I've been thinking quite a bit recently about how quickly people draw conclusions based on appearance. For example, I was born with a cleft lip and palate, which causes me to have a hard time hearing and speaking right and also makes my face look funny. When I was a newborn (before surgery), my mom took me when she went shopping at our local grocery store. One of those annoying people who stands outside the door trying to sell stuff was there, selling pictures of kids to their parents. Predictably, he started approaching my mom (and me), but upon seeing my face immediately turned the other way. I have to ask, does having a scarred face and misshaped nose make me any less human? Does it mean my parents shouldn't love me as much as they should love my "normal" brother?
The sad thing is that this sort of thing happens every day, and society turns the other cheek, until it happens to them. It causes such pain to know the first thing people notice about me is not my deep empathy and compassion for my fellow man, nor my colorful personality. People notice my imperfections, my short comings, and my scars. I've been called "Clefty" and people have had fun mouthing words at me because they know my hearing is compromised. I face these cruelties everyday, and I think everyone else probably does to. But why? Why should we subject each-other to the torment?
Prejudices are unavoidable within our society. Unfortunately, many people believe that it's just a normal part of life. They refuse to see that, were they in the position of the person they are making fun of, they'd be extremely hurt by what was happening. I'm not sure what the best way to deal with these prejudices are, but I feel that, sadly, they are not going to be disappearing anytime soon. We use appearances to make generalizations about people. Withink 5-10 seconds of seeing someone, we already have a mental image of what that person must be like because of how they appear. Unfortunately, this leads to many people being miscategorized, and forced to believe that they are insignificant, or a lesser person. However, that is not true.
It is in human nature to find flaws. Everyone has different characteristics and experiences in their lives that can change the way that others can see them. I am honestly sad to know that someone has treated you so lowly. My own friend had a cleft pallet when he was younger, but I never made a comment on his appearance until after I got to know him more. I am glad that I am able to read your blogs, because you seem to be more than just a philanthropist, you are one.
I read a fantastic essay recently by David Sedaris in which he illustrates how people seem compelled to draw lines between "us" and "them". I think that it makes a person feel good to be able to think that they are in some way "better" than someone else. Maybe it's a way to avoid having to deal with their own insecurities. And although that may seem an utterly ridiculous behavior, it's EVERYWHERE! So it could be something that society has invented, but I have to wonder- might it be mapped into or DNA? Something that we naturally do in order to weed out characteristics that are deemed undesirable? Perhaps it's a mixture of both, where it's practiced in all or most societies, but what is considered an "undesirable characteristics" varies.