umm..

i don't really know what to write about on here, and knowing that none of you know me personally, i'll say anything that's on my mind. i'm 17 years old; a senior, and i have almost no problems at all.. one thing that has been bothering me though, is that my boyfriend of 4 years is getting very controlling of me. he's not hitting me or anything like that, but he's just acting weird. he doesnt let me go out that much. and when i do, he gets mad at me, and accuses me of cheating. i'll admit, i've cheated on him once, and he knows about it, and it was only a kiss; i guess i can understand. but that was when we first met, about a month or two into our relationship. i haven't done it since and i never will, but he doesnt seem to get it. i've been trying my hardest to be a good girlfriend. i don't go out, i've stopped drinking and smoking [which is one of the positives about our relationship], and i've even stopped talking to boys. his insecurity has driven me, honestly, to the brink of insanity. i dont know what to do about him anymore, so now that there are rules for me, i've given him the same ones. he isnt allowed to talk to girls, party, drink, smoke, or hang out with his friends. it's cute being just us, but i feel like it's taking a toll on our tempers and feelings towards eachother. now that there are "rules" there's the constant "check-up" to see if either one of us has broken them. i dont know, i think it's just me facing this problem, and i hope it is. i dont want things to change between me and him, but i know if i do, he'll start accusing me more and more.