Have you ever heard the saying live your life for others god will do the rest? Yea well I have been living by this almost my entire life but I dont see any doing by god. I am in the thought that I was put on this earth to do one thing and that is to make a change in peoples lives. So therefore I live my life for others. I have went above and beyond to make sure that not one frown is upon your face or make sure you have friends to eat with at lunch the list goes on. with making all these changes you would think that this thing called "Karma" would give me a break and let me be happy for once. I love life and all and Im not here to complain just to vent and get feedback from the ones who share this problem with me. To make a change you get close to these people you let your guards down and you let them in. Once I do this it hurts to let go, and this is the problem. The curse that has been following me. Once I have someone I care about in my life they always leave. ALWAYS. you think I would learn but I dont. Im still naive enough to think I can change people.
As you can see my week has been tough. I lost one of the most important person to me. He refuses to be friends with me. whats new. Iet me give you a little background on what I did for him. lets make a long story short. He was into a lot of bad things and I put all my energy time and money into getting him out of it. in the process I fell in love with him. I gave that kid the world and back and all he did was put me through hell. He tore my self esteem down not caring what destructive thing he did to me. I know he sounds like a bad friend but he wasent always like that. He was my best friend and I miss him.
Basically the moral of my rant is that no matter how much I try to do good, yes I make other peoples lifes nice and happy but when will I get to make my happy ending.....
I am sorry you are not feeling great. One thing about loving someone is the ability to let them go when they want to be let go. Your efforts were not in vain, perhaps they were not beneficial to you, but you did help someone, and that in itself is good enough even if they don't relize it.
Good things will come too you eventually. right now just focus on the lovely little things in life like sunsets, fresh coffee, and good books.
Good Luck
thank you sooo much! I needed a positive uplifting person to remind me that no matter if they dont notice, I made a difference. and maybe just maybe they will realize it one day...
and I love coffee! lol
I know how you feel. Maybe what'll do you some good is trying to live your life more for you and a little less for others. I spent most of my life doing nothing but trying to make everyone around me happy, and in the end, it all backfired on me. I came to realize that I didn't have a strong enough sense of self, and that without someone to help, I was lost. So I started doing more things for myself. I still try to help people, but I make sure I devote time to myself every day. Doing that has been a turning point for me. The universe is still out to get me, but I'm finding myself happier nonetheless. Heck, I may have just lost the one person who meant more to me than anything else, the only one who could, simply by taking the time to talk to me, make me feel genuinely good about myself, but... I'm okay. I'm okay and handling it better than I thought I would, because I took time off from trying to change the world and focused on myself. I'm strong enough now to accept that the people I care about most are those who are most likely to hurt me, and I can let him go because I want him to be happy, and I know I can handle being on my own now.
And, on a completely separate note... (forgive me, but my brain is on hyperdrive right now...)
As a Christian, I can assert that God won't make things better, but if you ask for strength to get through and deal with things, He'll give it to you. (I've been doing a heck of a lot of praying tonight...)
And as a student taking a course on Buddhism, I can assert that karma literally means action, and in the true sense of the word, it only effects where you end up in your next life. Doing good doesn't mean good will happen to you... but it does mean you'll be able to be a little happier with yourself.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
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Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!!!