If you're gonna just yell at me for not paying attention to the real issues...go ahead. I have tough skin. Not tough enough to stop some of Cheney's buckshot, but tough.
Comedians around the United States had a field day with Dick Cheney. From "Cheney's Got a Gun" on Slate.com to Letterman, everywhere you looked on TV or on the internet you find a Dick Cheney hunting/shotgun joke.
The Daily Show, of course, had great coverage of the incident. C&L has the video. Jon Stewart pointed out that Whittington was the first man since Alexander Hamliton to be shot by a sitting Vice President. "Hamilton, of course, shot in a duel with Aaron Burr over issues of honor, integrity and political maneuvering. Whittington? Mistaken for a bird." Ed Helms reported from 'outside the hospital' where Whittingtin is recovering (yes, he's recovering, which is what makes all these jokes funny).
But the best was Rob Corddry, the man who replaced Stewart when he was out. Corddry, as the resident 'Vice Presidential Firearms Mishap Analyst', described the incident in the same way as Cheney and the administration describe the War on Terror and War in Iraq.
Tonight, the Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year old man, even knowing that today, Mr Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr Whittington in the face.
[...]
He believes the world is a beter place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Whittington's face.
Stewart asked Corddry why the VP still would have done it, knowing what he knows now.
In a post-9/11 world, the American people expect hteir leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend int eh face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
And a small jab at the talk on the domestic spy scandal.
The mere fact that we're even talking about [this] is letting the quail know how we're hunting them.
This wasn't the only late night show to make fun of Cheney. Letterman did his trademark stand up routine, most of it about Mr Cheney's...incident.
Good news, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have finally located weapons of mass destruction - it's Dick Cheney.
[...]
So, over the weekend, the Vice President wants to go bird hutnign, he was going quail hunting or duck hunting or soemthing like that. And, you know, horseplay, how that breaks out while you are out huntin'. One thing leads to another and he shoots his buddy. But here's the sad part. Before the trip, Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor.
[...]
We couldn't get bin Laden, but we nailed a 78 year old attorney!
And, of course, the inevitable Top Ten list:
Top Ten Dick Cheney Excuses
10. Heart palpitation caused trigger finger to spasm.
9. Wanted to get the Iraq mess off the front page.
8. Not enough Jom Beam.
7. Trying to stop the spread of the bird flu.
6. I love to shoot people.
5. The guy was making cracks about my lesbian daughter.
4. I thought the guy was trying to go gay cowboy on me.
3. I hit him didn’t I.
2. Until democrats approve medicare reform we have to make some tough choices for the elderly.
1. Made a Bet With Gretsky’s Wife.
Classic. Letterman is my favorite late night host.
Then, there's Leno. Well, you can't say he doesn't try.
There was so much snow in Washington DC that Dick Cheney actually shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear.When people found out he shot a lawyer, his popularity [went up to] 92 percent.
There were some other ones...but Leno ain't that good of a comedian.
Craig Ferguson had these things to say about the incident in his unique monologue:
It's a great day for America...if you don't agree with me, I'll shoot you in the face!
[...]
Dick Cheney was on a hunting trip this weekend and "accidently" shot his 78 year old lawyer buddy in the face. Now look, this type of thing is what we call in the late night comedy world...a lob This is a softball ...
[...]
The big scandal apparently is that they didn't release the information for 18 hours. I don't think it's a scandal. Finally, there's a secret that the President's office can keep. The reason they didn't release the information right away, they said, ' we had to get the facts right.' That's never stopped them in the past! ...What about Fox News, this [is] a whole network dedicated to 'who cares about the facts!'
Even Jimmy Kimmel uttered a rare funny "It's been a long time since there's been a shooting we can all laught at."
It's like Regis said on Letterman: "Well that will keep you going all week."
Hilarious post and you inject creep Leno??? --Favorite??? How embarrassing for you. That biased right-winger hasn't said anything funny since...since...hmm --Ever. When has he said anything that wasn't demeaning to someone? It Isn't amusing to make fun of someone's body, face, handicap. Only thing worse: bomb-maker GE that hired him, helped shove US into Iraq; NBC that allowed him to put 3rd-rate "actor" on air --without giving time to other candidates. THAT'S how you like media? Big O fan of Fox "News" are ya? Or: he's your favorite cuz you also haven't evolved past bathroom and body fluid references. What's your address --so we can all steer clear.
I only watch Leno, so don't badmouth him!
"I went hunting with the V-P and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"lol! thats funny!
Tonight, the Vice President is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. Now, according to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year old man, even knowing that today, Mr Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr Whittington in the face.
hahahaha that literally made me laugh out loud. There's a picture my dad sent me of this T-shirt that's full of bullet holes and it reads "I went hunting with the Vice President and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"
I might be Republican but that is funny as hell. And I agree with Jimmy Kimmel. Good blog!
"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity"
-Albert Einstein
you did forget to mention the Pristine Birdshot that passed through whittington's body no less than 5 times, coming to rest in his heart, of all places, where nobody can reach it.
it took them 3 hours to try and extract it, but in th end cheney was too drunk to find it.
I guess that people are just supposed to ignore the facts because this was hunting accident. Until I hear all the facts, this person is not.
Wouldn't you know that Cheney will be running off to Fox news to tell his story. I wonder why no other media was chosen also.
Anyone can easily tell that what he said happened and what his so-called friend said what happened are two different stories. Cheney, in the police report, says that he turned counterclockwise before he shot. His friend said that he turned to the right. Cheney says this happened on Saturday. His friend says it happened on Friday. Cheney says he had a beer with his lunch. Now I wonder if it was just one beer or how many ounces did it contain. Did he have any food while he was drinking?
Couldn't you just see this happening with daddy Bush telling Reagan that he shot his friend in the face?
I wrote a post about the discrepencies in the Cheney story over on my normal blog. I didn't get everything, but enough.
It's been suggested that Jimmy Carter's "killer rabbit" spooked Cheney.
Don't worry. I'm slightly older than you guys and I had to Google that one.
when i saw "Killer Rabbit" I thought of Monty Python.
Come on leave Cheney alone he is a good man with a bad heart...in the physical sense. He has a lesbian daughter he loves for gosh sakes. HE didn't shoot the guy on purpose, he was trying to kill a defenseless bird.
Dick Cheney is the greatest Vice President we've ever had and I'm voting for him in '08.
Nothing about the so called "Accident" seems to measure up. Everything is all a bit to patchy.
Reporters keep questioning why it took so long for the White House to reveal the accidental shooting of a hunting buddy by Vice President Dick Cheney. Fact is, Vice President Cheney did call the White House right away but Scott McClellan had to wait for the transcript from the NSA.
I'm not sure if this is a joke about NSA wiretapping, if so, a little too subtle for me.
But the Pres wasn't told til 3 hours later.
Dick Cheney Shoots Wrong Man
by CONSPIRACY PLANET
"I wanted to give Scalia a reminder about who he works for," said Vice President Big Dick Cheney, "but he backed out of this hunting trip. He's more of a wimp than I thought."
http://www.conspiracyplanet.com/channel.cfm?channelid=104&contentid=3209
That show is the best. it should be on network tv.
I have not seen any references to Scalia and Cheney's Duck hunting trip with him. I would think that liberals would no longer complain about Cheney going on Duck Hunting trips with Scalia.