A few months ago, a popular magazine for young girls that promotes modest standards published an article addressing promise rings. The article made good points, such as no one knows what the future is going to hold, and how can you know the true intentions of your 'significant other'. As I read the short column I realized those same inconsistencies the magazine applied to promise rings could easily arise with an engagement ring or even a wedding ring.
The story continued by saying high school relationships rarely ever continue or 'stay together', and that a premature committment is likely to fail. Again, after reading this, I substituted 'high school relationships' with marriage- In most states in the USA, the divorce rate is near or above 50%. Over half of all marriages fail! So how can we say that a promise ring is more dangerous than an engagement ring or a wedding ring?
I have a promise ring, a beautiful five diamond, two-tone gold ring on my finger. My boyfriend gave it to me almost a year ago, and we are still together, still strong, and still committed. [We'd been together for a long time before that, so the gift and promise was not premature.]
After pointing this out, I was asked, 'if your committment and your relationship is so strong, why not just get an engagement ring?' I wonder how long it took the person asking to realize how dumb they just sounded. It is a contradiction to tell young people not to give promise rings because of committment and future unknowns, and then tell them to buy an engagement ring! Not only is it skipping a step that could benefit a relationship and make it stronger, but it is setting a double standard, a confusing one, and it is setting couples up to rush things. Rushed relationships can crash and burn a potentially beautiful life together.
To me, this makes no sense, I see nothing wrong with promise rings, and I think they could be very useful. What's your take? Good or Bad?
I think promise rings are good, they do more than show the givers commitment to the recipient, they also help the wearer to remember their commitment to the giver.
I do have a major beef with something you mention in your post, that is the hoards of media both conservative and liberal telling teens that their relationships are meaninglesss and will not last beyond their adolecense. The reason for this is that in my opinion adolecense is a false stage of life created by parents who want their children to remain children...
but promise rings are a wonderful idea
AwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW. That's cute that he bought you a promise ring. One of these days my boyfriend will buy me 1 too =)
Lol, well I hope so, then you can show it off like I do. XD
Thats cute! I think promise rings are a good idea. Sometimes you need the step between dating and engagement. Your ring sounds adorable!!
It completely is. I can't help but brag, lol! *blush*
I think it makes sense. My older brother bought that for his girlfriend and now they're engaged.
It's like commitment minus the huge pressure of engagement and marriage which are completely different than just a relationship.
Yes, I agree that what the person wrote in the article about getting an engagement ring if a couple's relationship is so strong is dumb because its bad to rush into things.
Read my blog!
Promise rings aren't bad at all I have had 2 before and the relationships ended but I was really young. There really is not promise in a promise ring ( at least not always) and there is no harm in that. The divorce rate was 70% last time I checked but it could have dropped. People get married too early into a relationship, or they have problems but just ignore them and stay with the person that is why marriages fail (besides other reasons). There is no harm in a promise ring but for a younger kid to get an engagment ring would be dumb. Still there isn't a promise with a promise ring or engagement ring because your really not technically married. Promise rings aren't bad because like I said it's not always a promise nor does it have to be.
i gave my boyfriend a promise ring 6 months after we met. he (even tough he would die if i ever said this out loud) is kind of insecure about how i feel for him. he's always scared that will suddenly not love him anymore (product of a horrid 1st girlfriend) So, in our relationship, it has been a good thing. we've been together for two years and i dont think we've had more than 3 fights ever. so...yah, its a good thing for me but it may not be for other people. i.e. my friend Nika would freak because shes a total commitment-phobe.
I also have a promise ring! Mine isn't nearly as pretty or expensive sounding as yours though! Actually my boy friend and I bought ours together from Hottopic 2 Valentines Day's ago... Allthough they only cost $40 combined they are very meaningful to us. His says "I'd like to join you by your side" and mine "where we can gaze into the stars" which is a quote from "our movie" The Nightmare Before Christmas! Hopefully on my birthday next year it will be replaced with an engagment ring!