I don't think I can count how many times I've been called a "good girl." No matter how much moral dignity is behind it, I just don't like the phrase. It classifies me into a group.
I attended a private, catholic school where everyone was pretty strong in their faith and all had the same moral values. It was great, until I made friends with people outside of my school. People who knew something about my school would group us all into one sterotype: the good kids. God only knows that not every kid that went to my school was a saint. There are people who do things that many people don't approve of and would shock anyone. On one hand, the things they do, probably aren't the worst things possibly done compared to things that other people have done. So does that mean that because they aren't displaying the worst behavior that they're still good?
Why it bothers me is because I don't like to be sterotyped. "Good girl?" I've done some things too. Grant it, they weren't that horrible and I'm not scarred by them, but I am no means completely innocent. The phrase itself hasn't been just directed in that I'm good because of my beliefs in sex and faith, but anything for that matter. I remember one instance where someone said, "Don't pick a song that's going to be racy for the kids. Not that you listen to anything like that. You're one of the good girls." Huh? Because I'm good, I can't listen to racy music? That doesn't make any sense to me.
I think it hurt me that most when my friend called me one. She had just transformed into someone I barely knew. No matter how much she pressured me to get into what she was, I refused to do any of it. Because I wouldn't do what she started to do, she called me a "good girl." I think because best friends know you the most, I realized that I was really good.
So, is being a "good girl" an isult? Absolutely not if you're strong in your beliefs. It can be a compliment. What people need to understand is that "good girls" can mess up too.
The Good Girl: What Is That Supposed To Mean?
By pkubik08 - Posted on April 29th, 2008
Tagged: good
• Good Choices
• sterotypes
• Broad prosperity
• Shared responsibility
• Personal freedom
• Better future
Yes, depending on who you are, "Good Girl" can be an insult. It depends on how confident a person is in the way she lives her life.
I, too, had my share of getting the whole "Goodie-two-shoes" rant from people. For a while I was very sensitive, and almost didn't want to be a "Good Girl." However, now I'm proud of who I am and the choices I made in the past and continue to make now. I think it's all about confidence and maturity levels.
It's sad that it's not "cool" to be "good" these days.
That's a really good point. I am a much BETTER girl than I was back when I was a "good girl" in a Lutheran school. Outwardly, I was a good student, didn't drink, didn't smoke, etc. But inwardly, I was struggling, which led me to do a lot of things I regret (mainly my failed efforts to prove to myself and everyone else how heterosexual I was). Nowadays, I am an out lesbian, and most of the people who thought I was a "good girl" back in the day think I am a disgusting pervert now. I know that I am now a much more honest and moral person than I ever was when I was a "good girl." The moral of the story is, it doesn't matter who people THINK you are. All that matters is who you KNOW you are. If you are mature enough to have a handle on that, you can define yourself honestly and let the others label all they want.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
This is interesting to hear because my dad went to Catholic school and those students were what you'd call "bad kids". They were very badly behaved and even drove a nun nuts.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think
I've seen several situations where private, Christian schools have a lot of crazy "bad" kids. Some parents hope those schools might "shape up" the kids.
The “good girl” is a nice way to let you know, till now you had a fine education which unfortunately might represent you to have troubled moment to occur in your future.
The reason why they call you this way is because they actually like the person that you are, but on top of that they are actually letting you know your education made you probably a bit naïf too.
The naïf part is what might bring your personal reality balloon to pop one day or another!
The one’s calling you good girl live another kind of reality, they are not better or worse than you, but they seem to have a wider knowledge on what’s cooking in the big kitchen of life.
The thing is, one can go through life like a postcard never reaching its destiny, while others pay interest to the curious discoveries of their fellow travelers!
Ediblewoman brought up a fine example of how important it is to create and make up your own mind about the realities you face during this travel.
The more you explore and question your surroundings the better understanding you will create and carry about the real intentions some might carry with them while trying to reflect them upon you!
Friends will come and go until they don’t anymore, the best way is to stay in tune with your own mind. You are not part of a group, you are you! Friends will never become a quantity problem if you remain in tune with yourself.
Never become judgmental and you will know when it’s time to let go of so called friends and continue your own path.
Be and stay your own boss, period!
May the force be with you….always