I was talking to one of my co-workers today about my upcoming move to Arizona. He mentioned that his Godmother lives in Arizona, and he'd be down there visiting next summer. Ten minutes of brainstorming and fantasizing later, he decided to give his Godmother a call to let her know that I will be moving down there and we should meet up at some point. After a couple minutes of pleasentries, he remembered to remind her that I am white.
Why should that matter? Does he have to go on the record and let her know that she would be inviting a white man into her house? Should she have to play to different expectations to accomodate me, and will she have some nice Hank Williams playing when I get over there because that's what white folks listen to? Or is it just a formality, so let her know so she won't be shocked when I come over. I thought our society has been working together to look past skin color. But it's still the first thing we see when we meet a new person.
I've never felt the need to announce that the friend that I'm bringing over to my grandparents or to my parents house is black or asian or latino. Last weekend I went to my friend's sister's house, and her boyfriend (whom I had no expectations for) was from Costa Rica and promptly greeted me in spanish. It took me by surprise, but only because I wasn't expecting to be greeted in spanish, I couldn't comprehend the words. Is the same true for skin color? If you're expecting black and you get white, do you get tongue tied and confused?
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Do you think thats funny? Thats so racist.
Then again, it is your opinion.
The other black co-worker of mine who was in on the conversation made that comment. And we all thought it was funny. It's probably just not funny coming from a white person, huh.
But, to each his own. Apoligies if my comment was offensive.
I just think a lot of older black people just do not like white people that much. I guess it's because they lived during the Jim Crow period. the older people in my family are kind of like that. When I was younger I always wondered what my family would think of my white friends or say when I wasn;t there.
The only person I have ever felt the need to "warn" was my grandparents. Not for their sakes, but for the sake of whomever I was bringing over. My grandfather was a wonderful man, but he had the tendency to make the most inappropriate and horrible comments "she's black but she's not half bad" and things of that nature. It was absolutely infuriating and a point we argued about endlessly. He was incredibly welcoming, but couldn't seem to keep those comments from erupting every once in a while. My friends would laugh it off because otherwise he was so nice... but it aggravated me nonetheless. I think he finally started getting the picture before he passed away last year, but phew, it was a lot of work.
I don't think I've been surprised and not because anyone has warned me. I think it's more that I just never think about what "color" someone is. I suppose that's because I've dated and been friends with people of all colors and backgrounds and it's never mattered one way or another to me.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss
"May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the warm rays of the sun fall upon your home."
There isn't anything we can do about it but its true for everything I think. Just most people don't say it out loud. Doesn't mean that the person is being racist I dont think.
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