I came home over the weekend since my younger brother needed some assistance in his errands. Last night I was going through some books in my bedroom and came across my senior yearbook. I went through most of the book for once. I can't believe it was all two years ago.
When I say I can't believe it, I mean it feels like it has been far longer than two years ago. I spot a picture of me at Halloween. I always got so into the holiday... a little too into it. I also saw a few classes I was familiar with, and teachers I knew well. It boggles my mind that I once was right there.
I go through the senior quotes and see my classmates like Chris Ahrenberg and Kirk Baker quoting the Will Ferrel movie, "Anchorman". Chris had "When in Rome..." and Kirk had "60% of the time it works everytime." God, I miss those days.
I miss those days, but I wouldn't want to relive them. That's the past. There's no sense in dwelling in it. While there were so many good times, there were also so very many troubled times.
High school is the period in one's life where they go through the most suffering. From peer pressure to puberty, nothing is spared. High school is full of awkward moments and you'd bask in the idea that you made it through. It's really four straight years of consecutive awkward moments, one after the other.
If I could go back today though, and take some classes all over again, still, I wouldn't. The administration has completely changed. Many of the faculty I respected have left, and all of my closest friends and preferred acquaintances are gone.
When you think about what makes high school so great for you, it's never the classes or even the effort you put forth. It's the people around you that you know you can fall back on when times are tough. It's those who get you through it... not because they're there for advice. Most of the time, they don't even know they've helped you. It's because they're company is appreciated, and you know your company is as well.
It's those times when you've had a rough day and would rather curl up in a corner and cry, but then they casually crack a joke and you can't help but laugh. They don't have to be a great friend of your's. They don't have to be part of your clique at all. They could just be decent people you've become occustomed to and that one line they're known for could turn your day around.
Two long, distant years ago. Barely a memory now. History, more or less. You spend all your years eager to get through it all just to spend the years after thinking back about it... dwelling about it. Weeks before graduation I expected to be upset that it was all over. I figured it wouldn't even be out of the ordinary if I was to shed a tear.
None of that happened. I didn't cry. I wasn't upset at all. I think in reality, I was in shock. I couldn't believe it was all over. It didn't register. Now, looking back in my yearbook, it's now certain that it is all over... and yes, I did shed a tear. I shedded a few. That was another life for me. Now, here I am, finally able to let go of some powerful, significant times in my life.
I look forward, and I see the rest of my college career, after college and my future, permanent career, marriage, family, house... adolescence is over. Now it's time to step up to the plate and be aware that I am in fact up at bat. If I strike out, I'll strike out swinging.
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