Alone

Here I am. 9:30 P.M. Silence permeates every square inch of my house. No brothers fighting, no father snoring, no sister yelling.

And yet, I wish they were here doing all that. They are up in Glendale right now. I can't shake this feeling of...aloneness. This is silly: I just got back from having a great time with my friends. Right after I got off work, I still had no plans other than to go over there and just have a blast. But that's over now. And I'm feeling a return of the mood I have felt for most of this weekend. Solitude.

Unfortunately, the silence isn't golden. Whoever came up with that is a blithering idiot.

Alone. That's a natural feeling, I guess, in the wake of everything that has happened in the past few months. I'm more of a reference on a legal sheet rather than a living, thinking, breathing individual with unique talents and a knack for getting in trouble. I think too deeply and have an incessant need to write. One of my arms is slightly longer than the other. I can run a mile faster than you can make a TV dinner.

But what the hell does that matter. In this tiny speck of space that I occupy in the center of a vast universe, those things listed are me. Outside this tiny speck that I occupy, however, those things don't mean as much.

Funny how we all consider ourselves to be vastly important, uniquely talented, and specifically experienced. If the universe was sentient, it would laugh loudly at all of us. We are nothing. The only way we are something is if other people in other little specks recognize and believe in us and our little speck.

Yet, even as we are little specks in our little corner of a vast universe, we are also larger than the universe itself. It is by our own perspective that the universe is so vast. Without our perspective, the universe wouldn't be recognized for what it is.

This feeling of solitude, then, is nothing to be afraid of. It's all perspective.