Dear Bloggers,
I'm Chinese. I'm Chinese Canadian. I'm Chinese, but my father isn't from China, he's from British Hong Kong, and my mother too is chinese but she's from British Singapore. I'm Chinese, but I'm not really Chinese, because I have lived in Canada for all my life, and I don't speak Chinese. I'm not really sure what I am.
I feel that race for many people is both a cross and a flame. A cross because many people judge a person (poorly) on his or her race. This isn't much news. A flame because race brings culture, and culture brings safety, and strength. Even a small community of people sharing the same traditions brings joy and ease into ones life (pardon me for writing without giving direct references. I do this quite often. I have thought about this for a long time, but have forgotten all of my exact examples).
For me, race is there, but it isn't. I am Chinese. My eyes are slanted and my skin is more yellow than that of a caucasion. My hair is black and I feel a little shorter than a lot of people walking down the hallways of my school. But I'm not Chinese. I'm Canadian. What does that mean? I'm not sure, but it confuses me everyday.
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races exist while your living, but did you know they don't when you die. Everyone's skin turns black with decay. Sorry this is a little off topic but i thought it might help you feel better.
I don't feel bad. I feel proud that I'm Chinese. I feel proud to wear my supersuit that shows and nevertheless helps define who I am. But...I wish I could be more Chinese. And that I could be more Canadian. And I wish that people in the world wouldn't see me as "SO. You're Chinese!" but rather..."This is who I am. Who are you?"
[Did I just contradict myself?]
hmmm....
Just because you aren't in direct contact with your heritage doesn't mean you can't be proud or aware of where you've come from. I'm German-Scottish, and even though in the end it doesn't mean *much* to me, it means that my entire family and I DO love to get together and eat brautwurst with sauerkraut and spicy mustard. I think individually, heritage matters because everyone wants to belong on the most basic of levels, without the complexity of social groups. I don't think you should dwell to much on defining yourself based on your heritage though, since heritage is and will dilude more and more as the world becomes more integrated in most countries, there are much more important things to define yourself by.
On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur: L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
You can be whatever you want to be. If people ask you, "Are you Chinese?" You can either answer them, "Yes, I am." Or say "No, I'm Canadian." Or whatever you feel like. Some of my Thai friends who have been in America ever since they were born cannot speak Thai as smooth as I can, but they identify themselves as Thai. Some would even say they're American Thai or American Chinese. You can be whatever you want to be, just say it and people will get it!