being disrespected if I am exploiting myself as a sexy waitress trying to get through college (which I have), in that case, I would be compensated in tips for being objectified. However, when I am dressing professional and putting in immense amounts of effort at work, being treated otherwise is appalling, and so common a standard, it is depressing. Just because sexual harrasment isn't direct doesn't mean that it isn't there. The difference between between disrespecting a good-looking woman wearing a sexy shirt in an add, and disrespecting a good-looking women with lipstick in a suit is that the woman in the add is getting paid for her appearence, where the woman in the suit is getting paid for a skill other then her appearence. So what is ok in certain situations is NOT acceptable in every situation.