Tonight was the night. I finally officially got accosted at church over my decision to go to prom. Oh, how hard it was not to bite this girl's head off, but I managed to restrain myself. It's always nice to maintain good relationships with your church peers, because otherwise, things could get icky.
I have been going to dances since I have been in public school. Granted, the elementary school ones were a joke, and the middle school ones were like debutante soirees, but the high school ones are just fun. I go to enjoy myself with people I genuinely like hanging out with, and to get my groove on a little. So sue me.
It's been a point of contention in my church, originally just between the teens and our teachers, but now it has escalated to a debate even between the teens. Over a year ago, our church acquired a new family, comprising of a mother, father, and five kids, the oldest currently being a freshman in college and the youngest being in I think the 6th grade. (I would die!) It wouldn't have been so bad, but they are some of the most insufferable people I have had the displeasure of meeting. They are the type of people that are constantly, whether they mean to or not, throwing their impeccable Christian lives right in everyones' faces. I find the most difficult one to deal with is the youngest girl, who is a freshman or sophomore and thinks she is the best thing since peas and carrots. They are all homeschooled, which means that they are also constantly making derogatory comments about public school, like how hard it must be for us to deal with all the negative influences and even going as far to say, (this coming from the eldest daughter,) that you are not a good parent if you don't homeschool. Oh, boy. Better not tell Mom that one.
I had the misfortune of having their father as a Sunday School teacher, who seemed to think the best way of teaching us was to show Microsoft Powerpoint presentations with practically a hundred slides in the dark classroom until you wanted we all wanted to rip our eyeballs out and our ears off. (Except for his kids, who probably under threat of severe beating were paying rapt attention to every word that came out of his big mouth.)
Then came the day that I made the mistake of asking the coordinator of our Teen Banquet- which is our prom alternative that we invite other Churches of Christ to- not to schedule it on the weekend of the 6th of May. Of course, he asked why, and I just had to tell him it was because I had prom that weekend. I honestly did want to go to the Banquet, but come on- I've been planning to go to prom since middle school. This set off Mr. High-and-Mighty into a tirade ennumerating the reasons I shouldn't go to prom. Meanwhile, I only halfway heard what he said between making faces at June across the table and the strange buzzing that seemed to fill my ears. I go up to church not the slightest bit changed in my decision, and don't really think about it much
Until a few weeks later. Appearing on our class table were two things: a pamphlet called "Should Christians Dance?" and a flier for the Banquet- scheduled on the 6th of May. Ok, I thought to myself, that's the way they want to play, that's fine with me. They want to make me choose, I'll choose- Prom. Not even a debate. I actually looked at the pamphlet, and just about died laughing. There was one sub heading titled "Dancing is dangerous because it often leads to sex." Well, as I remarked to June, who is also a public schooler, I cannot remember a time I have been dancing and haven't had sex afterwards. Jeez, wanna be a little more presumptuous? A "fact" unearthed by researchers- orphanages report an increase in unwanted babies nine months after prom time. I just can't even believe this; if anything, there would be a surplus of unwanted babies in AUGUST, due to the fact that many teens think it would be a great Christmas gift to give their virginity. And that is also a survey-drawn fact. (Not the theory of August, just the Christmas virginity gifts.) It also commented that pretty much all dances are sexual in basis. Again, I remarked to June, being the smart mouth that I am, I get really hot watching guys dance the chicken dance and the robot. (I'm sure guys feel the same way about watching girls do those dances, too!)
But to get back to the opening sentence, I got accosted by the younger girl, who is the one I really can't stand. Dialogue time!
Her: (Holding up the dancing pamphlet) So, have you read this?
Me: Uh, yeah.
Her: Well, what did you think about it?
Me: I thought it was pretty funny, actually.
Her: I think it's pretty serious.
Me: Well, you're entitled. But I think Allen Webster was full of crap with this one.
Her: (After a gasp at my use of the word 'crap') So, are you still going to that dance?
Me: Yep, I'm still going to prom.
Her: Do you think Jesus wants you to go to prom?
Me: Um, honestly, I don't care. I don't think it's wrong, and seeing as he hasn't given me a personal consultation, I'm going.
Her: Well, would you take Jesus WITH you to prom?
Me: (Wanting SO badly to say, Well, as long as he matches his tux to my dress..) Depends... he could come if he wanted. He's already everywhere anyway, so I guess that problem's settled.
Her: (Slightly flustered and brandishing the pamphlet like a shield to save herself from my sinning self) You should really reread this, and think really hard about whether he wants you to go.
Me: (Thinking, In your dreams, you stupid girl) Yeah, sure. (Walking away)
Can you believe this girl? Where does she think she gets off? I just need to tell her sometime soon, especially if she's dumb enough to bring it up again, There is absolutely nothing short of a fatal accident or a family death that is going to keep me from going to prom, and you might as well just give up and go back to the little rock that you live under. Oh, and make sure you do a little door-knocking on your way there. Maybe somebody will curse you out and you'll choke on your own spit during a particularly violent scandalized gasp, and have to be rushed to an emergency room, where I'll pay someone to "accidentally" rip out your voicebox and... Oh, sorry, Got a little carried away. But not much.
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Holy wow.
That's what I have to say to that.
I'd tell that girl to go back to the 1800's where she belongs.
Interesting. I can't stand anyone who tries to throw their beleives in my face, no matter what they are, but especially if they are religious. (It tends to add an extra bit of pompousness.)
These people sound like Calvanists (or some rip off of Calvanists). That's the only sect I know of that bans dancing.
As for their "research", that's just insulting to people's intellegence. And, while I suppose I could be wrong, to the best of my knowledge, vindictive, petti-mindedness is supposed to be part of the Christian faith.
"Every man makes a god of his own desire."
-Virgil
You're really patient. I wouldn't stand for some kid tell talking like a condescending little brat to me. I hate it when people try to push their religion in my face (especially if it's mine!!) and my blood pressure shoots up when they start acting superior becaseu of it.
Christians aren't supposed to dance? Did we go back in time without me knowing it? Lol, this post was really amusing, you've got patience that I certainly don't have. Have fun at prom and keep thinking for yourself!
-JP
Wow I am going to have to learn to dance.....
So the alternative is a banquet. Don't they know gluttony is one of the deadly sins?????
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Those who know everything have learned little from life.
I particularly like the comment about needing to learn to dance. But yes, I did end up going and funny enough, I didn't have sex, get drunk, or wake up not knowing where I was. I got home at 5 AM that Sunday morning after the After Prom party, and I went to church four hours later. Not to toot my own horn, but that seems pretty Christian to me.
Wow, thats just ridiculous. If dancing leads to sex, then I guess I should have lost my virginity a thousand times over by now.
Not to mention, how can they ask people to miss prom? Just about every parent I know agrees that its a once in a lifetime thing, and something that you "have to go to".
-Dan
That's ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. I'm speechless...
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"Dancers are instruments, like a piano the choreographer plays." ~George Balanchine
*Tatiana Romanov
Oh, yeah. My mom was perfecty alright with prom, and I quote: "You're allowed to go if you want. You're a junior and old enough to make your own decision about this."