I have to wonder how important friendship really is. Do you ever find true friends? I mean, think about it, you have friends in middle school, high school, college, and at work and somewhere down the road, you lose most if not all of those friends. I use to wonder if this was an isolated thing, but after speaking to co-workers and family members, I realized it happens often. So why is that I wonder. Do people change as they grow older? Do they just grow apart because their interest change or they have familys? Where they really just a social buddie, not a friend. So many questions and so little answers. Take my mother for instance. She has three friends she's known since 7th and 8th grade. They all went to the same highschool and remained friends until I was around 12, then I noticed they didn't talk anymore. Their calls seemed like they went from daily to monthly, to yearly to non-existing. I asked my mom about it and she told me she only has one true friend and that its her sister. I was puzzled, but then she explained to me that her sister will always be there, will always love her unconditionally and that they could never outgrow one another. It made me wish I had a sibling, but oh well.
This friend thing has me puzzled. I had "so called friends that I've known for years. People I would have done anything for, and they turned on me once in high school because I didn't want to get into boy trouble with them. Some friends!
Okay, if it's not isolated to me, but something I've known many women have experienced, its it a woman thing. I dont know a lot of guys to ask this question, but I have to wonder how many guys stay friends and have that strong bond. A real bond.
Any comments.
Friendship is more important than most people think. We all need someone to lean on in times of trouble and hardship, someone we can trust.
And I think the reason people don't stay friends and instead drift apart is because, like I said in a recent blog, we're all hiding from one another. We're afraid to open up to someone and truly trust them, let them share our burdens with us. That's what keeps friends together. We can't hide from each other if we plan on staying friends, you know?
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
You pose a very good question, and I can relate on many terms. I remember asking my mother that same question. Her answer was something that I wasn't expecting.
I think that friends are important when you truly care for their well being and when they truly care for yours and no matter how far you do grow from each other, there will always be some lingering memory in the back of your mind.
Some friends are just friends for a season, and after moving so many times in my life, particularly in recent years, I've come to understand that it's okay. Although I often get sick of only having only friends for a season, I know that it's okay that I only really have a few close friends. I don't really keep in touch with anyone from high school, but that's okay. I've moved on, they've moved on; there is nothing bitter about it. I'm still friends with a few people from college, but only two or three do I really keep in touch with. And where I am now, I understand that some of these people will not stay with me when I go on to the next thing. But I appreciate them here. We don't hide from each other, although I do understand what you're saying about that. Those relationships do exist, the surface kind, but that's alright, too. We don't need to be best friends with everyone. That's just exhausting. But I know the difference between the friend for a season and the friend in my heart. And although I might lose long-term touch with some people, they don't stop being my friends. Anyway, friends for a season, they happen, they're not bad relationships, certainly not worthless. Don't stop making friends out of fear of losing them. You need people - everyone needs people. We are social creatures. As much as I hate to admit it sometimes, I need my friends - both the ones here and the ones far away. Don't be discouraged by previous relationships lost. You can have some longer term truer friends, although I've found that most of them don't come until closer to adulthood.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else."
-Buddha
People like their life to be recorded other than by themselves only. This is partly the case because most amongst us fear the thought of dying.
To ease or deal with this thought, many will try whatever to make themselves remembered by as many as possible.
For this reason people seek or open up to social contacts in order to allow this to become a reality.
It partly brings them a sense of identity, which can also boost up their self-esteem, since they will attach (so called) love to any commonly shared emotion.
Just like dogs people go around sniffing asses until they find the right ass to hang around with.
Most individuals feel at ease when hanging around with people (so called friends) which don’t affect too much of their ego, therefore they feel safe and comfortable with people that carry and share same interests and views upon their surroundings.
The reason why males and females don’t understand to much of one another is because their emotional worlds in many cases are far apart and therefore easily misunderstood or worse misinterpreted.
These misinterpretations bring up the spice in our lives, because they bring to surface everything we love, hate, hide, seek, protect, refuse and desire during the short lives which we live.
So, a person that has reached the age of 40 having two friends is not less fortunate than one that has 20 or more friends, because it is of no importance whatsoever.
The only importance is to value the emotion and attachment which is commonly shared.
To achieve this personal balance is easy, love yourself and stop being judgmental towards the surroundings you find yourself in.
When not liking what you see, pick up your stuff and continue your path!
Trying to change opinions and behavior of other individuals is a waste of time and will eventually bring nothing more than confusion to arise in your own thoughts.
Be yourself, love yourself and never mirror yourself towards another in a negative way.
We are all ONE!
Trying to be the one, is to set yourself on a path filled with hurt and fake emotions which you will eventually reflect upon others… how sad is that?
Good luck, lol
And I want to add that it's important to love the people that you are with, even if they won't be with you forever (since that seems to be your fear - a fear of lack of commitment or something?) because right now, they are your family. If you reject them, then you have rejected yourself. You can't build relationships or open up with people, or provide a safe place for them to open up, and therefore NEVER make long term friends if you reject them because you are always afraid of being hurt.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/kariskoett
"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else."
-Buddha
People go different ways in life. I rarely talk to one of my best friends now, because our schedules are so crazy, but we both know that if something happens, we can turn to each other at least to talk about it.
There are people in high school I used to consider friends, but realized that they were only there for a short time, providing companionship more than true friendship. But that's ok too... I had some great times with them, and now our time in each other's lives is over. I, at least, am improved by that time, just as I am if I were to never speak to my ex, who knows more about me than even my mother, again. I don't regret that time together.
~C
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I think some friends are forever. Some are not. It depends on a lot of things, like the types of people you are, what your friendship has endured, and how much you are interested in keeping it going. My best friend is a grade older than me. Even when she's in a different state, planning her wedding without me there, we still talk constantly. She is pretty much like my sister. In my opinion it's better to have two or three extremely close friends than twenty fake ones. I would rather be seen as a "loner" and have the best friends out of anyone. Just because they're at different colleges doesn't mean we're not as close as ever. If you are really meant to be friends, your friendship will change and grow with you.