Today I saw the movie last holiday and it got me thinking, the reality is most of us can't sell off everything we own and hop on a plane but what a deal it would be huh?
I sware I am suppose to be mom , warden and care giver. I am so sick of everyone not pulling their weigt because they think I will pull it for them if they don't.They say wow you are so pure because you don't drink and don't smoke and hold it all together ,Have they looked at me? Do I look like i have anything together?I am leaning just like you. I am fighting to live every day just like you. I wake up and say wow yesterday was bad but today is good.Today I have control over my decisions and my actions. Now I just have to get up LOL
I am sick of people whining because they hate their life. I didn't like mine so I am changing it.
If you don't like your life CHANGE IT ONLY YOU CAN!!!
I don't know if you think whining is going to make someone take pitty or say poor you or what..Are you just reaffirming in your head all that is bad with your life?
As I previously wrote I was agoraphobic. I felt like a failure and i lived for the next TV show to take my mind off my pitiful life.I could have stayed there for 20 years like some people have. Stepping out that first time was one of the hardest things i have ever done.I was violently shaking, vomitting and sometimes was so scared I peed on myself.I can write that now because I feel it has an impact on the power of fear. Can anything you do in your life be any worse than that?
I can think of some like handing your baby over when you know you can't take care of them.God knows that is a bridge i couldn't cross. I knew I couldn't provide for either of my children at the time but I wouldn't hand them over either. I was going to fight this and fight for them.
I did it; I left the house.It was a baby step process two steps forward one back. Now I started college. The night before i cried and shook and threw up. I am now in my 7th class.I am on the honor roll. I drive where I want to go. If I looked back I know i would turn to salt like lot's wife in the bible.I know I can NEVER look back and stay there again.
What am I saying? You aren't defined by your past.Keep your eyes on the future and do not give yourself the opportuniy to think about where you have been. Only think about where you are going from here.You were a different person then when you move ahead you are born into a new role.
I remember the days I failed and had to call 911. I cried and apologized over and over to the paramedics and the hospital.The same people I once ran with when I volunteered to EMT. One thing about panic is I could keep a level head in any emergency but when I thought about it I lost it.
Once I drove into town and couldn't make it back.I tried and tried. I sat in the ER parking lot and was too ashamed to go in.I remember how black the hole i was sitting in looked like.
The movie tonight reminded me of how I felt when I decided I was going to be free or die trying.Its like anything else in life you want to do but allow time and fear and doubt to hold you back. I still catch myself thinking hmmm I better not do that I may not be able to make it back from here.
My friend is in the hospital right now and is very sick. I was angry at her for somehing she has done. She was diagnosed with cancer and walked away from her 3 todler sons.I forgave her and I hope she can forgive me for what I have done. No one is worth holding a grudge against. Life is too short to remind yourself you are still mad for something the had done in the past.When people know better they do better. You don't know what you would have done in that situation.
We aren't always going to make great decisions.DO NOT SIT AROUND AND KICK YOURSELF FOR THE BAD ONES!
When you keep a grudge against a person who is it hurting? Who caries that every day? That person? Nope
YOU
Why must we learn these lessons only after a sentence of death?
never heard about this. whats teh source