I have two names - my school name and my home name. kuh-NEE-kuh is my school name and KUH-nee-kuh is my home name (both spelled Kanika). With each name is a different identity.
My family immigrated from India before I was born; to keep me connected to my roots, naturally, they named me Kanika. I was raised introducing myself as KUH-nee-kuh. When I started kindergarten, it was difficult for students and teachers to pronounce it, hence kuh-NEE-kuh was born. I was never able to switch to my "real" name - I've attended the same school since kindergarten.
I suppose with each alias comes a different identity. At home, I'm the baby of the family. I'm silly and zany, somewhat irresponsible and messy. I'm the "creative one" while my sister is the "athletic one" - which doesn't make any sense, seeing that along with music and writing, I'm captain of the fencing team and my sister, while highly skilled in volleyball and lacrosse, draws and paints amazingly well. But I digress.
At school, I am Miss Reliable. I'm taken far too seriously and thought of as a know-it-all. I'm quiet and soft spoken, but I hold many leadership positions. I love debating - I'm on the debate team and a member of JSA.
What I don't understand is this - how did two Kanika's turn up? Did my name truly affect the way I act?
I never thought it did. But I was cleary wrong. My own relatives see me as an American; my sister came here when she was 3 months old, but the fact that she was born in India still makes her Indian in their eyes. Occasionally, my parents call me "American" or ku-NEE-kuh, or whatever. I tell them I don't like it - when they don't listen, I get upset. They think I'm too sensitive, and who knows? Maybe I am.
This summer though, I went to a summer program in Oxford. When I introduced myself, I used KUH-nee-kuh instead of kuh-NEE-kuh. I felt...comfortable. And I saw that I didn't need to compromise my identity to make friends.
Here's the thing - I am TIRED of having two personas. I wish I could just be KUH-nee-kuh. But it's too impossible for me to start now...
...or is it? This year, I'm taking a Spanish Internship class where we learn to teach younger kids Spanish. There are a few juniors in the class with me, including a boy who happens to be Indian. I never knew him too well until now, but he probably knew me as kuh-NEE-kuh. Today, I put my stuff down on a desk, and I suddenly heard, "KUH-nee-kuh!" It freaked me out, it was so out of place. There he was, asking me for a piece of paper. Maybe there's hope for KUH-nee-kuh yet.
Do you have a story similar to mine? Comments or questions? Let me know!
Regards,
KUH-nee-kuh (Kanika)
Hi Kanika,
The second paragraph of your blog caught my attention. To be brief, an Indian name usually has Sanskrit base. Kanika, as I read it , means an atom, a speck in the cosmic scheme of things and beings. This is wonderful. It teaches U that U are interdependent upon every thing else. This reveals interconnectivity as well, wherein lies real freedom and meaning thereof.
All words /names are meaningful sounds, but all sounds are NOT words. In Indian Culture a name serves many a purpose. It helps the individual to identify with human values and be human.
Be proud that U are Kanika.
Wishes. :dances:
Welcome 'KUH-nee-kuh' I am glad I am not the only one that has issue with names. STand up for yours and people will eventually, if not immediately, call you right.
My problem was diffrent in that people never believe me when I correct them in how to say my name. It also seems taht once a person says it wrong its very hard and confusing for them to call me right. I just ignore them till they say it right, or correct them if they are having trouble.
Amazing insight. Good luck.
Love is like a box of chocolates; if you chose wisely you won’t be disappointed and have to spit it out. ~T