No Longer a Copier.

I just got off the phone, from a two hour conversation with the guy I now consider my best friend. Throughout the lost hour of I was flipping through a CosmoGirl magazine from March 06, that was on my shelf from when I was still working on my collage wall. We laughed about the stupid stuff inside, read some of the more serious articles and then his phone died and he had to go. But it got me thinking.
I can remember when I was younger, a pre-teen, before my best friend moved away. When reading CosmoGirl, Seventeen, YM & such magazines were the highlight of the month. Me and my best friend Shyanne had subscriptions, between the two of us to all of them, and every month as soon as the new one would arrive we would rush to the others house or to the phone and read them cover to cover, swoon over the boys, laugh about the stories, and wish we were the celebrities between the pages.
I'm seventeen now, and now the only reason I read any of those magazines are for the headlines that draw my attention. Mainly the ones about art and writing. I don't spend hours in my bathroom with a picture of Paris Hilton trying to make my hair and eyeshadow look just like hers. I'll admit, that when I was fifteen I had a picture of Avril Lavigne on my bathroom wall, and I'd spend at least an hour in the morning trying to copy her look.
I guess I've grown up now. Because, I rarely copy the look of anyone. I get inspired, by the radical make up I see online, [[I am a huge makeup freak. I love to play with it, and do artistic stuffs with my eyes]] but I don't know. Things are so different now.
I still look up to some of the same people, Pink, Kelly Osbourne, Cyndi Lauper etc. I don't know if I have grown out of the idol worship or if I have grown up and created my own style implicating but not directly copying their style and my fandom of them.
Its almost surreal.
I'm still the person I was then. I still like the same celebrities, the same style of clothing and everything. But my appearance has changed greatly.
I don't know if I've stopped trying to hard, or I've finally perfecting the art of looking like I don't try at all.
I will say I am proud of myself in the fact that I'm not the pop culture kid I used to be. I no longer waste countless hours in front of my television praying for my favorite song to be number one on TRL or squealing in excitement when I see my favourite band on television. I am proud that I turn off the television when the latest Brittney Gossip comes on.
I just wish that the rest of the world could stop dwelling on the lives of movie stars and music icons.
I'm not saying I don't care about them, I still see old Cyndi Lauper videos and think I want to be as comfortable with me as she is. I want to be remembered for being myself I don't think OMG I WANT TO BE HER.
I don't. I want to be me.