Facebook notes: drama starters or legitmate way to express yourself?
So recently I've been dealing with a lot of unnecessary drama on, I can't believe this, facebook. Isn't this what little 12 year olds do? Start nasty comment wars online that end up starting rumors, pissing people off, and all in all, are pointless.
But some background: my friend, who i love and have been friends with for 12 years, posted an angry/frustrated note on facebook about the state of things in our school, and especially our senior class. i really liked it. she made some valid points, and i know that at more than one time i've felt the same way as her. it spoke about the incredible amount of judgement in our class, how people are so hypocritical- we go to a Catholic school and preach love and respect yet we can't even garner enough respect to learn about another religion without some stupid joke or ignorant comment (but that's another argument all together so moving on...). Overall, it was just a large vent about how she really hates some of the things people do in our school. She only tagged a few friends in it, which tells me she wasn't posting this to gain attention or piss people off in any way, she just wanted to get some frustrations out. I have no problem with this, especially since she's one of the best writers i know and made a really good point.
Well one guy decided she was just being all to high and mighty and obviously thought everyone else was beneath her, so he left a 5 paragraph comment on how she must judge others too, it was her own fault she mistrusted some people in our grade, and that people shouldn't have to care about religions, becase in his mind, they were pointless and unneeded anway. and on and on. and on.
Ensue comment war. I was so angry that this guy would say such things to my friend. Of course, you're free to disagree with her. Tell her she's wrong, but DON'T stand on your own pedestal and tell her what she should and shouldn't do. She was angry and stressed and need to VENT. the note was never meant for your eyes in the first place, so you shouldn't really be offended because it was never aimed at you.
and now tons of people from our school are commenting on it. some largely agree. some people are calling my friend haughty and self-righteous. i just fear she's going to get hurt by someones comment.
the guys final comment was: If you want to express your feelings on something, that's fine, but if you write a note on facebook, then that's just asking for attention or a reply, both of which she got.
So what say you? Should someone be able to express what they feel in a facebook note? Or if someone posts a note are they obviously just asking for attention and drama?
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she basically put it out on one of the most publically used web sites in the world, yet she expected privacy. if she needs to vent, then write it down in a journal or something and show a select amount of people. that way shes in control.
I'd say she had every right to post her vent on Facebook if she so chose, especially since as you said, she didn't tag very many friends. But even if the guy was way out of line, she can't get too upset by his actions. Like anything you do on Facebook, when you post a note, people will read it and judge it. Things can get blown out of proportion, and you have to consider that before you post anything, whether it's a note, a picture, a group, or whatever.
Italian by birth, American by citizenship, Moçambicana pelo escolhe
She was angry and stressed and need to VENT. the note was never meant for your eyes in the first place, so you shouldn't really be offended because it was never aimed at you.
If it was never meant for his eyes in the first place, then she shouldn't have never posted it on facebook -- which in a lot of ways, is probably the worst place to post something (even worse than myspace or xanga or any other social networking site) because basically everything that you do is open to the public (especially if you don't control your privacy settings). You say that your friend only tagged a couple of friends, but because she tagged those few friends everyone whose friends with those "few" basically see that they got tagged in some note, click on it, and read it. And since her views are extreme on the issue, of course people are going to respond back in an equally extreme way.
"he guys final comment was: If you want to express your feelings on something, that's fine, but if you write a note on facebook, then that's just asking for attention or a reply, both of which she got."
And he's right. I don't know what your friend was looking for in posting a note like that on facebook, but there's a comment box for a reason -- people are going to read it, and if they have something to say they're going to respond.
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"No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it." -- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
Facebook appears to have all the stupid drama of MySpace. *Sigh* and I thought I was being smart by avoiding MySpace altogether and eventually (through a lot of prodding by a friend) getting Facebook. Drama will ensue wherever possible.
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Mind Control is Easier Than You Think