The other morning I was taking the dogs for a walk around the neighborhood wearing jeans, sneakers, a puffy winter coat and a beanie and some guy whistled at me. There have also been many other times in my life when I was not wearing anything remotely provacative and I'd gotten looks and/or whistles and/or other gestures from men.
Now then, what do we attribute this to? My clothes or the men?
I'm so sick of people (especially in the Christian community) blaming lust on women and the way we dress. Making us feel like our bodies are something to be ashamed of. Our bodies are for more than just sex!! Now, I'm not saying that we should be able to wear whatever we want and not expect men to notice (like the ridiculous t-shirts that say "stop looking at my boobs" right across the chest). But..the men have a responsibility too. Check your thought life, look away, but don't blame us women who are trying to be modest in this sex-driven society. And don't call us sluts or whores (or sinners) if you think our shirts are a little too tight or our skirts are a little too short. You have no idea what it's like to live in our society with all the messages we get and try to be modest and still feel pretty.
And I'm not man bashing. There are a lot of great men out there and a lot of men who are trying just as hard to keep their lust in check and look away. It's difficult for anyone who's trying to be pure and modest. And, no I don't have it all figured out. I don't always make the right decisions. But evertime I buy clothes, everytime I get dressed, I have to do an evaluation and it's not easy.
So give us a break! Yes we have boobs and yes we have butts, and yes they're beautiful...but it doesn't always have to be about sex. Do what you can to check yourself before blaming other people.
THank you.
I think the responsibility is mutual. It is in men's design to check women out. It is highly annoying at times. And women love to be admired..Clothing today is naturally pervocative. Maybe you are just beautiful and men notice:)
Your title cracked me up by the way.. Thanks for sharing :) Good luck!
Awesome post title. Just awesome.
Your post reminds me of how Jessica Simpson was denied a record contract with a Christian label when she was young because they thought she looked too sexy just because she had large breasts. Women's bodies are nothing to be ashamed of, but (and I'm sorry if this offends you) Christianity and religions in general work hard to repress women's sexuality, including shaming their bodies. I think its wrong for sure and its entirely possible to remain abstinent and take pride in your sexuality.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
My Latest Blog Posts
Guys will always be sex driven though and as much as you say no, we want it ten times worse. As for the whistles and other gestures while in normal clothing, if these were random men then its not your fault your beutiful and anyone who sees can see it whether or not in revealing clothing. That is as much a compliment although rude and uneccesary as some ilmannered guys give. Ignore this if it makes you feel uncomfortable. But I agree that some guys definetly go out of their way to make women feel like sex objects which is what I think your point was.
i appreciate what you have to say. i do know that guys are sex-driven and that's why i try to watch what i wear. it's difficult though b/c i do want to be sexy, but there's gotta be a line drawn somewhere. and there's such an epidemic in our society of casual sex and lust as a way of life. it makes me mad also that for us girls, the media basically shows us that to be attractive, we've got to be "sexy" all the time. i don't like it. :-P
Guys are not purely sex-driven. They have brains and the potential for self-control.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
My Latest Blog Posts
oh, definitely. of course. but you have to admit there are general differences from men to women.
but it's a problem both ways. i mean, i'm a christian and i've always gotten frustrated how leaders always stress how difficult it is for guys to control their sexual lust, and there's bible studies for them and everything. but they almost never talk about women having that problem and it's the area i struggle with the most!
so, i definitely didn't mean to imply that men are controlled by their penises and we're just victims...not at all
I totally hate when I see guys just staring at women and making them uncomfortable. I find it quite discusting. But I also know its hard not to take a peek. I think everyone, including women, need to think about how they make other people feel. In addition, the human body is beautiful and there's nothing to feel ashamed of.
you're right, it is hard not to look, even if you try. i'm not into girls or anything, but even my eyes are drawn to cleavage when it's hangin out. it's like a neon sign.
and i definitely agree that the human body is so beautiful. i love nude photography- not porn, but actual art. i can look at it without it being sexual. i think it's a shame when people aren't able to do that.
we've lost so much of our innocence and it's sad. is nothing sacred anymore?
When, exactly, was everyone so innocent?
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
My Latest Blog Posts
when we were children
and before sex was shoved in our faces everyday by the media
I love your post.
Working in a restaurant, I've seen plenty of guys shamelessly staring at female employees. Our uniforms are modest - they're designed to be. However, that doesn't keep people from looking. One night I took food to a table of men and politely asked if there was anything else I could get for them (as is general procedure). Their response? Eyes glued to my chest and a "no thanks, sweetheart." As I walked back to the kitchen I still felt their eyes on me.
I understand that there are men who conciously make the effort to look away, to resist and to show respect. Though, there are also far too many men who will stare, whistle, make comments, etc. despite whatever efforts we make to detract attention.
I couldn't agree with you more! I don't think women should wear TOTALLY revealing clothes, but we shouldn't have to wear unflattering clothes either. There's got to be a middle ground somewhere. I've also either thought that there's definetly a double standard in the christian communities- girls have to be totally modest, but guys can take their shirt off in public and that's OK? I've never really understood that concept.
Stormy
I've been told that I had the buns of Satin....... well no......... actually I have never been told that.
But I have seen plenty of girls ooogling guy's butts and giggling. Guys are not the only ones that are guilty of this behavior.
I'm glad that we have two sexes because life would be much less interesting if we didn't. I enjoy the feeling I get when I see a really attractive woman. And I am glad that women enjoy dressing in ways that give men that feeling.
But I don't think it is necessary to obviously stare and make catcalls or do anything else to belittle people. That kind of behavior is just crude.
I see where you are coming from and I agree with you partially.
Women should be allowed to wear whatever they like without having to worry about what other people think.
Just because we wear certain clothing does not mean we want sex.
I see where you are coming from and I agree with you partially.
Women should be allowed to wear whatever they like without having to worry about what other people think.
Just because we wear certain clothing does not mean we want sex.