Why do people always think anyone who has been admitted to metal facility is crazy? Just because they have been admitted to a hospital other than a regular hospital doesn’t mean they are crazy.
At the age of sixteen, I started shutting down. I didn’t notice the change until I sent sent to the doctor because my family couldn’t take it anymore and my school was noticing a huge change in me. I didn’t care about anything anymore, not school, sports (which I loved), friends, eating or family. My day consisted of going to school, coming home, taking a shower and going straight to sleep. I didn’t want to talk, I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t even want to be exposed to light. I always looked at it as just me growing up, but it was so much more than that.
Finally, I was taken to my regular doctor where she immediately sent me to the hospital. I freaked out because I didn’t know what was going on. She said she was going to give them a call to let them know I was coming. I was fine with that until she told me o stop by my home and pack a few articles of clothing, due to they would be running some test on me and it may take a few days. WOW! Was I scared?
When I got to the hospital, I thought I would be in a regular hospital room, but once again, I didn’t know what was going on. They locked me be hind two huge doors with some other kids my age and gave me a bed and some blankets. The original plan that my sister would stay with me in the hospital didn’t go over so well.
Next thing I know, people were checking on me every ten seconds, asking me too many questions about my life and my feelings. They then gave me some medicine that I was told I needed to take everyday and I was told that I had a bi-polar disorder and that I had clinical depression! Yahhh me! (sike)
I was on different medicines; some made me feel better others made me more upset. Due to the effects the medicine had on everything, and me I ended up going in and out of the hospital five times in two years. I WASN’T CRAZY THOUGH! I just went through a lot of stuff that most couldn’t relate to and I didn’t know anyway better to handle my feelings. I ended up homebound with a teacher who came to me, until the last month of my senior year. I was always in and out of the doctor for therapy or to get my medicine levels checked.
At time I felt like killing myself, to get out of it, so I wouldn’t have to worry about any of it anymore. Just because some one tells you, “Oh, I’ve thought about killing myself before,” doesn’t mean they are crazy. So before you judge them, make sure you know they’re whole story..even if it is your BEST FRIEND!
My point to all this is, why are we so quick to judge? Telling someone they belong in the “nut house” as they say, isn’t a really funny joke, because you never know who may have been in the hospital for something they couldn’t control. Today the doctor still diagnoses me with the same thing, however, everyone I come in contact with never can tell that I have a chemical imbalance. Suicide rates are getting Very high! And we need to stop it, and help everyone we can, even if it is putting them in a hospital for a while.
Although my depression, or depression-like thoughts and actions never reached the level yours seems to have done, I struggled through depression for a few years. I was always quiet, never voiced my opinion, and just wasn't myself at all. I believe that I was clinically depressed. I eventually worked my way out of it with the loving support of a few great friends, but those days still haunt me. I felt like nobody could understand me, and I thought about suicide. I thought that would make things soo much easier. Now, I'm extremely glad that I didn't take that option out. My life is going much better, and I recognize the signs, and can avoid most of my serious depression times now. I will be praying for you through all of this, and I completely agree with your statements. Not everybody goes to the hospital because they're crazy, some go because they need help.
It's great to find someone who can relate. I am now 18 yrs. old, and even though its not bad as it was, it's still there. i am getting a little better in realizing the signs but not that much better. When something is bothering me and I dont even notice it, I get really quiet, and i dont want to be bothered. Also i get aches and pains everywhere and the doctor can never find anything wrong. Some may think people say they want to kill theirselves for the attention, but thats completly not true. Yes, i do believe you may catch one here or there that claims that because they want attention but majority is the total opposite. I dont have much support with my depression, so I am hoping to find some who are going through the same thing, or has been through the same thing in their life. Now that I've turned eighteen and I am on my own, I cant afford going to the doctor or getting treatment in the hospital.....therefore i try to battle as much as I can out by myself.
Trying to battle it out on your own is very brave. I'd really suggest that you try to find some friends who will love and support you through it though. It helps soo much! Honestly, I don't know if I would've made it without them. I agree, suicide is not normally for attention, it is to relieve the pain. If you ever need anything, let me know!
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What state do you live in? In California, kids can stay on their parents health insurance plans until they are 25 if they are in school.
If you don't go to school because of your depression, try to do online studies.
Also, you have had these problems for awhile, and have been being treated, so your doctor or doctors who know you can put you on disability, at least that way you can get the medical help you need.
I would worry about you not having medical support. Do everything you can to find out about what kind of help you can get.
Check out NAMI, the National Association for the Mentally Ill. I'm sure they can hook you up.
I want to say too, though, that even though I am a mental health professional, I don't think that these kinds of things are cured by medical treatment, or that medical treatment is enough. But I do think in your case, it is necessary, especially if you have been on medications that have helped. If you stop your meds, you risk a life threatening situation.
What you are doing here is really good, finding a way to express yourself, looking for support. Please, you can email me privately any time if you need help and you don't feel safe here.
Support is so important. If you haven't yet, read the post Memoirs of Dani, she started a blog about her experience with depression. She really seems like a truly caring person, and she may have insights that you don't.
If you have the strength force yourself to go out, find a support group, or just look online for social activities in your area.
Isolation is a breeding ground for depression.
See if you can't get into volunteering, maybe as a mental health patient's rights advocate, or something like that. Helping others is a great way to break the hold of depression.
I really appreciate your feelings. You are so right. You have no idea how important what you just expressed is.
Not only is it wrong and mean for people who have no experience with mental illness to judge someone who does, it is also very important for people who do have severe symptoms to feel free to ask for help.
I have 9 years of experience working in a psychiatric hospital, much of that time with adolescents. I understand how scary it is for people to come in for the first time, and I am very sensitive to the fear of stigma that people have about it, especially adolescents.
I think the most important thing you have discovered for yourself, is that now you have sort of symptom gauge. You can normally cope with your depression, but there are times when it threatens to take total control of you. If you really have reached that point that you know what your limits are, and you know that things get really bad, even if you think about suicide, your action is to reach out for help, then you are well on your own road to recovery.
I would like to know more about how you feel about the hospital in general now, versus the first time you went. It sounds like you are somewhat comfortable with it now. I am just curious, because I would like to think that at a certain point, people can see it for the help it really does provide.
I always tell my patients, "There is no such thing as a wrong emotion, or a wrong thought. What matters is what you do."
I also tell them that the only difference between people in the hospital versus outside the hospital are how they react to things, it is not about how they think or feel.
I know kids get better when I see them actually stop, and think before they act or react. It is a really cool thing to witness.
In your case, it doesn't seem like you have a problem with impulse control though, your problems are manifest by your inaction. But still, obviously, when you have thought about suicide, you have chosen to do something else.
I commend you for your courage in moving forward in your life, and for your strength to get the help you need regardless of the stigma or the judgement that you have suffered.
Depression isn't a fun thing to go through at all. The first time I was in the hospital, my roomate was a girl who over dosed and took a whole bottle of tylenol. I didn't understand why she was my roommate. I felt like I was in the wrong place for no reason. Everyone seemed like they was on drugs and was going to kill their selves. At the time I thought people was crazy for wanting to commit suicide but later in my experience when I experienced the feelings, I realized how serious it was. I started having major anxiety attacks and I didn't focus in school well anymore. I had a friend who stayed by myside through majority of the time. However, right when I started getting Better, she turned on me because her boyfriend dosent like me. So now I am called crazy and told go back to the crazy house and do much more. It's tought me so much about who my true friends are. The thing is, no one really knew my story, at least not the whole thing because I was always too scared to speak on it all. I already had trust problems and now they're worse!
Depression is not crazy. You are not crazy. Crazy is when someone's thought process is no longer connected to reality.
I am sorry that you're friend ditched you for her boyfriend, but you're right, she probably wasn't really that great of a friend.
Of course it's hard to explain what you're going through to others. It's not surprising that you have trust issues.
I don't think that there is any one person out there that can "save" you. Friends are important, but when you're guarded like you are, and when you don't feel like they really know you, which they don't, because you're hiding, there isn't much they can do for you. In fact they can actually make you feel even more alone.
I think you might be better off looking for support groups. In a way, this is a support group. A support group is a group of people that are all trying to improve somehow, and they get together to support each other. If you can find a real support group near you, I think that would be best, but if you are too afraid to do it in person, online support groups are good too.
If you found a support group for people suffering from depression, the connections you make will be more meaningful, because you won't be hiding your real thoughts and feelings.
I found a great site when I was going through a really hard time, it wasn't really about depression, specifically, it's called Really Starting Over. Basically a chat room filled with people who are trying to start over in their lives. Many of them were recovering from a break-up or being cheated on.
It doesn't really matter what kind of a support group you find, it matters that you find a place with other people where you feel safe to be and express yourself.
One thing I do know, you can't beat your disease alone. You can get by, you can survive, but if you really want to try to find joy in living, you have to look outside of yourself.
I get fustrated really quickly as well as iritated, is that part of my depression as well?
Depression definitely doesn't mean you are crazy, unless you are soo depress that you start to becoming pyschotic which happens. It just mean that you might need some extra help in coping with some things. i have family members and friends that are and were in the hospital, but i dont consider them crazy.
I can relate. I've attempted suicide more than once, but I kept it covered up very well. I've never been admitted because of this. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad, but my mom has been admitted for depression, and I'm not sure it really helped her.
Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
I do believe that people who are admitted to a mental or behavioral health unit or facility do have some kind of mental health disorder.
Crazy is such an outdated term with incredibly negative connotations. Perhaps this is why people don't seek help when they need it.
No one should ever feel bad or embarrassed or ashamed or weak or whatever for seeking treatment they need.
"What a crazy random happenstance!"
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**it submitted an empty one**I hope you get better at learning to fight back at the bipolar & clinical depression. Its one day at a time kind of thing and the medications I have learn personally are only there to a certain extent you also need therapy sessions, lots counseling, and maybe just support groups. I keep fighting and Im still learning ... Dont worry if people are ignorant . It happens. Be Strong !!! Time will tell .. but please do not depend only on meds !!! Especially given that you have both bipolar & clinical depression.
xpeace&lovex