“In battle, when you discover who your opponent is, you win half the battle.”
Two years ago, my pastor said this during his sermon. As deep as people say I am *psyche* it just didn’t click…until this morning. It’s peculiar how the truth hits you like a delayed wave as it sweeps you further from the comforts of your shores and carries you off into an ocean of understanding…like a voyage of the self.
So there I was, chillin in the kitchen *cleaning really…doing anything to avoid boredom*, just thinking back to that proverb my pastor told the congregation. Suddenly, a wave of understanding hit me, causing me to drop the sponge & pot from my hands lol. For the better half of a minute, the Holy Spirit knocked at the door of my mind, let himself/herself/itself in, and gave my soul a gift: truth. And in that moment, he/she/it said, “If you want to know who your greatest opponent is, you need not look further than yourself.”
Honestly, my first thought was, “What...the heck...was that? Hmm, cool.” But unlike the pastor’s sermon, the truth behind what the Holy Spirit said hit me almost immediately, which is why I’m writing now *caught the wave… rode the wave…learned to do the wave…waved bye to the Holy Spirit…loved the wave* lol.
But seriously…
Before, I used to blame folks for all the hardships in my life; I would blame my father for leaving my mother to raise my sister and I; I would blame politicians for making life in this country *and countries around the world* unnecessarily difficult; I would blame the music industry, the media, and rappers like lil’ Wayne for making our generation so indifferent toward so many aspects of life. But the more fingers I pointed at others, the fewer fingers I had pointing back at me, asking me, “So what are you going to do about it…what has been your part in all of this?”
If you seek to climb to the top of the ladder of any industry (medicine, music, engineering, science, or what have you) or if you wish to excel in this life and become the best you that you can be…then your journey begins with that first step...into yourself. Transformation of the self inevitably causes you to transform your environment. So if you change yourself for the better, there's no telling the positive effect you'll have on your environment.
The only one…THE ONLY ONE…who can stop you from fulfilling your heart's desires is you, my friend, and no one else. Not your unsympathetic/numbskull teacher, nor your “cool” friends *whom you should ditch PRONTO if they don’t bring out the best in you*, nor your condescending/careless parents who rarely encourage you *hopefully that’s not your case…if it is, keep ya head up and keep reading…because this is for you mi amigo.* Not even your employer can stop you from reaching that higher ground...your higher ground.
You have to understand that life is a war…you’re fighting yourself even as you’re reading *this dude is rappin vs. this actually makes sense and could help me out later on*… and every decision you make is a battle. A war is not won in one single battle, especially the wars we still read about. Wars are a compilation of numerous, strategic battles. Life is war…your greatest ally…God…your greatest opponent…you. War…Life…strategies…decisions…numerous…decide…live…LIVE! *I say strategic because I know you’re really smart if you’re still reading this, and you’re one who thinks outside the box*
In cartoons, whenever someone is trying to make a decision, this angel and this devil *both resembling the person making the decision* appears on the person’s shoulders, and starts counseling the person on what to do. Although this is done for comedic purposes *and it IS kinda funny, as cliché as it is*, life is the exact same way. Both sides of you are competing for control. One side takes you to new heights, while the other side has the potential to take you to your lowest.
My better half tells me:
“God loves me…God is good to me...I am God’s child, a child of the kingdom, of the Most High…God knows me…I know me because I know the one who made me…I love who He made me to be…ain’t a damn thing the devil can tell me that’s gonna take the truth *my truth* away from me…nothing is too big for me to handle…God has my back...I’ll reap the benefits of my labor…God will bless me so that I may bless others...God has blessed/is blessing/will bless me...I am a blessing...i am a king.”
However, my other half sings a different tune:
“Life is too hard…I’m takin a break from everything…I’ll do my work tomorrow *but tomorrow is always a day away*…why should I get out of bed today?...Ain’t nothin I can do out of bed that I can’t do in bed *evil/nasty chuckle*...no one’s giving me a helping hand…why should I help them……forget God…if He loves me so much, where is He?…He doesn’t love me because I’m not worth His time…well, neither is He.”
Did you notice how one side connects me to God and all the ppl I love/hate, while the other side isolates me in a corner? *Hmm...cool lol* In that lonesome corner, I am in my angriest, greediest, proudest, ugliest state of mind...I am the "other" me. I don't usually take shortcuts, but that is def one corner that I'm willing to cut. *And you wonder why politicians and businessfolk act the way they do...they're cuttin the wrong corners*.
These discouraging voices are relentless, echoing thoughts of self-hatred, even on my worst days. But the day I recognized what my “other” half was actually doing to me is the day I made less room for my other half to breath; that way, he wouldn’t have any air to utter even a single word to me * hit him with that Chris Brown & Jordan Sparks business*.
I know that I am not the only one with a dark side because I'm mos def not the only guy on Satan's I'm Takin You Down with Me Sucka list. Every doubt we have, every degree of hatred, every envious stare, every moment we feel like giving up on all the things that are actually worth fighting for…we should recognize that our opponent putting in work. These are all aspects of our dark side, the “other” us. Never give in to the "other" you...EVER *I like you just the way you are...kinda lol*
No one but God knows you better than you know yourself, my friend, so you know your main opponent best. If you don't yourself, and more importantly, if you don't know God, you better find out quick lol. I would start talkin about Don't let anybody tell you who you are yada yada,"but this note is def long enough *keep readin it though*. ^_^
The less room you give to that voice, the more room you leave for positive, constructive self-analysis and improvement. Any time you tell yourself, “I’m not good enough,” switch your mentality ASAP, my friend, and open your eyes to what God sees. Take control of your thoughts and, instead, tell yourself, “They’ll see… I’ll work my butt off and become greater than any of them.” It's the folks who tell themselves the latter...folks who can encourage themselves when nothing is working for them…these are the folks you read about…the folks who defeated themselves in war. And by success, I mean fulfilling your goal(s). It matters not how lame it is to everyone else...it’s your goal…your dream…so don’t make it a dream deferred.
In this life, reality makes no room for your dreams. So tell reality to get the hell out of the way and make some damn room. Understand that the things you can see with those blessed eyes of yours are only temporary, but those things you cannot see (but are well aware of) are eternal. You are the inventor of your own reality, so make it what you will, my friend...Make of it what you will. And you should help others as you’re living the life you want to live…the life of greatness that God has destined you to live.
And you might as well make the world a better place, as jacked up as it is, because God blesses his children so that his children can bless others. By blessing others, you bless God. Don’t believe me? Well, let’s say someone helped your child get straight A’s. Wouldn’t you be grateful to that person? I would. ^_^
I pray that the Holy Spirit visits you as he/she/it has visited me, my friend. Keep ya head up while ya keepin the peace *deuces*
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Thank you my friend for saying what's on your heart. I knew this all along deep down but your blog has brought it to consciousness. I apologize to God most of the time if I have a bad thought. Like "oh, she's a skank" or something like that. But can you control what you think? Should I pray for forgivness? Should I especially when I have bigger things to worry about. Sins, that I truely am sinning and I know I am sinning. For instance, I smoke. And every time I take a puff I regret it. But I keep doing it. I have yet to figure out if that is satan taunting me or God keeping me. If it were God then he would truely keep riding me so that I may see the Glory Land, but God may not have myseslf call myself a hypocrite all the time. If Satan were telling me this just to make me feel bad that makes sense. It is true, you are your worst enemy! In actuality Satan is but through yourself Satan brings you down. Thank you for this blog!