I have noticed that divorce is becoming more popular. Im not saying that this is a bad thing but mearly stating that its there. I guess people arnt in it for the long run anymore. Yeah people do change over time but isnt marriage about making it work? I guess not anymore. I know alot of families that have divorced parents - kids splitting up the weekends between the parents and dividing up the holidays. It's a different way of life.
My parents have known each other since the first grade and are still to my knowledge happliy married. But the parents arround me arnt so happy my aunt is divorced as is my neghibor. I can't even begin count how many friends have divorced parents. It is alarming.
But at the alter do our vows mean nothing? What has it come to? Are people's intentions even for the long run or jsut for a few years? I cant tell. I also wonder is divorce just a fad or a trend - somethign that will stay arround. Before divorce wasnt alloud by the church - dont agree with that. It's just alraming to me the amounts of divorce and the fact that they are increasing. What do you think? Is this troubling to you? Are your parents divorced? - Jennee
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When my parents got married, they viewed themselves as having two options: either a) communicate, put each other's needs ahead of their own, and make it work, or B) be miserable. They have never viewed divorce as an option. They were, however, very careful about making the decision to get married, so they were confident going into married life with such a bold idea.
Divorce needs to be available in ceratin cases: I would say mainly infidelity and abuse. I would choose these because they both threaten the health of one or both of the partners, and/or the children (infidelity can be worked through by people who really love each other, but if it continues, and one partner starts bringing diseases back to the faithful spouse, divorce could be viable).
When divorce first became widely accepted (maybe the 70s? I'm not sure), people really underestimated the damage it would do to children. People hide it or recover from it with varying degrees of success, but I have not yet met a child of divorced parents who wasn't very hurt by the event. It makes me very skeptical of any other "improvements" on marriage that society touts, selfishly answering the children question with, "oh, they'll be fine."
Divorce in and of itself is more devastating than the statistics are alarming. It is no secret that divorce rates have been on the rise for several years. There are many contributing factors. States have made getting out of a marriage too easy. People do not go into a marriage anymore thinking, "You know what, I'm going to MAKE this work. . no mater what." It is more the mentality of; "If this DOESN'T work. . I can always get a divorce."
It has been studied by both Sociologists and Psychologists; the most stressing and devastating events in a person's life, that they will/could go through are death and divorce. Neither are a walk in the park whether children are involved or not. It is far worse when there ARE children involved. And it isn't much consolation even if it is an amicable divorce.
The family unit is not looked at in the same context as it has been in generations past. Family's used to live close together and when there were problems, they helped each other out. Many families are spread out these days due to job changes, military families, etc. and the support systems just are not as prevalent as they used to be.
All in all, there are no winners in divorce. I don't care what anyone tells you. . . you may think you know everything there is to know about a person before you marry them. . . NOT TRUE. People need to keep in mind that each person holds parts of themselves that they do not share. Everyone is capable of things that you would least expect given the opportunity. One has to have the strongest of commitment to the other person and be given the room to grow as a person as well as growing as a couple. You need to like the individual as a person before you love them but. . . most of all, you need to love yourself before you can love someone else.
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"Truths Are The Roots To Trust"
I think divorce is a hard issue for children to understand and sometime make them wonder if it was there fault, but it is never true. I think divorce effect the child in many was like grades start to decline and many more.
Marriage is a symbolic piece of steamy s***. It really doesn't mean anything at all. Think: one can be perfectly faithful to a person(s) without having a ceremony to say so.
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No matter what your thoughts on marriage are; once married, divorce is/was the issue.
Even if a couple chooses not to go through a ceremony a become 'legally bound' and children are involved, the breaking up of that union is still just as devastating if they have been together for a lengthy period of time. A legal document has no bearing on the psyche of those involved, especially children.
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"Truths Are The Roots To Trust"
I ask, because (statistically speaking), the rates of divorced in the U.S. have been slowing DECLINING ever since the early eighties. The statistical rate of divorce peaked at 41% in 1980, and now sits somewhere around 30% (It was 31% in 2002, and continues to drop a little bit more each year).
percivale
In general looking over a larder time span. Yes it has ups and downs but like the stock market it is constantly going up over time.
- Jennee
" You cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might get what you need"
How long of a time span are you talking about? Divorce has been a legal reality in many cultures since ancient times. The Greeks (especially the Athenians) had a very liberal view of divorce, and while the exact statistics are not known, the practice is commonly apparent in the art and history of that region. The Romans on the other hand had a more conservative view of divorce, with correspondingly fewer references.
As you say, the rates tend to go up and down. Nevertheless, it would seem that your original claim, i.e. that "divorce is becoming more popular," is still incorrect, since we currently in a downward trend, and have been for roughly the last quarter century.
percivale
When I was in junior high, the number of couples that got divorced was consitently reported to me as %50. Now, the number of couples that get divorced is consitently reported to me as %60.
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"Lord, make my words as sweet as honey, for tomorrow, I may have to eat them."
The NCHS (From the National Center for Health Statistics) tracks marriage and divorce rates in the U.S....
Marriage and Divorce
* Number of marriages: 2,230,000
* Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population
* Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm
Seems we have a bit of a double-edged sword here or at least both of you are right in a sense. While it may look as though divorce rates are down, the real culprit is that marriage rates are down as well. Apparently down 50% since the 1970's.
People are preferring to stay single and due to the fact that women are more able to enjoy financial freedom than in the past. The times they are a chang'in! If you care to, you can read the latest article from a Yahoo writer on this very topic;
http://health.yahoo.com/experts/menlovesex/22610/are-women-too-aggressive
While the writer focuses more on what men see as attractively aggressive and not, he does state some of the reasoning (or ideas) behind why individuals are staving off commitment to another. Not such a bad thing in my book but not for the reasons he states.
I can see one wanting to finish their education; females wanting to become financially independent first; making as sure as possible that they've chosen the right partner, etc. Although, I have seen the pendulum swing too far in that many simply have become selfish or worse, purposely choose to find an already married person to become involved with to make their life 'easier' or 'safer'. This touches on morality issues and the overall mindset of the generation as a whole.
I personally prefer that my daughters hold off on even the thoughts of marriage until they have finished their education; are financially independent; and have had a chance to experience life in general. Luckily, they too feel this way. Unfortunately they have seen far too many failed marriages and I think fear plays a factor as well.
You may want to read the article and develop your own thoughts.
IRISH SAYING
"Though there's no bone in a man's tongue it has frequently broken a man's head.'
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"Truths Are The Roots To Trust"
I don't think that our vows mean anything anymore, especially when it comes to finances because my parents are divorced because my mother divorced my father because he never told her about how much trouble they were in, financially because he didn't want to worry her.