To have sex, or to not have sex?
Growing up, I was never really taught much about sex. School, yeah. And the church, too. No sex until marriage, because that's the right thing to do.
But somehow (and correct me if I'm wrong), I think that it's really hard to uphold that ideal anymore. I mean, those rules were written into religion hundreds of years ago, and if I'm not mistaken, people then got married at much younger ages than they do today. The average American gets married at age 26. Back in the day, girls were usually married at 14 or 16, guys got married in their early 20's -- pretty much, everyone was marrying younger, and thus, was having sex at a much younger age.
So, is it still right for us to abide by those ancient precepts?
These days, for a lot of people, it's unrealistic to get married that early. People want to graduate high school. Then they want to go to college. Then they want to find the right person before settling down, and none of this mixes well with getting married early.
Don't get me wrong. I admire all the people who choose to be abstinent until they meet the right person. But at the same time, I can't help but feel that a lot of people simply abide by that rule out of pure fear -- whether of the church, of the unknown, or whatever else it may be.
Personally, I think that it's possible to have sex for all the right reasons, long before actually getting married. If you care about someone enough, you don't have to necessarily lock yourself onto that person for the rest of your life through marriage, do you? Why do we need somebody else to give us permission? Can't a couple decide for themselves whether they're ready or not?
Sex can be about more than just animalistic pleasure or procreation. I just wonder if some people really realize that or not. Sounds horrible to say it, but it seems like a lot of those pure abstinence folks are just naive.
I agree.
I once asked my biology teacher what he thought about having sex before marriage and he came up with this answer, "Well, I just don't think it's really HEALTHY to wait that long."
He's right.
I don't plan on getting married the second I get out of high school, or even college for that matter.
And if I believe that I'm mature enough, I don't see the problem.
Good post.
Note to self: reread post when not tired.
Nicholas Aden
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Choice Picks
Do what you think is morally right.
I choose to be abstinent until marriage.
But that doesn't mean you have to, and Im not going to condone you for your actions.
Just don't go romping around sexing it up with everyone and getting some sort of communicable disease or something...
Be smart about your actions.
Condone doesn't work there. You likely mean 'condemn'. Two very very different words.
~C
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As a someone who has a fettish with the english language. I think she had the right word. If she meant condone, she meant that she is not going to approve or say that having sex at a young age is the right thing to do. It would have worked just as well in that sentence, of course condemn would have made more sense, since she's not pro abstinence.
Do what you think is morally right.
I choose to be abstinent until marriage.
But that doesn't mean you have to, and Im not going to condone you for your actions.
As it is, she's saying that she made one choice, but it's the blogger's decision, and then she says she's not going to condone those actions. She's saying two different things in essence... The use of the word AND implies that it goes along with what she said in the first part of the sentence, which means it make even less sense. If she had used another conjunction, such as 'yet', 'but', etc, condone would work.
If I'M right, and she meant 'condemn', then she's saying that she made one choice, she wants the blogger to make their own decision, and she won't judge those actions, as long as the blogger remains responsible.
~C
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I really think mvenus is right.
----
You are the Voice of the Childwen of the Revowution! [Toulouse, Moulin Rouge]
And I second that emotion.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I third it and motion we move it to the polls... ;-)
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You would know Robert's rules of order. Goody two shoes.
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I was totally being a smart ass.
but also, I really do agree with mvenus' assessment. :-)
read my blogs!
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Some mistakes can't be undone/ it'll never be like it was/ and wishing for it only makes it worse
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He he... I love it when people agree with me. It makes me all warm and tingly inside.
~C
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You made a good point. Abstinence would make sense if people got married right when they hit puberty. That's obviously not the case anymore. I wonder how bad it is psychologically on people that practice abstinence when they're being force fed sexual imagery everywhere they look.
Also, what I find interesting now is that the most sexually irresponsible kids are those that've been told all their lives that sex is wrong. It's like drugs and alcohol. Some people never drink until they're 21, and then they get wasted because it's such a big deal to them.
It's all about Planned Parenthood education and safe sex.
Oh my gosh, it is not all about planned parenthood and abstinence is ridiculous to think about. If your going to condone safe sex than you are releasing sex thirsty teenagers to feeling approval on a behavior that isn't a 100% safe, just like using condoms! THEY DONT ALWAYS WORK!
Okay breathe, sorry you just ruffled my feather herrendously.
What I just want to tell you is that is that some people choose abstinence, stick with it for four years of dating in college and than have their first kiss on their wedding day. Call it torture, blue balling, stupid, ridiculous, whatever. It's possible! I think it'd be good to teach kids in school that its okay not to have sex, like the rest of their hornyass peers in middle school (thats when sex ed started for me). It's good to be taught to have somewhat of a conceince and be able to make good decisions so you dont end up pregnant at sixteen and have to take care of a kid without a career or education behind you!!!!!!! Of course if you do end up pregnant, you can always go to planned parenthood and kill whatever life is inside you.
People who have sex outside of marriage don't lack a conscience or the ability to make good decisions.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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But the reality is, many kids will not be satisfied with that, so kids have to be taught how to protect themselves if they decide to become sexually active. It is possible to teach both successfully.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
It wont murder you phycology not to be humping your gf or bf every night. In fact, you have the oppritunity to learn about self respect and get to learn what its like to love someone for who they are without filing your relationship with lust.
Hormones come and go, as a teenager, I dont need sex like I need food. I know some people think there lives would be awful without it, well it's not..it's normal only you dont worry half as much about beign pregnant.
Self-respect is a component of a healthy relationship, but having a physical relationship with your significant other doesn't mean forgoing self-respect, it just means incorporating boundaries into your physical relationship (i.e never doing what you're not comfortable doing).
People who have a physical relationship with their significant other don't really think they'd die without it, they just see it as an important and integral part of their whole relationship.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
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It is very difficult to have a relationship without any physical aspect to it, especially if you are the type of person that expresses love in a physical way. Having the sort of companionship that is present in the physical part of the relationship (note that I'm not just talking sex... just physical contact) is important to some people, because it means that you can have a relationship that isn't solely based on words.
Surprising as it may be for you, not everyone who has sex is consumed by lust... some people think about it, dread it, anticipate it, and see it as fulfilling the relationship... the ultimate expression of love that simply can't be done with words.
If you want to have a relationship where you don't have sex or kiss, or whatever, that's perfectly fine. But you shouldn't condemn those who do wish to make that a part of their relationship. It's not your decision at that point.
I personally never had to worry about getting pregnant, because if I had chosen to have sex with my boyfriend and ended up pregnant, we would have made the best of it. One of the girls in one of my classes had her first kid at 16. She's married to the father and has another kid now at 23, and she's still managing to follow her dreams. It's not the end of the world.
~C
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