so my best friend is a boy. we are extremely close. we're always seen together, so a lot of people think that we go together. when we tell them that we are just friends, they kind of smile and say "okay." some people think that we are friends with benefits. u know..."fuck buddies." that irritates the hell out of me. i dont understand why its so hard to believe that we could just be friends. we've never done anything like that with each other. i will admit that at times we may flirt a little, but we are both flirts so that is to be expected. it never goes past that. i really like my friendship with him because he helps me with my relationships, and i help him with his. he has a girlfriend right now, who doesnt like me by the way, and i help him out when he's having problems with her. i let him know when he's doing something that she would probably get mad about and i try to keep him out of trouble. the only thing that i dislike about his girlfriend is that she seems a little too insecure. she decided that she didnt like me based on the fact that im her boyfriend's female friend. i guess she feels threatened because we are so close and maybe because i am able to spend time with him during the day when she cant because we go to the same school. i have never done anything but try to be nice to her, and its not like he never told her about me. he told her about me in the beginning of the relationship, but im not really worried about it. theres not really anything i can do anyway. i think all these people who are starting rumors that he and i are in a relationship will end up causing problems for us, him especially since he has a girlfriend. its so hard for people to accept a boy/girl friendship without thinking that its more than that. i'll just have to put up with it for now because i cant just give up my friend. let me know ur opinions on this topic. is it not possible for boys and girls to have strictly platonic relationships?
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I understand your frusteration because I have a guy friend who is JUST a friend and a lot of people blow it out of proportion. But we all have an opinion, our opinion, and we view things the way we choose to. You cant change what other people think...you can only change how you feel about what they think.
Good luck.
Kissing Sun Firefly (Suzanne)
I understand your frusteration because I have a guy friend who is JUST a friend and a lot of people blow it out of proportion. But we all have an opinion, our opinion, and we view things the way we choose to. You cant change what other people think...you can only change how you feel about what they think.
Good luck.
Kissing Sun Firefly (Suzanne)
I understand the frustration, but it's totally acceptable for a guy and girl to be just friends. It shows that not all different sex relationships revolve around romance/sex. I have a really good guy friend who's actually closer than any of my girl friends, and that's cause we just get along so well and have so many similar interests. Actually in general, I get along better with guys than girls. Like you, I get some people asking me whether my guy friend and I are going out or something when we're not. It is annoying, but at the same time I just have to shrug it off. I mean, are we really still stuck in the period where girls can only be friends with girls and guys can only be friends with guys? I only find that kind of behavior in elementary school. Maybe those people who think you guys are together are jealous? It's a long shot, but hey, it's possible.
I do hope that rumors aren't being spread about you and your guy friend to the point where some problems occur with your friend and his girlfriend. But if she can't talk it out and get the truth about your friendship with her boyfriend, then I don't think she's anything more than just possessive. (But then again, I could be wrong since I don't know her, but that's the feeling I'm getting)
Girls and guys can have totally platonic relationships. People just don't think of it that way. Like, I totally know how you feel cause I've been friends with a guy since I was 6, and he was 5. Even as little kids we were teased about being more than friends. And it certainly hasn't changed any in recent years. In fact, the rumors of romance have only increased. I think you just have to ignore it and focus on keeping your friendship with this guy alive. Cause friends are what really matter, not what people who have no idea what they're talking about think.
Sometimes it's hard to believe. I have experiences trying to be friends with guys. Once he doesn't have feelings for you, he won't be as friendly. That doesn't go for all guys, but high school guys especially have a hard time being friends with girls they don't like. That's where they get it from.
http://www.progressiveu.org/190000-help-me-out
It is most definitely possible for people of the opposite sex to be "just friends." Throughout my life, many of my closest friends have been male. We have never been anything more than friends and things have always been comfortable and worked well between us.
A lot of people just don't like to think of it that way... until it is them being teased for being best friends with someone of the opposite sex.
"We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us." -Marcel Proust
It is definitely possible to have a strictly platonic relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Most of my best friends are guys. We all help each other out. I love my guy friends as if they were my brothers. They are nothing more than friends to me and I'm sure the same goes for them and me. Honestly, I think the best types of friends to have are those of the opposite sex. Guys, in my opinion, are easier to get along with, and they don't TRY to create unnecessary drama for those around them. So good for you, for standing by your friendship with that guy!
all of u think the same way i do.
stargirl7 and alianne01,
ur definitely feelin me. dont u just wish people would mind their own business sometimes? its like "okay when ur done, can i have my life and my business back?" i think people get bored with their own lives, so they try to create drama in everyone else's.
greenmuse89, fallon, and lorimck,
i get along much better with guys than girls too because a lot of girls are two-faced and will smile in ur face while stabbing u in the back. i just find it easier not to associate to much with them. that has made a lot of people try to imply that im a hoe, but any of my guy friends will tell u that its never been more than a friendly type thing. really i dont consider too many people "friends." i have associates and three or four actual friends, this guy being one of them obviously.
tressae,
i know exactly wut u mean about guys not really being friends with girls. i dont think any guy approaches a girl thinking, "oh she looks like a great friend" u know? but as he gets to know the girl, if a relationship doesnt develop, he may find that he still likes to spend time with the girl because they have a lot in common or she's easy to talk to or whatever. some people just arent meant to be in a relationship with each other. thats wut usually happens with me. but i dont think u can say that all guys are like that because it all depends on the way he is.
i apologize for not knowing ur names :)
I think that guys and girls can be strictly friends. I grew up with another brother and spent most of my time hanging out with the guys. I have guys friends and so on. Other people may drop comments asking if you're going out and spreading rumors, but truthfully, you cant stop them from doing it. Don't let it bother your relationship with him. And as for his girlfriend. I think she just might see you as a threat. Because you probably spend a lot of time with him. After a while she'll become more comfortable after realizing you are just a friend and not there to steal her boyfriend. Its fun having another guy friend, their more like brothers than anything else.
see i thought that she would see that we are just friends, but they have been together for 6 months now. i really want to have a heart-to-heart with her and see how she's feeling about the whole thing but she's not havin it, which is why i say im not worried about it anymore. she swears up and down i want her man, but its not like that at all. she would know that if she would just talk to me and at least try to get to know me, u know?
It is possible.
I grew up with my neighbor as my best friend-who is a boy. And when it came to school-I always had more guy friends than girl friends, my best friends were always guys.
It definately is possible.
::Laugh:: It's interesting how we don't seem to have a single proponent of the romance-only theory for boy-girl friendships. Well, what can I say? While it is hard to believe some times, I do think boys and girls can just be friends. At a certain point, friends become genderless. He's no longer a guy, but a buddy; she's no longer a girl, but a pal. Overcoming the gender gap, friends become closer and skip over the risk of getting involved in an intimate relationship together. I think a lot of boy-girl best friend pairs can never see themselves dating one another. I wonder if it's true.
I agree that you can just be friends with someone of the opposite sex, but I've had some interesting experiences with guys. Of my three best guy friends in high school, I had a crush on one for a couple months, one apparently had a crush on me (and didn't ask me out because he was afraid our friendship would be ruined), and I don't think the third even cared. Before I changed schools, I was good friends with a guy, and I liked him, but he turned out to be gay. Now, the summer before my senior year, I met my current boyfriend. He started liking me, and ended up going out with a friend of ours for a couple weeks because he thought that I didn't like him back. After they broke up, he says he likes me, and we got together. So, I think it's entirely possible to be just friends, but there can be some complications in there.
~C
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i know this is an old post but i liked this post and wanted to comment. i have a best guy friend and my boyfriend wasnt reallly happy with the idea. me and my friend actually started to lose touch when me and my boyfriend got serious. Im still best friends with him bc my boyfriend has grown to trust us being friends and now they r best friends which makes it so much fun and doesnt put a strain on my relationship
I understand both sides of the spectrum. I've been surrounded by guys my whole life. I was a tomboy when I was little and when I grew out of it I continued to attract people of both genders into my social circle. I'm now, however, facing the problem that I am in fact infatuated with one of my best male friends and have no idea how to handle the situation. However, my other 20+ platonic relationships with guys have remained the same. So yes.
I have a friend her name is michelle we been friends for like ever now and every one that i talk to like my dudes i be chillen wit always be askin me if i hit yet, and i dont like that cause its disrespectabel to her and to me.Besides i got a girl friend that i would never ever cheat on and all of my boys know this but thier just to stupid to see that. so if any one gives you that look after tellin them your just friends, brush your shoulder off and walk away ya dig
My absolute best friend in the entire world is a girl, and she and I have absolutely desire to date each other. We hang out, talk a lot, play music together, hang out, do stuff friends would do, but everyboyd thinks we're dating - and it pisses me off!
She was dating a guy a few days ago (they just broke up) and I felt bad for him. She and I had a lot in common, he had nothing! She and I liked music, he knew that music came out of the radio! She and I were going to college, he was a car mechanic with no desire to go to college. When we three hung out, she and I talked, and he hardly ever spoke about anything.
I think the extra person needs to integrate themselves right into the friendship. If the boyfriend/girlfriend can't get along with your friend, then they need to pack their bags and find some lame people to hang out with!