oNE YEAR I WENT TO NASHVILLE FOR A GOSPEL CONFERENCE (ALWAYS SISTERS) WELL, WHILE BEING THERE MY PRESENCE WAS GRACED BY A WOMAN THAT HAD AIDS AFTER HAVING SEX ONE TIME WITH HER HUSBAND. I FELT HORRIBLE AFTER SITTING THERE AND LETTING EVRY PERSON I SLEPT WITH PLAY THROUGH MY HEAD; I WASNT MARRIED. IT COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY HAVE BEEN ME. WHY HER OF ALL PEOPLE. THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE THAT SAME PROBLEM BUT IT NEVER HIT SO CLOSE TO HOME. I SAW HER FACE TO FACE SHE WAS IN HER 30'S AND LOOKED 50. LATER ON THAT YEAR I WAS TOLD SHE HAD PASSED AWAY I WAS HURT AND AGIN I PICKED OUT EVERY SINGLE REASON WHY THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME NOT HER. I SLEPT AROUND WITH GUYS AND WAS MISGUIDED. THAT DAY I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN SAVED BUT AGAIN I RAN BACK TO THIS VIRUS BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OF ACTUALLY BEING ALIVE I HAVE BEEN WITH GUYS SINCE THAN THAT HAVE GIVEN ME CHLAMYDIA AND GONNORHEA AND I CONTINUEED TO GO BACK GO TO THE CLINIC HERE THE SAME STORY AND NEVER LEARN BECAUSE THEY WERE CURABLE. I WOULD ALWAYS ASK ABOUT THE AIDS TEST AFTER THEY READ OF MY OTHER RESULTS TO MAKE SURE I HAD NOT BEEN AFFECTED. I WOULD TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST AND BE AFRAID BUT NOT TOO AFRAID BECAUSE I FELT NOTHING WAS AS BAD AS WALKING IN TO HER OFFICE AND SHE SIT ME DOWN AND REVEAL POSITIVE RESULTS. I ALWAYS TALKED TO MY FRIEND AND ASKED HER WOULD SHE DISOWN ME IF IT CAME OUT POSITIVE, SHE ALWAYS RESPONDED YES AS WOULD I BUT WOULD WE REALLY BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER IF THE RESULTS ACTUALLY CAME BACK NEGATIVE WOULD I CRY WOULD I FEEL HUMAN WHO WOULD I TELL I CAN'T TELL MY MOM SHE WOULDN'T LOVE ME WOULD SHE? WOULD THE REST OF MY FAMILY CLAIM ME? I SHOULD JUST KEEP IT ALL A SECRET FROM THEM AND JUST DIE SECRETLY NOT LET THEM KNOW? I SHOULD HAVE DIES FROM AIDS BUT DIDN'T. ANYONE I SLEPT WITH COULD HAVE HAD THAT VIRUS IN THEIR BODIES AND GIVEN IT TO ME. I DON'T KNOW HOW I WOULD LIVE IF I HAD AIDS BUT I WOULDN'T WISH THAT UPON ANYBODY. I SHOULD HAVE DIED FROM HAVING AIDS WITH ALL THE RISKS I TAKE WITH MY BODY WITTH THESE MEN I GOTTA PUT AN END TO THIS VIRUS IN MY LIFE SO I HAVE TO PLEDGE TO ABSTINENCE. I HOPE THAT IN SOMEWAY MAYBE ONE MORE PERSON WILL PROTECT THEMSELVES AND KNOW IT CATCHING AIDS CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE INCLUDING UR MOTHER BROTHER BEST FRIEND OR YOURSELF. POSSIBLY ME
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