I do not understand what makes men think it is women's responsibility to do the housework. Most women don't even like cleaning! I don't like doing housework. I would rather go work outside in sand and storm than clean.
It's like the society constructed this idea that women are meant to do house chores while men go look for jobs. Thank God the world changed a little. Now, many more women have representable jobs and some men actually stay home. I like that idea very much. Maybe men should learn how to give birth too. Just Kidding.
Even so, I come home everyday and if I don't take out the garbage or something...my parents would say something like, "You're a girl. You HAVE to do housework or else men won't want to marry you." And I'm just thinking, men don't care if I do house chores or not. They just want to have sex or something at the beginning of the relationship. But if I get married and have to live with my "husband," I expect us to share housework responsibility.
How come no one calls this sexism? I hear the word, "traditions" a lot when I bring this up. I'm starting to think maybe the people who initiated the "traditions" were sexist...since most of them were males anyway. I don't hate men, even though it sounds like I do. I just don't like it what they get too conceited that they have power because they're...well...men.
Traditional gender stereotypes, media portrayals and religious implications truly are the 3rd wave of feminism that women still haven't conquered. Hopefully I'll be posting my semester essay on my thoughts about the situation soon.
On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur: L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
My husband, as much as I love him, infuriates me when it comes to house cleaning. His mom always did all the cooking and cleaning and that was just how it was in their house. The men didn't have to do it and weren't expected too. It was "mom" work. So, trying to express to him that housework is a shared responsibility in a marriage is like talking to a brick wall. He'll nod in agreement, but as soon as the conversation is finished, it's as if it never happened.
I don't give him much too do (mainly because I'm a clean freak and he thinks shoving his mess under the bed, stacking it all in a pile, or only cleaning the obviously needs to be cleaned spots, he's done his job). If he takes out the trash, does his laundry and cleans up his own messes I'm happy. But still, if I don't tell him to take the trash out, he'll let it just sit there and pile up. If I don't tell him to pick up his things from the middle of the floor, they sit there. It drives me insane and he can't fathom why I shouldn't have to tell him to do the same things every single day.
If men can help make the messes, they ought to be able to help clean them up, tradition be damned.
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~Fallon~
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something." Henry David Thoreau
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In my family, and my mom's, cooking and cleaning fell to the eldest daughter (both her and myself). Because of this, the kitchen has always been MY room - I have control over it, I decide who's in there when I'm cooking, I organize it, etc. However, once her boyfriend moved in with us about three years ago, I've suddenly lost my room. Now, the cooking is split up evenly, depending on what's for supper and the cook's ability: he runs the grill and cooks fish, I make oven and stovetop things (chicken, pork chops, pasta, hamburger helper), my mom makes homemade stroganoff and chicken noodle (though I usually have to skin and debone the chicken -ugh), one sister makes lasagna and most of the other things I make, my sisters both do most of the dessert making, and everybody (though this usually falls to my sisters) makes simple things like macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, canned soup, microwave stuff, etc. I stil feel robbed, though, though I'm glad cleanup is now a shared task.
Women dont have to its just traditional. My dad works at home and he winds up doing most of the house work.
I just came across this blog today and do have a comment to add. The subject is the comment.
Just for the record, I am the only one in my house to do the following: Laundry, Dishes, Garbage, Lawn Mowing, Bathroom, Kitchen, Cleaning both vehicles, maintaining both vehicles.
I share the following: Cooking (about a 75-25 split, me in the 75% range), cleaning the Livingroom, Master Bed, Playroom, and the Kid's bedroom.
I take the baby with me to drop off the 4 yr old at Pre-K. She takes the 5 yr old to school. I pick the 4 yr old back up at 11.
I have never balked about changing diapers, cleaning or feeding the kids (I have 5 girls and 1 boy). They are after all, mine too.
I work full-time as a nurse and own my own Process Serving company (and I am currently studying full time) and she works part-time as a janitor and is currently nearly finished with fulfilling her obligation as a surrogate mom.
There is no reason why a man can't do housework! And any man that gives an excuse is lazy in my eyes. Marriage and all relationships in general are 50/50, and if you want to make it a good relationship, you sometimes have to do more than the 50% on your side. The other side will make it up to you. Now, be a Real Man and get the dishes done and quit your whining about it!
Yours in Crisis,
ER Adam
the only way to show men that they're capable of doing house work too is if women dissappeared. Impossible, so this traditional thought of women doing housework will always be enacted.
A lot of males not only perform "women's" house work, but don't mind or enjoy it. Women certainly don't need to dissapear to cause all men to share an equal responsibility, but certain women should learn it's not their obligation to do all housework, and certain men should realize they should help in household duties. I think the dynamic will be unique to each family because of who the working member is. If both members work, it should obviously be a fairly distribute load. If the woman works, the man obviously has more time to take care of certain household chores, and vice-versa.
On ne voit bien qu'avec le coeur: L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
i will not apologize for this i will not marry anyone who expects me to do all the houswork
i hate housework, i dread it!!! its not fun and hate it very much.
i love sports, i love electronics, i am not feminine in any way
then again i am 34
ugly and fat
marriage is not a given
and to be honest
people should assume one wont get married
and if they do then be surprised
i have never been in relationship
i cant have kids
i dont want intimacy
sex is number one reason i dont want to marry
a close second is houework
poeple say marriage is hard work
hmm could it be all the houswork!!!!!
i too wonder who decided that women do the housework
cooking etc
really
why
why not men
i do care
it should be 50/50
and also this isnt the 1800s anymore
or ealry 1900s
heck 1950s
and june cleaver was tv characer
and so was alice nelson on brady bunch
men if you want a woman to cook and clean for you
hire a female maid!!!!!
In my house I do 90% of the cooking. And I am a VERY good cook. The only thing I usually won't do is bake. We both work but these days my wife puts in a lot more hours than I do. I am semi-retired.
My wife does light cleaning and I sometimes help. The cleaning lady comes every two weeks and does the heavy stuff. We sometimes do yard work together and the vegetable garden is a mutual labor of love. But my wife has NEVER volunteered to mow the lawn. What's up with that?