I know I'm probably not alone in saying this - I'm nearly seventeen years old, and I've never had a boyfriend. There are tons of people who have never had a romantic relationship.
Now, consider this. How many people who have never had such a relationship, don't want one at all? Or at least, not yet.
The crowd just got thinner. All I hear about these days is Julia is dating Rob, but Rob likes Linda, but Linda has a crush on Tom, who's really interested in Julia...or the, "OMG, HE'S dating HER?". Yeah. That.
I understand - new relationships are exciting and awkward, and teenage relationships are intense and confusing. I'm not against them, really. But I just have to say one thing to my peers.
Please, stop whining. It's really annoying.
Part of the drama of the teen dating scene is that one person doesn't understand the other person's needs, wants, feelings, blah blah blah. My question to the "neglected" party: do you know what you want?
In adolescence, there is so much chaos. You're trying to establish an identity for yourself, understand what you want from life and who you are, and then hormones complicate things.
It's not wrong to have romantic interests or feelings for others. It's perfectly healthy, at that.
What I've always thought, though, is that in order to have a decent relationship shouldn't you kind of be able to understand yourself, to an extent?
I can't handle a relationship at my age - I barely understand myself. How could I manage to make another person happy if it's something I can barely achieve?
Any thoughts? Please share!
Regards,
Kanika
Oh girl, I totally agree with you. Although I've had various relationships and several long term ones, and I've only just realized what you're already saying. The truth is, although I've "dated" all of these boys, I've kind of always been alone in the relationships. The relationships were all composed of infatuation and ambiguous expectations, as I was unsure of who I was and what I wanted. I'm 17 1/2 years old, had many boyfriends, and am (quite) sexually experienced, and I feel like I've never had a REAL boyfriend. That is, one that was able to satisfy me emotionally or intellectually. And how is it possible for a person to find something satisfying without knowing themselves?? But depending on who you are, experimenting with dating can actually help you figure it out. In my past, dating has been both an eye-opening, but at points very SIDETRACKING experience. Also, maybe you didn't mean it this way in your last paragraph, but one thing I have learned is you are NEVER responsible for the happiness of your partner. You have responsibility to the relationship, but they find their own happiness.
I'm almost 18 and have never been in a relationship. A lot has gone into this decision, the fact that my life is already a blur, and I really don't have time to date is a major factor. People ask me if I'm lonely this way. My answer is yes, but in high school, relationships are very rarely "real" and I don't have time to put in the effort required to make a relationship work.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.