I have put off writing about this since I have been on here because in reality the word Anxiety makes me anxious, but I figured I would give it a shot. Many people have questioned a person's sanity when not really understanding the situtation they are going through. I have had anxiety since I was 15 years old (5 years)
Everyone gets anxiety from time to time, but having Generalized anxiety,OCD, Social Anxiety,Panic Disorder, and agoraphobia are no where even close to just having the normal occassional anxiety.
I have went through life realizing I wasn't normal...I understand some people aren't normal without having a disorder, but that is besides the point.
I have been to many points in my life where I have felt like I was going to have a heart attack or even die because I felt like my heart would surely stop at any moment. I have felt like this world isn't real, or I wasn't real, I have felt like I could just go crazy at any point.
But everyone must understand that people with anxiety will not harm anyone. They feel as though they don't have control over what their body is doing, and in reality they really don't. They feel as though they will go crazy, but it doesn't come to that.
Anxiety is one of the most common "mental illnesses" which of course, women being the prime subject. This could be because women (sorry guys) use both sides of their brain. an ambidexterix person also use both sides of their brains (meaning the ability to use both right and left arms and/or legs)
To better understand someone with anxiety I will do an exercise with anyone who is willing. Think of a red dot...a red dot....this dot is very red. Keep thinking of that red dot. Wait..stop thinking about that red dot...really just stop... Don't think about the red dot. The red dot doesn't exist anymore.
That exercise may not bother some people, but it bothers me.
Alot of people will go through life just thinking that they are crazy but not tell anyone about having anxiety because they feel like they can actually control it. People may feel that it is something in their head and are scared it may be a bigger issue. This disorder is genetic or can be developed due to a stressful envirnoment.
People would tell me just stop worrying. So I would try to stop worrying. This did not help. so I kept hearing the below comments frequently from friends and family:
" It is not that hard to stop worrying just stop." (trust me I can't!!)
" This is all in your head." ( Yeah it is a chemical inbalance but I am not making it up!)
" Your a women, women worry alot anyway this could be it." ( I don't think evil like some women so my worrying is not because of this trust me.)
" You will be fine just go into that store with 1,000's of people hovering around you." ( I will pass)
" Why do you just want to hang out with me and not in a group." (because I don't know those people and I would be fine just hanging out with you)
" Why won't you go to parties and why when you go you drink heavily?" ( Because parties means people, people I don't know and I drink heavily at them so I can blame any lame mistake on drinking, I have no excuse if I am sober)
" Why do sudden noises scare you." ( anxiety makes me jumpy and I startle easily)
By the way I don't like parties and don't go to them anymore or drink heavily period. But you may be suffering from anxiety or panic disorder and not even want to realize it. Here are some symptoms:
Heart palpatations
upset stomach
sweating
Execessive worrying that occurs on more days than not lasting for hours and is over a period of 6 months or more.
Feelings of being "unreal" like you don't exist ( like being "detached" from the world)
Panic attacks
trembling/shaking
shortness of breath (I feel sometimes like I can't breathe at all)
chest pain
chocking feeling
Dizziness
Being unable to think mind goes "blank" often
Chills or hot flashes
Restlessness
Easily tired
irriable
sleep problems
Some of these are associated with either panic disorder or Generalized anxiety. The difference you may ask? Generalized anxiety is difficult to control worrying and it last for a very long time. Panic disorder is worrying about having a panic attack, having many panic attacks. Lucky for me I have both but don't have panic attacks very often.
Antidepressants can work to control anxiety but I have not found any effective at doing so for me. The only thing I have found to be effective is to try and keep busy constantly so there is no time to worry, or drugs like Xanax. Xanax is a quick drug and is addictive. But this depends on your personality in my opinion. If you know how to set boundries with drugs like these than you should be fine. But of course I would never recommend this because there are people who have an addictive nature.
Last but not least one tip I have found helpful. If you get anxious around people when shopping put on a walkman or ipod or whatever music source you have. So what if you look stupid. You can focus on the music and not realize the people are even there.
Hope this helps!
This makes me wonder if that's my problem. I've just been calling it paranoia, but I get really panicky and freaked out when I have to be around a lot of people, when I have to go someplace new and big by myself, or just at the thought of those two things. I knew it was stupid, but when I had to fly to Chicago by myself, where my dad was supposed to meet me at the airport, and he told me I needed to take a taxi to his hotel instead, I was nearly in tears about having to get in a taxi. It was weird, that I couldn't help but be freaked out.
And then there are times when I get rally stressed that I reach a point where I don't feel anything at all. Like I'm just...existing. I dunno....
In any case, i can sympathize with knowing there's something not quite right about yourself, and no one understanding and thinking you're just being over-dramatic or something. It's hard, it stinks, but hey...there's not much we can do about it, you know?
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
I too have dealt with panic and anxiety for many years. I have been able to overcome it though. You know on the movie A Beautiful Mind when he realizes that he is seeing people that aren't there and he chooses not to talk to them anymore? Well, I saw that I had a panic problem and I chose not to let it own me. I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true. It was a long, hard road but it worked. I still get panicky once in a while but that's only about once or twice a year. I quit living my life because i didn't want to get into a situation where I would have a panic attack. I finally realized that I was at a crossroad when I graduated from high school. i could either continue in my sad cycle or I could break out of it. Instead of doing the safe thing and going to school while living at home I went to a school three hours away and I live in a dorm. That was one of the scariest things to me. But I love it. I went though my anxiety by deciding that if something scared me. .. I was going to do it anyway. Was it easy? HECK NO! But if I hadn't done it anyway then I woudlnt' have been able to conquer it. I'm not saying that a good therapist and a year on a low dose of lexapro didn't help! But a lot of it for me was a decision. And I relied on God to get me through it. All of those together helped me get to where I am today. I hope this helps somebody!
I'm glad your over came the panic problem.You have a good point and I have controlled it enough to where I can function without medication during the day. But at night I take Xanax to sleep because I get flash backs of my mom dying and can't sleep. Lexapro on the other hand made me psyco. I went off on everyone and was suicidal and I am not like that. A beautiful mind was a great movie.
To address the 1st comment. You may have social anxiety. I get this also like you are explaining. I would probably talk to your doctor about it because I have suffered so long before I actually got help and was actually diagnosised this year. Don't think you are stupid for feeling like this because your not. And don't let anyone tell you it is in your head. I was told that for so long that I started to believe it. If you get it all the time in public you may have it. But just on occassion then I am not quite sure. But at least you know where I'm coming from! I would talk to someone. I get anxious all the time for no reason and it is aggrevating.
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Love comments? I do too!
Yay! Someone understands! Oh, I don't get the "It's all in your head." I get the "Stop faking, you're fine."
Annoying as wool socks...my doctor doesn't seem to blieve anything is wrong with me...just wait until I get out to college in another state. I'll find me a doctor there that takes my insurance and will actually believe me! I'm fairly certain I'll be fine until then. I've got a couple of friends who've realized I'm not being a wuss, and they're great at getting me through things. ^_^ It's the whole, "Pay attention to me and ignore the rest of the world" treatment and it does wonders.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
Believe it or not, when I have a panic attack (which isn't very often, so I am VERY lucky), I breathe in a paper bag and it really helps me to keep from hyperventilating. Of course, I am with you when you talk about how difficult it is for others to understand. I would never let anyone I know in person know that sometimes I breathe into a paper bag. It's easier to just keep it to myself than to try and explain it.
Too many people say things like "just get over it, " and it's unfortunate that they will not take the time to realize that for some people that is just not possible. Not everyone's brain is set up the same. I wish more people would be a little more accepting of what they don't understand....
I've tried the paper bag thing during a panic attack. I'm glad it works for you, because it does nothing for me. Not being able to breath really deeply is very reminiscent of my asthma attacks, and brings about more panic. I've learned a trick (from some fantasy novels, no less) that helps me to focus inward in order to calm down. It's like halfway meditaing, and I breathe in count with my heartbeat. In, hold, out, seven beats each. Repeat. It probably works as well for me as the papaer bag does for you.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
Very good blog Dani. Ironically, I just wrote an entry about OCD.
I suffered a couple panic attacks during HS graduation practice. I felt claustrophobic and my chest was all constricted and tight. I had this overwhelming feeling of wanting to be out of there and away from the hundreds of people surrounding me. Luckily I haven't experienced such a severe case since that day, but a couple times I've almost felt the same symptoms again.
Anxiety must suck. I know several people who I tell to not be worry-worts. I guess maybe I'm just ignorant.
Thanks for the great entry, Dani!
~ *~
Visit my blog! I'll even provide a link for ya:
Comments are always appreciated! :)