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Depression-An Everyday Occurence or a Disease?
By dpjohnnysxy17 - Posted on November 12th, 2006
Tagged: Health
Some people will say that everyone suffers from depression. Which is true to a point. But not everyone will have that same mind-numbing pain that comes from being in a constant state of sorrow. It is possible to live a life normally, acting on the outside, but on the inside, depression causes people to tear apart. Not wanting to do anything, loss of appetite, and irritability are just some of the symptoms that those of us suffer from. Depression is extremely hard to diagnose, as the symptoms go from one extreme to the other. You can be an insomniac, or you can sleep all day. You could eat nothing, or everything. The only one who really knows what is wrong with them is the person suffering. Only they can reach out for help, which is not done very often, as people with depression feel that no one can understand how they feel. This can lead to a downward slide causing most of the suicides in the nation. I know about this because I have to take medication every day to keep my mood under control. I once suffered from manic depression (well I guess I still do since it never goes away) and attempted to kill myself. Since then I have been reduced to something I told myself I would never do. I am now a cutter. I just want to ask of all those people out there, how can some people say that your state of mind doesn't matter? How can people act as though you have control over your feelings and thoughts?
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Dear Friend,
I just want to say to you first that you matter. I too suffer from depression. First from Major Depressive Illness that stems partially from my brain chemistry and partially from events in my childhood. I also suffer from a depression brought on from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I was Cruely, Severely, and Violently attacked and raped twice in a 14 month period of time. The first attacker attempted to murder me.
I understand how you feel. I understand the urge and action of self harm behavior, ie. cutting. I have my own self harm behaviors that I struggle with. I understand the urge and I understand how hard you fight to not give in but then I also understand that release of all the emotions and pain pent up inside of you.
I understand you when you ask, "How can some people say that your state of mind doesn't matter." To me it makes me think of my grandmother and her reaction about 1 year ago when I was knee deep in crisis and she said, "You just have to get over it. You tell yourself to forget about all that bad stuff that happened to you and move on like it never happened." This was a week after the second rape. How can you just "forget about" someone attempting to murder you (that happened with the first attack). I can't answer why all people can just tell us to shrug off what is going on in our minds, I think for my grandmother it's a generation gap. When she was young you didn't talk about or put any thought into bad things after they happened. They pretended they didn't happen at all. I am not saying that's ok. I think our generation needs to start to educate our elders on how it's ok to open up.
I think people act as though you have control over your feelings and thoughts because that's what they want to believe. It gives them a false sense of security. Although there are ways to become in control of your feelings and thoughts. You should ask your therepist about DBT therepy: Dilectical Behavioral Therepy. It is designed to give you four skill sets. I am in the middle of it now. One skill set is Mindfullness: skills to keep your focus on the here and now. For me this is helpfull because I have flashbacks and mindfullness helps me when I feel myself drifting to snap back to the present. Another skill set is Emotional Regulation: learning how to identify, express and regulate your emotions. There is also Distress Tolerance: learning how to tolerate stressfull situations better. The last one is Interpersonal Effectiveness: learning how to effectivly interact with other people. Anyways, here are my thoughts.
I'm depressed, too. I'm on Prozac, but it doesn't really help. I cut myself, too, but it doesn't really help. There is only one person I can talk to, and that's because she also once tried to commit suicide. I try to talk to my other friends, but all they say "I don't understand how you can be depressed."
I know what you're going through, and you know what I'm going through. Hopefully that will be enough for us!
This is coming from a former cutter, someone who attempted suicide twice, someone who has had every person in their immediate family under some medication for depression, and someone who lost two relatives to depression.
It's both. Plain and simple. There are different kinds and people don't truly understand the DISEASE that is depression. It is a stigma in today's society and it is regarded as something temporary that is self-inflicted.
Never give up hope. You CAN have control over the things. It takes some of the hardest work that you will probably ever do in your life but it is worth it. The grass really is greener on the other side.
Please stop cutting, there are better things to do with your hands. That sounded naughty lol.
If you ever need anyone to talk to: AIM: reformedsinner7