I am proud of myself in college. I have not ended up like my rabbit or goldfish, and I am maintaining some what mental stability. Between school all day and work all night, I’m just happy that I am still functioning. Or, at least I thought I was, until this morning when I woke up sick. DRAT! Those Finding Nemo multivitamins were supposed to keep me away from the sniffles! Oh well, what is a girl to do? Rest…and think. This is what I thought about…
Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in a song or a memory, and it takes me back to the past. Literally everything else around me blackens out (it can get dangerous) and I am taken back to the day where my emotions felt completely different. Even though the worries or thoughts I had back then are extremely far from me now, I can still feel how they impacted me as if it was yesterday. My heart can literally still hurt or I can get excited all over again, even though those feelings no longer apply to me, or I have moved on internally. So why is it that a sight, sound, or smell can take me back so quickly? Do I secretly miss my past? And after a year or a few years, will I do that same thing with the moments I am having now? I guess, the way I figure, is that my obsession with the past is not a yearning for what isn't, but for what I once have and learned from. Those memories that have defined me so greatly now, still linger in my mind. I never ponder on "what ifs" or regrets, because honestly that is a waste of energy. Or possibly, its just because I am so happy with the present...
I totally know what you mean about everything else just disappearing except for a certain memory...I do that too...and I can sometimes do it when I'm day dreaming too...in my case I think it comes from a life of practice...it's what I used to do when things got bad at home...I'd sit on my bed and dream myself somewhere else and when I finally "came back" it would be hours later
Yeah its like those memories reflect such pure happiness, that I wish I could just go back. Even for just a second. Be there with no worries, just that warmth and peace I recall when daydreaming.
exactly...and then when you realize you aren't really back there it's so disappointing...but at the same time you have to live with it b/c you have to make more and better memories in the future too
yeah. The best we can do is hope to be in the future and look back at today with the same fondness.