I just tipped the scale and fell off the fence into the land of Obesity.
I have struggled with my weight, and body image, since about age 12, when I suddenly sprouted 36c breasts almost overnight. I also had disfiguring acne and braces, and while I was supposed to wear a neck-gear, I refused, so I had to keep my braces on for 4 years instead of two.
For me, I have always leaned more to being heavy. I am 5'6", currently 180 pounds, an all-time lifetime high. The least I have weighed since puberty was 147. At 147 I look and feel pretty good, at least I think so. I am a size 9 at this weight. My only saving grace is that God has blessed me hips and breasts (which I usually curse), so when I gain weight, I gain it proportionately all over my body.
I tried to be anorexic in high school, I failed. I couldn't not eat for more than day at a time. My best friend was anorexic, she lived on a Cherry & Bub candy, diet coke and cigarette diet.
I also tried the bing-purge thing, GROSS, I absolutely hate vomiting.
I did have a period in my life when I was equally happy and healthy, and I felt confident about my body. It was during and after a break-up from a 7 year long abusive relationship. I started taking Yoga and Karate, one to help me blow off some steam, and 2, so no one would f*#*%$ with me.
I also took up swimming and weight training. I quit smoking.
Some time later I met my now husband. He really is an amazing man, by the way. He's the kind of guy women think about when they see those "Porn for Women" books, that show pictures of a hot guy vacuuming, cooking, etc. I only mention that here because he has proven to me that my body image issues are self-imposed.
Once I started nursing school, I had no time anymore for working out. So, while I gained maybe 5 pounds, the real difference was that I got soft, and I could feel that I was getting weaker, with less energy, more aches and pains, all that kind of stuff.
My body image issue creeped up again when I got pregnant. I didn't gain much weight during pregnancy, I was actually at my very thinnest ever after delivery, around 142. The problem was that the pregnancy was a "surprise" and it caused a virtual 18 month sexual hiatus. My husband and I grew closer mentally, but not physically. I felt rejected, and this hurt me immensely. That is when I started disconnecting from my body again. Well, actually my relationship with my physical body became replaced with my physical relationship to the life that was growing inside me. Once she was born, my body didn't just bounce right back to being my own. it was necessary to ignore it. I had more important things to tend to than my body's needs, be they related to nutrition or sex. Ignoring and killing those needs is what I needed to do in order to do what was best for my family.
For more insight on this see:
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/49356-okay-its-my-turn-excercising-my-r...
After the baby, when my husband would make sexual advances, I just couldn't relax, and I didn't feel comfortable being vulnerable like that. That's when I started to put on weight. I don't know if it was a totally unconscious thing or not. That was 2 and a half years ago, and now, my husband and I have repaired whatever trust issues there were about this whole thing, but now I am obese! And now I am actually motivated to get healthy again. This is something I have been resisting for a while. There's been an emotional and mental block that I didn't totally understand.
Until now. I was speaking to a friend of mine who is a Registered Dietician, who specializes in eating disorders. I was talking to her about needing to lose weight, and I was so proud of myself for going to Trader Joe's to stock up salad fixings, fruits and veggies for my meals at work. (I eat the worst at work, my husband makes healthy food for dinner.)
I was also talking to her about obesity in general, asking if she wanted to come work with me at the bariatric surgery center.
She told me something that really made me have one of those "Ah-Ha" moments. She said that all eating disorders are based on a disconnection between body and mind. That instantly made sense, for the last 2 and a half years I have been silencing my body.
She said, "Think of it like an itch. When you have an itch, you don't even think about, you scratch it, and it goes away, and you go on with your day. You don't force yourself not to scratch it until it itches so bad you have to claw at yourself to make it go away." People do the same thing with hunger.
She calls healthy eating "Intuitive eating".
She also said it's not about food choices. She pointed out that if I eat a salad when I really want a burger, I will feel like I am depriving myself, and it will catch up with me. She said the idea is eat what I want, but PAY ATTENTION to my body. Eat when I feel hungry, stop when I realize I'm full. She also said that writing down everything I eat will help, because I won't be able to "eat mindlessly."
It seems so simple, but I really think this is the key to being healthy, in all aspects. I know that I, and I'm sure a lot of people, spend a lot of time ignoring our bodies. I am going to start making a conscious effort to pay attention to it's needs, and then I think I will even be healthier mentally and emotionally, because I will be connected with myself.
Good for you. I think it's key for optimal body acceptance to first accept that nobody is perfect and that it's important to be healthy.
You go girl! (so 90s..i know...it just seemed appropriate!!)
I'm not a size zero, living on a rice diet, and avoiding the outdoors for the past four months because of the AWFUL humidity has consequently helped me gain 15 pounds...Almost all Koreans are skinny...and if they gain a pound, their society will not let them forget it. There's a constant nag from someone telling them that they need to be thin. Anyway, since the heat has gone away and I've realized that my favorite pair of pants really doesn't fit anymore, I started trying to eat more like how I ate at home and I also started writing down everything I ate. What a world of difference it has made! Just paying a little bit more attention to what I put in my mouth made me pass on all those birthday party cakes and ice cream runs. Good luck to you in your endeavors!
k
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
reality amidst bullshit
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/49917
Maybe according to charts you are obese, but when i think obese I think of someone who is 300 something pounds, and it doesn't match their height.
I used to be anorexic in middle school I was for about a year or so and then some how overcame it myself. I still have my issues with food and have put on some weight myself. I am about 10 lbs less than you are. I have told alot of people my weight and they were suprised and didn't believe me because I have alot of muscle. I am 5'2 though so I am very short, I wear a size 4 kids shoe and my body is set up funny anyway. I also have big hips, but also I have big ribs as well. My boobs are D's, but it is not from the weight gain because I had these even when i was thinner. Even when I had an eating disorder the smallest I could get down to was 128 and everyone commented how awful i looked even though I thought i needed to lose more.
Mine came from 8 years of daily torture from my family, people at school, doctors, and random people. Being told your worthless, ugly as hell and that you might be pretty one day, that you are a fatty, took its toll after 8 years. I remember sitting in the doctors office when I was 10 and the doctor telling me that I was fat and needed to lose weight. My mom cussed him out after he made me cry. lol.
I am glad you are trying, that is a step in the right direction. I want to get down to 128 again but the right way this time. I still have my issues with food from the eating disorder, but I can better manage it.
That was why I was very hesitant to put this new picture on here because the picture that was on here before was about 4 years ago, but I just said screw it.
Alot of people do ignore their bodies and you make good points. Things will only get better from here. Good blog 5 star
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
I really like your picture, and I saw your old one too. When I saw this one, I thought "She looks softer now, less nervous." Don't know why, its just what I thought.
"Obesity is a condition in which excess body fat has accumulated to such an extent that health may be negatively affected.[1] It is commonly defined as a body mass index (BMI = weight divided by height squared) of 30 kg/m2 or higher.[1] This distinguishes it from being overweight as defined by a BMI of between 25–29.9 kg/m2.[1]"-Wikipedia: search-obese
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obese
My BMI is 29.4, so I am almost there. Hopefully, I won't get there either.
Body fat % is another important factor in determining health.
"Body fat percentage is total body fat expressed as a percentage of total body weight. It is generally agreed that men with more than 25% body fat and women with more than 33% body fat are obese.[15] Body fat percentage can be estimated from a person's BMI by the following formula:
Bodyfat% = 1.2 * BMI + 0.23 * age − 5.4 − 10.8 * gender
where gender is 0 if female and 1 if male
This formula takes into account the fact that body fat percentage is 10% greater in women then in men for a given BMI. It recognizes that a person's percentage body fat increases as they age even if their weight remains constant. The results have an accuracy of 4%."-same Wikipedia page as the first.
My body fat % is 42%. So by that measure, I am obese.
I know this because I work in a bariatric scale, called the Tanita Composition Scale.
Anyway, I wanted to share that information because you said you want to get back to 128 pounds. If you are 5'2" that is probably reasonably healthy. But try not to think about a number. Numbers are deceiving, its your FFM (fat free mass, which is muscle) vs body fat that is important. If you don't know your exact measurements, it doesn't matter. Muscle weighs more than fat, so two different women can be the same height and weight and look completely different.
It's not about numbers though, it's about overall health. Eat to nourish your body, exercise to be fit and strong, and that's all there is to it. It's about doing things that actually make your body feel good. The only reason I know this is because I have done it before.
I know I make it look and sound easy, and it really is, but the hard part is caring enough about your body to treat it right.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
Thanks about the picture and information. I understand all of this because I have studied it. I am quite strange and I study really weird things and like to learn. But to me those numbers don't mean crap (excuse me for saying that) as long as someone eats healthy and feels healthy, looks healthy BMI should not really matter.
It is alot harder than you say especially for me because of the fact I have had an eating disorder since I helped myself through it the issues can come back easily and that is also with people who have had help. Since having the eating disorder I have major stomach issues. My stomach hurts just about 90% of the time even after I had an upper GI and they found nothing. Of course this is prominant in people who have Generalized Anxiety Disorder like I do also. So it is very hard to eat in general, but I am going to work on it.
Although I just had a conversation with my boyfriend about my weight, I would have rather him not tell me that I was 2 times bigger than I was when we first got together 4 years ago. I already know this. I do understand everything you said my main issue is exercise. I need to exercise alot more, because I don't really get any. This is somewhat hard when you are 20 and don't have a driver's license. I know it is sad, but it is a long and annoying story. I think I should do fine though since my dad doesn't buy anything at the grocery store, since I am sucking him dry of money so to speak. Sorry I just needed to vent. lol. Thanks for the advice though I will take it into consideration.
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
When I say it's easy, I'm talking more about the "mechanism," if you will, meaning the actual physical part of it, eating and exercising for health.
I also said the hard part is caring about your body enough to treat it right.
There is another key component, and I think this goes for all eating disorders. People with eating disorders can go from being anorexic to obese. Please don't take offense, but when you say you "had" an eating disorder, and you worked through it, if body image and health is still is an issue, I think you have that eating disorder. It's just that now it's manifesting in a different way. Don't get me wrong, the fact that you are not anorexic shows major progress, I just still think you have some way to go.
The other key component to dealing with an eating disorder, is to recognize that it is a conscious effort to block out signals that the body sends to the brain. It is self abusive to "numb" oneself physically, because then you stop taking care of your body. You can't hear or feel it, which is the desired emotional goal of someone with an eating disorder. The problem is, your body has needs, and constantly tries to communicate them to you, and you just push that information down as far as possible.
This also happens with people who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction. They are trying to accomplish the same thing.
In your case, I would suggest that your eating disorder is "latent." You have decided not to pay attention to it, but you are still ignoring your body's signals.
It is strange how big of a deal we make of body image. Even if our bodies are not perfect, and obviously flawed, in the big picture of Life, what difference does it make? Even if I am ugly, why should I obsess about that and hate myself for it, and punish myself for it? Why can't I just accept it and move on, and enjoy the world around me?
The reason is because we place the negativity we can't handle in our lives onto our bodies. We displace all of our stress and emotional pain to our bodies. It is easier to spend a day obsessing about how horrible our bodies feel and look than it is to focus on the emotional pain we don't know how to deal with.
Our bodies are like a charcoal filter, they draw all of the negativity in a person into themselves, and absorb it, and then spread it through the bodies filtering system. This is why people who are depressed get sick more. Cancer has been established to be linked to stress.
No, this aspect of the disease is not easy to fix. But if a person becomes aware of it, a good way to start is to just start paying conscious attention to the signals the body is giving off. The decision to stop ignoring and silencing the body is absolutely necessary if one wants to become healthy.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I don't overeat I just don't recieve enough exercise plus I am on birthcontrol because of my cycles and ever since I have been on it I gained 10 lbs and also have had a VERY hard time losing weight. My main thing is lack of motivation I procrastionate which I have been trying to change.
I didn't take offense to what you said at all I am not easy to offend. I just don't believe that is the case. It was the case along time ago before I had an eating disorder, and even some what after that, but I learned to control my eating. I am not trying to come off as a know it all because I am not so please don't take it that way.
I used to also have alcohol issues and pill issues, and I quit that as well. (Let's just say I have had alot of crap go on) I know many people have including yourself, I am just saying. I still smoke cigs sadly, but I am trying to take one step at a time. Lose weight then quit, and all the other crap I still need to accomplish.
I know about the physical effects of food about numbing, but food is not comfort to me. If I am sad I don't eat, if I am angry I don't eat, etc etc.
At least I am aware of my weight issue and I believe that is the first step in recovery. I just need to eat the right foods instead of the processed junk my dad buys. My boyfriend does not have faith in me losing weight, but I do and I am going to. I mainly need to train myself in keeping the weight off. I can do it no matter what anyone tells me and for myself. You see Thanks for helping me it is much appreciated!
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
I know my last comment was in direct reply to your comment, and I did talk specifically about you in the beginning of the comment, but then I drifted, and was actually talking more to myself, but also to anyone who might not be familiar with this stuff.
And I just want to say, that I appreciate your response, not getting offended, and stating the facts about yourself. It helps me to gauge things. I can sometimes be presumptuous about people, and it has gotten me in trouble. I guess I am willing to risk it anyway, because most of the time I am right, but I definitely do not ever mean to offend. I hope that I am offering insight, but some get really offended.
You see, it actually helps me to write this stuff out, even though I know it in my head, because I am struggling too. So I am "preaching" to myself as well.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I understand how that is I drift off alot sometimes as well, but my mind is in an altered state most of the time (daydreaming) so sometimes I will randomly bring up things and people are like where did that come from?
Most the time your right? This could be true and no this doesn't offend me either, but sometimes a person must admit they are wrong by jumping to conclusions. I am not trying to be rude at all. I am just trying to figure it out. I guess that bothered me alittle because everyone in my entire life have told me they are right and I am wrong always. Please don't get mad what I am saying.
There really is no chance you will offend me so you can always say how you feel. I have heard any and everything plus I understand how people can take things the wrong way, so i try not to.
You are offering insight, but another thing (and I hate to sound arrogant I guess this is the only trait I can appreciate about myself) I am much more mature and know a little bit more than many people who are 20. The need to mature after my mother died probably caused this and them some.
It is good to preach to yourself and I understand that, as long as it helps you keep on doing it! :)
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
Great reply! Seriously, I appreciate it.
"Most of the time your right? This could be true and no this doesn't offend me either, but sometimes a person must admit they are wrong by jumping to conclusions. I am not trying to be rude at all. I am just trying to figure it out. I guess that bothered me alittle because everyone in my entire life have told me they are right and I am wrong always. Please don't get mad what I am saying."
Yes. On your first point: And sometimes I do admit I'm wrong (but I'm not afraid to risk being wrong. I am entitled to that, I think, because I don't ever stop asking questions.)
RE: "everyone in my entire life have told me they are right and I am wrong always. Please don't get mad what I am saying."
I have had that same experience. I hate that. I also never said anywhere that I am right, or that you are wrong. I only didn't exclude either of those possibilities.
Next: "There really is no chance you will offend me so you can always say how you feel. I have heard any and everything plus I understand how people can take things the wrong way, so i try not to."
I am glad that you are strong enough to withstand negative energy. I just wanted you to know that I "Come in peace..." Anything I say to you comes from a genuine concern for your growth and well being. If I interfere with that process by overstepping my bounds, and being too quick to judge, I expect you to point it out to me. That is the only friendly to do in that situation.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
You sound rather pissed off at me. I hope your not. I think communcation on a computer is hard because you can't really tell if someone is being a smartass, serious, or joking. I didn't mean to offend you if I did. I was just curious about what you were saying.
You came back at me like you were attacking me, and it was rather unwelcomed. I really want you to know that in alot of your comments you seem to come off as though you are attacking people and almost poking fun of what they say.
No one can be right about everything ok and although I am 9 years younger than you it doesn't make me stupider than you. I apologized and that is all I can do, and it was not like the bad part of the comment was even directed towards you so I have no idea why you are getting all flustered when your the one that attacked me.
I am really surprised at your reaction. I was and am in no way pissed off at you. I find your replies helpful and insightful. I appreciate honest feedback, even if it is negative. Hence:
I just wanted you to know that I "Come in peace..." Anything I say to you comes from a genuine concern for your growth and well being. If I interfere with that process by overstepping my bounds, and being too quick to judge, I expect you to point it out to me. That is the only friendly thing to do in that situation.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
The total reaction was not towards you. It just seemed like you were getting smart about it, which you must understand how that can get skewed by talking on the internet. You can't really tell tones so it is hard to judge. I feel really bad I really do, but these things are getting way to hard to deal with by myself anymore. I guess I needed to take it out on someone and unfortunately you were the one. It is not right I admit. I need work and so do you and I will be here to pick you up when you are down, and to let you know when I believe you are wrong and I only hope for the same.
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
I completely understand. I don't hold anything against you. Glad to be back on the same page! BTW, when I really want to be "smart" or rather a "smart-ass" it's absurdly obvious, and many people are offended. You don't have to guess about my intentions, I make them pretty clear.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
Anorexia has nothing to do with size. You can be obese and be anorexic, just as you can be skinny and be anorexic. It's a mode of behavior, not a measure of how thin or thick you are.
Also, people who have poor body images don't necessarily have eating disorders. Many do, yes, but I hated my body for a long time. I still ate as well as I did before, and eat the same way now. I don't do much different, really, I've just changed my perception (and lost some weight due to other factors in my life).
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
Want the highest rated list to change? RATE those blogs, then!
"Anorexia has nothing to do with size. You can be obese and be anorexic, just as you can be skinny and be anorexic. It's a mode of behavior, not a measure of how thin or thick you are."
That is absolutely true. It's just that usually (not always) a person who is anorexic is not obese because anorexia literally means "without appetite." Usually, people who are obese do have appetites. You are right though that it is a behavior, and the behavior can occur at any phase. For instance, an obese might revert to anorexic behavior and stop eating. You really can't tell much about a person based on their size.
You are also right that people who suffer from a poor body image don't necessarily have an eating disorder, but negative body image is definitely a major part of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa. Anorexia itself can be related to having cancer or AIDs, and isn't related to body image at all.
"An eating disorder is a compulsion to eat, or avoid eating, that negatively affects both one's physical and mental health. Eating disorders are all encompassing. They affect every part of the person's life." - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eating_disorder
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
There are a set of standards that determine whether someone has anorexia or ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). I don't think this is right, because the most effective way to treat an eating disorder is to catch it in the early stages, but I know a few people who have to wait until they are "sick enough" for their insurance to cover them in a program, or in order to get accepted to a program. I find that disgusting. Once an eating disorder is entrenched, it is very hard to treat and the chance of relapse is much, much higher.
"Never go with a hippy to a second location."
~Jack Donaghy
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
You are very right. What is sad though is that it is the same with all eating disorders, and the health problems that follow. First of all, someone suffering from the beginning stages of an eating disorder is very unlikely to know that they have a problem, and if they do, they are even less likely to ask for help. Very few are offered help until it is forced on them.
Insurance companies also discriminate against the obese. A perfect example is that HMO's won't cover the lap band, a fairly simple procedure, about as invasive as a gallbladder removal, but they will cover gastric bypass, which is major, open surgery. Gastric bypass causes all kinds of problems, including "dumping syndrome" the result of the trauma induced on the digestive system and the extreme and sudden shift in electrolytes. There is also a terrible scar, and people can and do regain weight. It is irreversible, but once the person starts to stretch the stomach little by little, eventually it expands again, and people are more likely to gain their weight back. The surgery also must be done inpatient and requires hospitalization.
The lap-band (laparoscopic placement of an adjustable gastric band) is done outpatient, takes an hour, leaves minimal scarring, has no negative effects on the digestive system, and has very minimal risks, as well as minimal scarring. The fact that the band is adjustable (the band is made of silicone, and there is a long, thin tube that leads to a port, which sits just below the skin and can be accessed with a needle to either make it tighter by injecting saline to expand the band, or looser by extracting saline) means that people will keep their weight off.
It makes no sense that a procedure that is cheaper, safer, quicker, less invasive, with less potential for complications, and has a much higher success rate is not covered by most insurances. Given the fact that people who suffer from obesity over a lifetime will most likely incur such diseases as hypertension, diabetes, heart attack, and stroke.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I don't think that's a matter of insurance companies discriminating against the obese... I think it's a matter of them just being idiots. Fallon has mentioned that her sister's insurance will pay for renting a oxygen machine (I think), when it is in fact, cheaper to buy it and pay for the maintenance.
~C
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Again, you are right. In actual fact, it may not be discrimination at all, but idiocy that causes insurance companies (and other such organizations ie: governmental organizations) to act so, well STUPIDLY.
If that is the case, then I think this kind of ignorant negligence deserves investigation and interrogation. And so do the government agencies that support and purport these kind of ignorant acts of negligence and abuse.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I'm not sure how much I trust that body fat % calculation. The only thing it bases the percentage on is your BMI and your age. But someone can be very heavy, but have a low body fat %. My ex-boyfriend, for instance, was well over 200 pounds at his height. For the sake of argument, let's say he was 220 lbs, and he was 6'5". That would put his BMI at 26.1. According to your formula, that puts his body fat % at 19.5%, which is on the high end of normal, bordering on overweight. However, he was one of the most lean people that I know. He was made up of almost all muscle. There is no way his body fat % was that high.
The tape measurement that the military uses is a much better way of determining body fat percentage (though the skinfold method is the best, it requires specific instruments, so you can't really do it at home).
For males, the formula is % body fat = 86.010 x log10(abdomen - neck) - 70.041 x log10(height) + 36.76.
For females, the formula is % body fat = 163.205 x log10(waist + hip - neck) - 97.684 x log10(height) - 78.387.
You can get specifics about how to measure the abdomen, waist, hip, and neck at this site: http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/a/bodyfat.htm
~C
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It's amazing that you recognized that you had a problem, even if you didn't understand it. Most people would deny even having any issues with their body at all. I think that most people, especially women, find it hard to be completely comfortable with their bodies because like you said, we spend most of our time ignoring them. I know that I have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror sometimes because I've seen my body/myself where it was in shape and healthy but now since I started college two years ago its gone down hill. Sometimes there isn't time to workout, but we (as a culture) fail to see the importance of making time to listen to and take care of our bodies. After all we have only one body each and that has to last us a hundred years or so. I am glad though that the media and the government are taking more interest in conveying the importance of being healthy. Especially since America's obesity rates are a concern, particularly those among children. We as a country should take a healthy initiative for the sake of ourselves and that of the future generations. Your message inspired me to take another swing at getting healthy. Thank you.
I never really looked at it that way. My family is taught that if it's on your plate that you better eat it. So even if I were full, I still have the mentality that I have to eat everything on my plate. I'm trying to break that because I'm trying to break down my gut lol. But you gave me some things to think about
I think you're taking the best possible (and healthiest) course of action. It's extremely important to accept yourself and your body but it's also important to treat yourself well. This blog is really inspirational--kudos for posting it.
I've realized that living healthy and eating smart isn't as difficult as many believe. This idea of "intuitive eating" that your friend told you about is golden. It's the key that will allow you to attain your weight goals. I've struggled with my weight ever since I can remember. I stumbled across this idea of intuitive eating after reading tons of articles on eating healthy and dieting. I personally dislike short-term/fad diets that are supposed to enable you to drop an unrealistic amount of weight in a short period of time. The key to beating the bulge is to reprogram the way you think about eating. Diets usually have "rules" that deprive you of the things you enjoy eating, which usually makes you feel inhibited and unhappy. When you are unhappy with your diet, you are more likely to discontinue it and log it as a failed attempt. Intuitive eating allows you to eat what you want and as you said connect your mind to your body. I've learned that I don't have to strave or deprive myself to feel satisfied. I've also learned there's a difference between being full and stuffed. You are heading in the right direction and if you think with it, I think you'll be just as satisfied as you imagine.
A disciplined mind brings happiness.-Buddha
So I was talking with one of our bariatric surgeons and our psychologist today about this, and I described "intuitive eating." The surgeon looked at me and said, "Don't tell our patients that, we'll go out of business!" He was joking of course, but it made me wonder. It seems to me that there is very little media attention to this kind of thinking/eating. Everywhere I look, whether it's my junk email or magazines, I see endless ads for new potions and pills promising weight loss. Acai berry juice and a new Chinese tea that interferes with intestinal absorption of fat (which causes fatty stool aka steatorrhea) seem to be the latest. Don't get me wrong, I think there are benefits to some natural herbal supplements, but I object to this kind of advertising.
I took nutrition classes. I've read all kinds of diet books. I get sick of magazine covers that boast things like "Lose 25 lbs by Christmas" or celebrity diets, "How Oprah lost 50lbs," that kind of thing. The only magic behind lasting weight loss is a healthy attitude, a strong mind/body connection and determination. In my own life I have lost substantial weight by different means. Before it was off the market I tried an herbal formula I bought at GNC. It contained ephedrine, which is very similar chemically to methamphetamine. I didn't know much about it then, I thought it was herbal, and therefore safe. Until I passed out at school and realized my blood pressure was 198/101. I had lost 25 pounds on the stuff, and quickly gained it all back once I stopped.
My next such attempt was with the Atkins diet. I was eating all kinds of fatty foods and losing weight, along with my hair. I didn't know it, but ketoacidosis, the metabolic state induced by a low carbohydrate diet that causes weight loss, also changes a body's hormones. Hair loss is very common. My hair became very brittle. It felt like straw, and would come out in fistfuls in the shower. Once I stopped this diet, I also gained all my weight back. As I said in my original blog, the only time I have really sustained a healthy weight using healthy methods was when I combined "intuitive eating" with exercise.
I wish that there was more emphasis on this idea in the media. Instead of publishing or promoting new fad diets, pills and potions. I wish there was more media education and support for the idea of achieving health by tapping into the mind/body connection. This approach actually enables people to achieve health, rather than encouraging a person to become dependent on a substance or diet that brings negative side effects along with temporary weight loss. I wonder if it isn't a matter of the mass media actually promoting unhealthy living and feeding into people's negative self images in order to keep an ultimately self debasing population of consumers who will spend billions of dollars on placebos for low self esteem.
By selling a product or diet that doesn't address the mind/body element, that product or diet will provide a temporary "immediate gratification," but will not provide sustainable results. Therefore the person will gain back any weight loss, and maybe even some new weight. Therefore, what these diets and products actually do is create a cyclic dependency on such diets and products as well as promote lifetime obesity.
Every single patient I see for bariatric surgery has had a minimum of four failed attempts at weight loss. They have all lost weight with these attempts, and have gained back the lost weight plus some. This is a consistent pattern with obese people.
I wish that the media was held accountable, and forced to perform studies on long term success along with their promoted diets, pills and potions. I wish that before such a thing could be advertised it would be required to prove that it can produce sustainable weight loss and health for two years or more without negative side effects. If the FDA controls food labels, why shouldn't they also control weight loss programs and their claims?
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
And people on Atkins are stinky. The kidneys release some kind of chemical or something and it makes the breath and sweat smell sour. It's so gross. You can always tell when someone is on Atkins.
My vet was doing it for a while last year (I assume...I didn't ask, but the smell was unmistakable) and I couldn't stand being stuck in the exam room with him for those few months (my dog was very sick at the time). I came back a few months later and he'd gained all the weight back, but he didn't stink anymore.
"Never go with a hippy to a second location."
~Jack Donaghy
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
That smell is called "fruity breath". It is the same smell that diabetics have who are in metabolic acidosis. It is the result of the body burning off it's own tissue. It is definitely a sign of "ill health", or disease, if you will.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
Depends on how I look at it. I have practiced waiting to eat until I am hungry and stopping when I'm full. Amazing! I don't need nearly the amount of food I am used to consuming.
I have slipped backwards though. I spent the weekend at home, which is rare because I usually work Sundays and the past 3 Saturdays I've had something big going on outside the house.
So this weekend I have been with family. On Saturday we went to Disneyland, I wanted real breakfast, bacon and eggs, you know, protein. Everyone was done with breakfast so we settled for pastries and coffee. I had a banana and a croissant.
Around 4pm I had a small tuna sandwich. My husband was sick and sleeping. i fed the baby her tofu and yogurt, which she didn't eat much of. Around six my husband woke up and asked me to go to El Pollo Loco. I went, and bought his tostada salad and a 7 pc order of chicken thighs and legs for the baby and anyone else who wanted some. My parents will eat off of my child's plate if it looks appetizing and they don't have their own.
i prepped the chicken for Elia, taking off the bone and removing tendons and fat. In the process I ate 3 drumsticks, even though I wasn't hungry. It was really good, but I definitely didn't need it. My baby also ate 3 pieces of chicken.
Later, after I put her to bed, I got some water and saw the buckets of left over halloween candy. I dug out 3 individually wrapped Reese's peanut butter cups and ate them.
Sunday wasn't any better. My husband, baby and I went out for breakfast (this time bacon and eggs) around 10:30. We got home to find my parents were having a brunch for their church friends. I didn't eat anything then, but later when I did get hungry I ate 3 peices of french toast and some strawberries. My husband and I went to LA in the evening to see Ray LaMontagne at the the Wiltern. He was hungry and wanted to go across the street to McDonald's. Ralphs was right next to us, so I convinced him to go to Ralph's to get sandwiches.
In addition to his sandwich, he asked for a Coke and Doritos. I asked him, "Why?" He smiled and turned his head. I pointed out that we need to save money and stop eating badly. I asked him to consider his level of unnecessary consumption along with me.
A great thing about our relationship is that we look to each other for help to improve instead of blaming and reprimanding each other for our negative behavior.
Today is Monday, I'm back at work, and did better, but I still attacked the halloween candy when I got home.
It's not so much about the amount of food I consume. Even in my weak moments, the fact that I was making a mental note and staying conscious of my behavior curbed my behavior. It's about being responsive to my body and eating when I need to, and not eating when I don't need to.
Conclusion:
I can tune in to my body and know it's needs and limits.
I have the option to refuse food that is in excess of my needs.
I have a very difficult time disciplining myself to say no to food that is in excess of my needs. It requires a conscious commitment. Because I hate to hurt people's feelings, it is difficult to refuse food offered by my family, who feels offended and insulted when I do so.
I can do the "tune in" thing, but it's hard to stay faithful to my body's needs when other people's schedules, needs and desires conflict.
I also have a very hard time saying "no" to things like halloween candy *after* I have already crossed the line.
It's hard to align my body's needs with the needs of my family. This is really the core issue i think I need to address.
I know that exercise feels good and is good for me. I don't do it regularly because I feel it is time that my daughter deserves more than my body does.
I know how to eat right. It's hard to stick to an individual eating plan while making sure the family gets fed well when everyone is on a different schedule.
This is really about finding balance. This blog only addresses one element of me that needs to balance out. I think that this issue is also at the core of my other imbalances.
Is not the physical body the most immediate, definite and tangible part of ourselves? How can I balance any other part of myself until I have balanced this one?
BTW, I haven't lost or gained any weight since I started this blog.
"Consistency is not a human trait" - Maude, from Harold and Maude
I will just say don't totally limit all of your sweets because that will just cause you to binge on them. I think a few reeses will be ok. I have lost 8 lbs and I started a rountine where I don't eat past 7 at night and it has worked pretty well for me.
At least you haven't gained any weight since you wrote the blog. That is a plus. I think you will get it, but as we both know this will take time.
I think your doing good so far.
Come to the darkside....we have cookies ;)
http://www.progressiveu.org/043043-mom-i-can-finally-write-you-letter