I do not like the fact that most of my blogs recently are about how my self-esteem is low. It bothers me to think that there is so many things about myself that I need to fix in order for myself, and others to feel better.
I have realized that over the years many people adapt to different characteristics of other people and them characteristics become their own. They can be either good ones or bad. Sadly, mine are mostly bad ones. I think that since I have been growing up I have starting to do things the way people around me have. Everything that I am doing now, I have seen others do and it has become part of me. It is really not a good thing, being it is mainly bad things. I just need some way to stop being this way and become the person that I really want to be.
It is so hard to explain to anyone how hard it is for me to stop doing the things that I hate. I wish I could explain it easier that way maybe I would get some help. Maybe by telling things I do that I do not like and what I would rather do instead would help someone tell me what to do and maybe make myself change on my own. Be nice please with advice!
Here are some things that I do not like doing:
1 I complain about every single thing that I do not like that someone does
2 I make a big deal out of almost anything
3 I make someone feel like s**t by telling them how they make me feel by doing something I do not like( I do not purposely make them feel that way, but maybe I say things wrong.)
4 Any time I do not like someone that someone does I tell them it and I seem to not care how they feel by me telling them(I tell them that I do care but to them it does not show.)
5 I get annoyed with a lot of things; the reason why I do not like a lot of things either
6 If something does not work out how I want it to or perfectly I get upset and upset the person I am talking to
7 I get mad whenever I do not get to talk about something I want because the other person does not want to
8 I ask questions about everything no matter if it is important or not
9 I make a certain person feel like they do everything wrong whenever they do everything right
10 biggest thing, I do not seem to appreciate what I have. I seem to find wrong in everything
...I could go on but really do not feel like it.
Now here are the things I wish I would do instead:(they go along with the above things)
1 I want to be alright that I will not like everything someone does, and I want to be able to just accept it and no complain about it
2 I do not want everything to be a big deal with me anymore
3 I want to know a way to make the person not feel horrible about something they have done and to make them understand I am only being honestly by saying how I feel, or if they will get upset I do not want to tell them; I want a way to do that
4 I wanna be able to show that I love and care a certain person, I seem to not show it whenever I act how I do. I hate it so much...
5 I wish I would not get annoyed by so much, I want to be able to accept things and not let them bother me
6 I want to be alright with the fact that everything will not work out how I planned and that I should be good with how it turned out anyways
7 I want to be able to accept the fact that some things will not get talked about and I should be okay with it
8 I want to know how to be alright with not knowing everything and just trust that things are the way they are and not worry so much about everything
9 I want this person to know that they are the best person for me and that they do not do anything wrong and to change things so they do not feel that way anymore
10 I really want to be able to appreciate everything that I have. I have everything I do not deserve right now, esp. my boyfriend. I want to not find wrong in everything; I really want to find the good in things.
I think everyone thinks way too negatively of themselves...myself included...and mostly for no reason...but I think instead of accepting ourselves and our flaws the real first step is accepting that we will never be happy with who we are...
and my biggest issue is that I push people away once they get close b/c if they care that means I can hurt them
If you have a positive attitude, things seem to go more that way. Different things I have done have shown me this. If I am doing something and start feeling down on myself, I get a new attitude to succeed even more. I wasn't alway like that but have found when I change my attitude to positive, thing work out better. Give yourself your own fight to be everything you want out of life. There is great opportunity in this world for all of us. We have to be fighters for what we believe is worth fighting for. If someone tries to belittle you, prove them wrong and succeed. That is one of the greatest pleasures and gifts you can give yourself. I learned this a long and hard way but it works for me always. Best of luck to you!