There is hope for you if you suffer depression. It does not come in a pill bottle, drugs, cutting, or suicide. It comes from deep within. As stupid as that sounds it really works. Sure you will have your shares of ups and downs battling this demon alone, but if you haven't had any luck on depression medication or any other method than maybe you should consider something deeper.
I have suffered from depression for about 9 years now. I have attempted suicide a few times (apparently unsuccessfully) but I guess what I have to accomplish in my life is not yet finished since I am still here to type this blog and many more to come. Of course people like to get smart and say "Well why didn't you die you are weak then if you couldn't successfully kill yourself?" I found this offensive and some what disturbing.
With that mess out of the way I hope I can give one person maybe some kind of way to cope with it. Some days are worse than others, some days are ok, and others are great. Recently days have been very bad. I long for my mom to walk through that door and make everything ok again, or I will rant out loud asking her why did she have to go because I would rather have her right now than my dad. Times get crappy, but that doesn't mean they will always be that way.
One must realize that they have some sort of purpose in this world ( this has nothing to do with religion by the way) and this is my own belief. To take that purpose away you will never truly know what could have happened if you would have stayed. You could have changed the world, changed a person's life, or even reached the highest level of Maslow's Hierachy self-actualization.
You must first motivate yourself. That sounds very hard for a depressed person right? Well it is very hard, but something you must do if you want to enjoy life again. After I motivated myself I figured out that I have missed so much by being depressed when I could have set that aside and enjoyed spending time with a person, or something else. I had actually wasted years hoping it would get better as the years passed instead of doing something about it.
Once you gain motivation try forcing yourself to do something you used to love before you were in a slump or try something new. I did it and realized hey this is pretty cool I feel happier. At first it takes alot of effort, because you just don't want to, but you can't sit and watch yourself crumble you will not get anywhere.
Try to figure out the reason you are depressed. Some reasons are apparent like a loss of a loved one, losing your job, or a combination of everything. Sometimes you just might be depressed for a reason you don't know, so try to dig deeper and see what the underlying problem is. It is normal to be depressed after you lose a loved one, but you must realize after awhile being depressed will not bring them back. If you lost your job try to motivate yourself to find another one it is devastating being unemployed, but being depressed will also not get you another job. I have been depressed before about my weight and image. That is something you can change. Start exercising and more than likely you will feel happier. You will be losing weight and the exercise can ease your stress and depression in general.
Talk to people about it. Talking to people who care who understand being depressed can help you. Sometimes just the fact you told them you are feeling down can make you feel better. If you aren't close with alot of people than blog like I am doing right now or find something that will listen. Your journal or a piece of paper will listen and also not say anything back, but getting it out should make you feel some what better. You can also consult a psychologist (it didn't help me, but it can help you).
Any of these can help you and your depression, they don't always work, but after coping with it for 9 years I realized something had to give. You don't want to look back on your life and see a depressed person who just didn't care. Now that I wrote this this advice sounds very silly, but maybe it could help someone.
Great blog! I can identify with you on almost every single thing you said. The day I woke up was after I had written a paper sort of reflecting the last years of my grandma's life and my own depression...I just wrote and wrote and eventually it hit me that she would have done anything to live one more day and here I was wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. I'd never felt so selfish in my life, and I realized I had to do something about it. That paper became my motivation to live and not let life pass me by anymore.
The hardest thing is that no one really thinks that anyone else understands what they are going through, and it's hard to even vocalize what you're going through. I, too, hope that people read your blog and see things in a new perspective.
k
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I totally understand this. And you totally deserve a hug for posting such a wonderful blog with advice that really works.
For me, my purpose in life did come hand in hand with religion, but that's a whole other story. And you're right that it doesn't need to have anything to do with religion. Someone could find their purpose in writing, in helping others, in art... in anything, really. And the hardest part is indeed convincing yourself that you do have a purpose.
Also, i discovered this past weekend just what picking up an old pastime can do for you. I'd managed to lose my concept of self and had had my reality shattered, and, on a whim, invited a friend over to my dorm to play some NES with me. And it was magic. It took me back to the days when things made more sense, I was secure and comfortable with who I was, and life was less stressful and more inspirational. And, lo and behold, I woke up Sunday morning feeling like myself again for the first time since this time last year. It really is just absolutely wonderful to take up an old pastime. ^-^
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
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Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!!!
Depression has many degrees. For some, depression is a consistent day to day state of being.
For others, it hits hard and fast when a loss is experienced.
Some people are prone to depression, but aren't always depressed, and are able to have great joy in life in between bouts of depression. Things like the weather affect people's moods, and we don't always know why we're depressed.
Personally I have experienced all of these. I know what living every day depressed feels like, and it sucks.
Both you and Dani touch on lot of good ways to cope with depression, but for me the thing that really helped me to crawl out of my hole, was getting up, getting out, and looking for things I could do to help others.
Seriously, if you really want to combat depression, volunteer at a battered women's shelter, or a soup kitchen. Try being a Big Brother or Big Sister. There is so much suffering in the world, I had my own epiphany one day. I literally kicked myself in the ass and told myself that sitting around moping anymore wasn't an option. Try to find an opportunity in every single day to reach out to someone who is struggling, even if its just a neighbor, or a friend.
It works because it will distract you from what you're feeling, it will help you to see that your life isn't all that terrible, but most importantly, it will help you to connect with others.
Isolation and loneliness is the most painful part of depression. By reaching out to others in need, you close that gap between you and the rest of the world.
I wish you well.
I had a good friend who pulled me out of it, first I tried throughout the use of medication, but the side effects were too much.
It gave me rash, I’m not sure if this is the right word but my skin became red on my arms and hands while very itchy.
I was depressed over a period of six months, lost my job because of it, I could not even send one single stupid e-mail, took me half an hour to write one.
Had to move back in with my parents, from one day upon another I changed my habits and daily routine, which was not easy, because of a friend, I went online and searched for a job which wasn’t easy regarding my situation.
My self-esteem was low, like down the drain, but I somehow forced myself to deal with that.
I got myself a job as a tourist representative upon the island of Crete.
Selling excursions and picking up tourists at the airport, the whole change of scenery, and activities which included this job made it to deal with it.
Stupid as it might sound, some fine day within the first month, I found myself waking up in the morning feeling ok, like happy again, that realization even scared me for a brief moment of time.
I believe social contacts are extremely helpful in order to deal with depression.
To work closely with other people tends to make things to become more positive!
In my case it did, I feel sorry for all those who suffer from depression, it sucks, but there is always a way out!
Change of habits is one which worked for me...
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You never fail when it comes to writing good, interesting, useful blogs! Keep up the great work!
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I thought you went away I hadn't seen you on here in awhile. I'm glad your back. Thanks for the compliment and you write great a well. It is my mission to help people and I believe I can try to do this through writing blogs.
Sorry to disappoint you, but I am voting for Lewis Black.
DrifterDani~
Something that Turtlesuds posted is key. The trick might just be to help other people. It is a lot more difficult to be depressed when you feel useful and needed. Dani posted her blog on depression because she was hoping to help "at least one person cope," and without intending to, helped herself a little further on her journey to happiness. Isn't it ironic that the people who are depressed are usually the most caring? It's brave to let emotions in, and unfortunately they sometimes hurt, especially when you care.
You're completely right about finding a purpose. That was my problem: I tried to figure out religion and what my God-given purpose was, but I kept wondering why on Earth God would create me at all. It's very hard to depend on religion. I finally just had to give myself my own purpose: to enjoy the world. I love the sunset.
Have you ever just laughed? Just looked at how pathetic depression is and then laughed? My turning point was when my best friend--the friend who had guided me through my entire depression and knew more about me than my psychologist--stopped talking to me. I love laughing.
Thanks for writing this. Depression is such a touchy subject, so kudos to you for bringing it up.
Great blog Dani. Heartfelt and helpful, I think.
It pains me to think someone could become so depressed and unhappy with their life that they'd want to commit suicide, and it seems all too common in this day and age for young people to do this drastic act. Anyway, I'm glad you're still around to share your side of things and to make your own difference in the world. Ignore those people who said you were weak. I think it takes an incredible reserve of strength to come back from all that, or even to be able to talk about it here.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
I have suffered from depression, not quite as long as you, for a long time. And even in my darkest hour I have always found that the only thing that can keep me going is myself. Numerous times I have considered suicide, but every time I decide that I am worthless, I realize that I have to make myself worth something to myself. I am the only person I have to prove anything to. I have never taken pills or seen a therapist because I have always been able to overcome my feelings of worthlessness by forcing myself to do things. And while I have not found complete happiness I still have the will to live.
But when I try to tell people that they live for themselves they discount my battle with depression. They think because I've never actually tried to commit suicide that I'm not depressed enough to know how to stop the pain. It's so frustrating.
I have come to realize that if the people around me don't accept me, then there are so many more people in the world that someone has to want me. And if no one does, then that's too bad, I'll make them suffer by continuing to exist.
I'm so very happy that you realize depression can be conquered!
Great blog, btw.
I have come to realize that if the people around me don't accept me, then there are so many more people in the world that someone has to want me. And if no one does, then that's too bad, I'll make them suffer by continuing to exist.
I love you for that. That is the same stubborn attitude I tend to take when in feels like the universe is out to get me. I'm not going anywhere, so the universe will just have to deal with it. ^-^
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
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Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!!!
There is definitely something to be said for the power of the human will. I appreciate anyone who suffers from depression who knows how to battle it. To me, you are a testament to the strength of the human will.
Emotions are such a powerful driving force. Intense emotions can lead to rash, drastic, dangerous, and permanent damage if unchecked.
Anyone who has suffered from depression to the point of imagining suicide has, in my opinion, hit a peak of intensity of emotion that not everyone can withstand. I realize though, that sometimes the overriding emotion once the thought of suicide appears is more often a quiet hopelessness, an emptiness, and tiredness. Suicide seems like a welcome relief.
I also think that there is a time and a place for medical treatment. I think that sadly, some of the most depressed people are anti-medicine, yet people who are just "not happy" because they have made bad choices or are too selfish overmedicate themselves and their children with antidepressants and benzodiazapenes.
However, there is a point when someone should seek medical help. It's not necessarily when a person thinks about suicide, but when a person can't stop thinking about it. When a person simply isn't stimulated any more, when existence becomes too painful to keep doing it. When someone is hopeless and helpless, totally alone. When someone, while having this despair can't even think of anyone they can call or talk to. When isolation has encompassed the soul.
Medication is more than a band-aid, it can be a bridge to survival. It can keep someone alive long enough to start to remember a time when they experienced happiness, and to have the energy to try to recreate that.
People operate on different levels all of the time. Physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Depression is manifest in all of those aspects. Once Depression has deepened to the physical level, manifest by severe sleep disturbance, lack of hygiene, anorexia, vegetation, the only way sometimes (outside of divine intervention) is with medical assistance. Sadly, people who get this far will not very likely break out of it to reach out and ask for help, which is why they either do commit suicide, or someone who cares about them seeks help for them.
It is important for anyone who suffers with depression, especially if they have ever considered suicide to have an emergency action plan, a list of steps they commit to following before every attempting to hurt themselves. A phone list, with several emergency contacts, preferably friends or family members. If someone really has no immediate contact, look for resources you can trust. Look for online support groups, if you feel you can't show your face at a meeting.
For anyone who suffers from any sign of mental illness, including depression, check out NAMI, the National Association for the Mentally Ill. They can give all kinds of resources, not just medical resources.
For anyone who has considered, or who has agreed, or who has been forced to go through medical treatment, please give it a chance. It can save your life when nothing else can. There are always side effects of medication, but you have to consider the severity of the alternative. And you don't necessarily have to be on medication forever, it can be a bridge back to mental health, by allowing you physical relief from depression, while you give your heart, mind and soul a chance to fight for themselves.
I feel as if I can really relate to your blog, since I too went to some sort of degree with that kind of stage in my life and the funny thing is that I dealt with my issue with the same kind of approach you did...so it made me very happy to know that I wasn't the only person trying to fight her own monsters by the same method :]
It's not silly at all. I suffer from depression...and many times i would catch myself thinking what is my purpose in this life because it has yet to present itself. and based upon that i would sink deeper into my rut and start to believe that i was worthless and didn't belong...
your advice is nothing that i haven't heard before...and i don't mean that in a mean way...but as a depressed person i know what i should do...and i know that if i just try to be happy...make a conscious effort to change my situation...things will get better. but i don't. ans sometimes i believe that i like being depressed. its like a comfort zone or something...I'm not a really big fan of change..so a part of me figures why change your attitude towards the world? you are who you are? take comfort in that and accept it.
i know how to fix my problem and yet i don't want to. its really sad...but i would rather be depressed and lonely than venture out and try to be happy. i don't know what that "happy" would be like. how would i get there? how vulnerable do i have to be to let people in?
I understand what you mean. I have happy moments so to speak, but lately it has been hard and sometimes I force myself to be happy. Trying to make something better though doesn't hurt anyone. I sometimes like being depressed because it is the deepest state of emotion I believe a person can be in, but most times I don't like it. Depression though and anxiety are a part of who I am. This blog wasn't a quick fix, but rather ways to improve quality of life for a person who can't get rid of the depression.
It improves quality, but of course won't fix it. "Happy" is a very good thing, but you can at least try to equal out your sadness with the happiness. That is how I try and do it.
It seems like alot of people have let you down and hurt you in the past. I have a brick wall so to speak and it allows me to not let people in until I slowly let the wall down. The wall has never totally come down and I am not sure if it will, but you can at least try to let people in just a little bit.
I guess all I can tell you is to look in your heart and try to find yourself. You are who you are, but you can also change parts of yourself to become a better person for your own sake.
" I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully"
-W
this is wonderful. thanks for posting this. :D